I shouldn't have said that!?
By 3R's
12/9/2010 11:46:01 PM
Just thought that I would ask ya ll's opinion about something I said in Sharing time during our AR meeting. I was sharing on how Step 8 and 9 were so healing for me and that my wife was the first on that I approached on asking for her forgiveness. It was a sweet experience and very healing and it also strengthened our marriage. I added a small quip/quote from my wife wherein she said to me after our lengthy conversation involving my confession: She said, "So that's why you NOTICE EVERYTHING" refering to scantly clad women in public to racy scenes in movies or on TV. She knows that I turn my eyes or leave the room.

We'll, during the sharing I gave an example of what happened in our church with how the young women wear their jeans so tight and so low that their b__t crack and belly button is showing. I said that I couldn't help but notice this stuff and that I need to be constantly on guard to not dwell on it but to re-channel my thoughts. I said that I know how the addictive mind works.... I told them that one of my tools of protection was to add a strong firewall and filter to my computer because even this site (LDSAR) has been hyper linked and compromised by porn peddlers.

We'll, a brother thought that I had crossed the line and he came up to me and told me that I should not have said that. He said that I was now inviting others to go to the LDSAR site and try to find these unsolicited porn pop-ups. I told him that these guys already know how to do that. I was just giving them a tool of protection. He strongly disagreed and said in essence that my sharing offered little to do with hope. I feel both assured and at the same time ashamed.

I welcome your thoughts both pro and con.


I think you were fine    
"I don't think what you said was wrong. Nobody needs you to tell them where to find porn. I've never experienced any porn pop-ups on this site. I have shared about using Covenant Eyes on my computer at my group. I think it is good to share those things. I don't think you have anything to feel bad about at all."
posted at 00:29:29 on December 10, 2010 by dstanley
I see    
"...his comment having nothing to do with hope. I mean dear me what if Eve listened to that bowa constrictor and partook of that red delicious apple and then everybody started getting these wacky ideas and had agency and used it terribly and wars broke out and rumors of wars and and oooh what a worrrld what a worrrld!!??...

I mean maybe you could have been more ambiguous. So as not to give anyone any ideas. Those rooms gotta be safe. But maybe we should focus more on and have faith in what protocol is once we get ideas rather then obsessing about not getting ideas? Anyway, seemed a little over the top to me. I probably wouldn't have taken him very serious."
posted at 00:51:22 on December 10, 2010 by They speak
Please, Really    
"The only thing more effective than jewish guilt is mormon guilt. Like the guys in the meetings dont already know every trick in the book.

Sorry to be sassy but some people in the church just need a stiff shot of whisky and just relax. Don't worry, you are fine. The blog is public and open. If these guys were looking to get away with more stuff, most likely they would be anywhere but a meeting. Do we only share happy feelings dripping with honey at the ARP meetings?

Are we all living in the real world?

posted at 00:55:09 on December 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Oh I almost forgot    
"To mention the mormon shame,that one is my personal favorite. Let's shame you into never sharing something without preapproval from a GA too.

The rightesous police were in full force at that meetng, huh?"
posted at 01:01:21 on December 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Wholly cow    
"Anon where have you been all my life?! Ha! Thank you. Seriously. Thanks. What a pleasure.

Its funny cause I just thought "maybe this is one of the dudes/chicks i've gotten in a blogging scuffle with". No matter. That post rocked. Man the church needs more a you!"
posted at 02:07:57 on December 10, 2010 by They speak
"I wouldn't worry about it. You kind of have to feel sorry for the guy if that is what he thinks will happen. Doesn't sound like he has much faith in your group. Actually it sounds like he probably doesn't have much faith in himself. What he suggested would have never entered my mind, but then I am a loved one, so maybe my mind wouldn't go there? WHOOSH right over my head!"
posted at 02:20:23 on December 10, 2010 by Anonymous
@Please Really & Oh I Almost Forgot    
"Like @ your comments (wonder if we could connect facebook, but then wouldn't that defeat the purpose?)"
posted at 11:52:02 on December 10, 2010 by Preemie
You didn't do anything wrong!    
"I agree with the other people who've commented. The people at the ARP meetings need to relax. The whole point of group is for people to open up and be honest about where they're at. Maybe you should find a sexaholics anonymous group and give them a try. I find that they're much more straight forward about where they are, and they leave the mormon drama out of their groups."
posted at 14:09:21 on December 10, 2010 by ETTE
"SA is the business. I think we need to move in their direction some. I often take the example of SA to ARP. I don't know that i've ever made anyone uncomfortable but honestly sometimes I just don't care. I wanna blow the lid of this! Quit pussy footin around. The irony of "focus[ing] on the solution rather the problem" is that part of the solution is admitting and opening up that you have and there is a problem. Funny"
posted at 15:24:38 on December 10, 2010 by They speak
I'm the guy that corrected you in that meeting and I should explain myself    
"The only reason I spoke up is because I am four feet tall and have erectile dysfunction. So please know that when I felt the need to bring your error to your attention, what I was really trying to say is that I am smarter than you and your share got more attention than mine and that is not how it's supposed to work around here."
posted at 15:36:33 on December 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Totally Agree about SA    
"I concur about moving a few steps in SA's direction...

The White Book from SA is like scripture... I dare you to read that book and not find all sorts of parallels to the Book of Mormon."
posted at 22:58:45 on December 13, 2010 by Anonymous

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"Strength comes from uplifting music, good books, and feasting from the scriptures. Since the Book of Mormon was to come forth “when there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth” (Morm. 8:31), study of that book in particular will fortify us."

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988