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scrwed up but I can do this just need to vision myself doing it going forward
By Joshua
12/9/2010 2:19:34 PM
so I just masterbated and I feel like an idiot I should have known just to blog when I started to become curious about something that woulkd add flavor and spice to my physical relationship that my wife wants that I do not want but it did the trick now i feel like justifyinh by saying well at least while i masterbated i was thinking about her but it just doesn't matter point is yes I did it. So what am I going to do next time and the aftermath of this. I am going to say I am not going to just say"screwed up yet again may as well forgot about everyone else effected by this and do whatever I want to as I won't take the sacrament again this week"urghhh!!!!!!!!. Just need to keep on doing my dailies so that depression doesn't hit and I act out or I say to myself why bother to try to remain strong it just is going to happen sooner or later. I need to radiant positive light about this like so what if I screwed up at least I am gettign better little by little and this time I didn't use porn and I can be clean from this now from this time going forward. I am going to visualize myself inside the temple with my wife who will be so beautiful and it will be a wonderful time. for i think I need to have a tangible goal yet attainable goal

Comments:

Sucks Bro    
"It really does, but the fact that your on here right now immediately has got to mean something. I'm proud of you for hopping on right away. Your thoughts (though maybe not your hands) are in the right place. Your body is just following repitition, but this is not what you want, not completely. So good job. Keep the good stuff up."
posted at 14:21:56 on December 9, 2010 by Preemie
Hang in There    
"I agree that it sucks, just don't let it suck you down. Hang in there, don't fall for the lies. Keep looking at the positives and keep trying to do the right thing. I understand needing a goal. I decided that the temple still seems too far off for me, so I've decided my goal is to be one month sober for Christmas. Maybe giving yourself and your wife the gift of sobriety for Christmas could be a goal. Also, good job not justifying your actions. You've come a long way."
posted at 00:05:38 on December 10, 2010 by dstanley
Joshua Rubber BAnd!    
"Put a strong rubber band around your wrist and POP it every time your thoughts start to go to the dark side.
This will help. Simple but proven.
It needs to hurt. That way when you think of the pleasure....pop... you get pain. Soon your brain says, "Hey stop thinking like that!, It hurts! That is not fun!" Keep it there as long as you need it. You may have to change wrists.
Or maybe put it around another body part??? : )
Whatever keep tucking on. Keep at it and do the real work everyday and definately stop using that lame excuse that you are trying to spice up things for your wife. That is another lie you are telling yourself. You are so real, but you need to be brutally real.

HERO"
posted at 00:56:07 on December 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Rubber Band    
"My son uses a rubber band. Now would that be a Dr. Weiss thing Hero? You know I heard that he invented the rubber band.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself :)

Sweet Dreams,

Angel"
posted at 01:17:46 on December 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Thanks    
"Thanks for the snide remarks and digs, that will surely convert us."
posted at 03:02:22 on December 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Welcome    
"Your Welcome."
posted at 12:03:47 on December 10, 2010 by Preemie
Mr Anonymous    
"What are you reading? I see no snide remarks or digs on this post. I kinda want to read what you are reading, so I can get in on the contention :).

I finally understand the rubber band idea now. (I always thought it sounded REALLY silly.) I strongly recommend you don't place the rubber band on anything but your wrist, though."
posted at 18:05:25 on December 10, 2010 by beclean
you're not alone    
"Hey dude, I just wanted to say that you're not alone and others know what you're going through. It's hard, I know, and there's nothing I can say that will make it any easier except you can do it. I know because I've been there. Sometimes you just feel like giving up. That it would be better if you stopped lieing to God every time you repent and mess up again. But as hard as it is, it's got to get better, it just has to. Hang in there. Take one day at a time."
posted at 22:02:00 on December 13, 2010 by Anonymous
:(    
"I fell again my goal ia a week,and I've been trying over and over! But I don't let it bring me down I fall but I get back up and try as hard as I can.I hope heavenly father can see that."
posted at 09:19:43 on December 29, 2010 by Anonymous


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"Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. "

— Spencer W. Kimball