Need an online mentor
By rykersbooboo
12/5/2010 9:20:45 PM
Step 4 - Key Principle — Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself.
I am using the church teleconference phone chat on Tuesday because I have no car. But that also means that I have no access to anyone who can be a mentor. I have been trying to do step four but its either list all my short comings. Which is way easier than it should be or list every hurt that I can remember. I have read the manual and it seems like it is supposed to be a combination of the two but how do I know if I am doing it right? The meeting it is made clear that they don't want to know what is not working in your life only how the program is working in your life. But what happens when your life is completely haywire and nothing seems to be working? How can I get someone to help me make the program work in my life? I started this program addicted to masturbation. I have suffered with that sin for 25 years at least. I have combined this program with another I had purchased years ago called Eliminating Your SDB's and so far the I have lost the urge to masturbate. Almost 3 months. I used to do the behaivor when I was extremely stressed but a I am going through a tremedous stress right now and no urge. But I have discovered that I have a much more serious problem. I have excessive daydreaming. I had a hard childhood. By Mormon standards at least. I have used this daydreaming as way of escaping reality. I realized after starting the program that this is the root of all my problems. I never speak of this to anyone because it is embarassing to tell people. I never heard of anyone who had this problem. Whenever I have read the Thurber story of Walter Mitty, I could relate because when I am in a situation that I can't handle (or think I can't handle) I just go off in a flit of fantasy. I know that a lot of people would just laugh and poke fun at me. But trust me, this is no laughing matter. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It is to me just as bad as if I was getting high with drugs or drink. I have wasted a lot of my life. I am afraid that I will never be rid of it. That it will be the proverbial albatross around my neck. I have done some online research and found that this is actually a problem that they call the Walter Mitty syndrom. I have read some very sad blogs by people who suffer from it and it is as if I was writing them myself. I only have one hope that this program will help me with this and the other character weaknesses I have that are keeping me from being a true disciple of Christ. But I don't know if I can do this on my own. I just don't know who I can go to for help.


You are in the right place.    
"You can feel safe here. If your computer is not firewall protected (I use Comodo) and equipped with a filter like K-9 then you are not safe. I logged onto this site last week on my friends wife's computer and found out the hard way that she didn't have any protection on it at all. Our sweet enemies of the church have put a 'HYPERLINK" to porn sites that automatically pop up when you use this site. So get protected.

As to step 4. Here is how our Missionary couple had us approach step 4. FIRST: write at least 25 things good about yourself. It was hard at first but I finally came up with 28 good things. I am a son of God, a covenant son, I have a good singing voice, I am a scuba diver, I am a biker, I am an excellent gardener, I play guitar, my wife loves me despite my thin hair and bulging stomach, my mom and dad love me, I am a good father, etc. etc.

As to your personal inventory, it will never be completely honest at first. By the time I worked on mine over a period of 6 months I had learned to be more honest. ie: I originally said something like this: " I had to take over the counter stimulants just to stay awake and do my job. I couldn't afford to loose my job." Later I wrote, I stay up way too late and don't get the sleep I need. I take stimulants to stay awake." Get my drift.

As this relates to your "daydreaming" you absolutely need to see a medical doctor on this one. Do you think that you might have adult ADD? Find out what is going on. Love yourself enough to do this and stop beating yourself up over it. Einstein was a day dreamer."
posted at 22:59:26 on December 5, 2010 by 3R's
"I agree with 3R, first make the list of your good qualities. Get professional help. Go after every took that will help you recover.

First Pray: Cast Satan out!

I also would approach this as writing a letter to your Heavenly Father. Write as if you are praying. In fact I would pray and write at the same time. Tell him all of it. He loves you, you are His son. He will send in the artillery, heavenly angels to protect and guide you. The Savior is waiting at the door for you to lay it all at his feet. THE MASTER HEALER! Miracles!

ARP is for recovery! This program will help you access the most powerful tool every created for man. The Atonement of Jesus Christ. Stay with it. Step by step, layer by layer you will uncover the bruises, scabs. puss pockets that infect your life. The master healer, Our Savior will remove them all as you learn how to apply the atonement daily.

Scriptures! Hold on to that ROD! This tool for recovery allows the Lord to talk to you directly.

ARP is the Gospel in action, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little there a little.

Love and Prayers,
posted at 01:16:29 on December 6, 2010 by Anonymous
"I am not a therapist: But this is my observations and experience.

Most addicts and spouses of addicts have a problem with feelings. They do not know how to process them. When they start feeling they medicate by acting out or maybe in your case daydreaming.

You could check into some recovery information that would help you learn how to not shut out feelings. After all our Savior who is our exemplar showed his feelings and emotions. He wept when friends of his died. He rejoiced in the joys of life. He celebrated life, making wine for his mother who had wedding guests to Entertain. He even showed righteous indignation at the money changers at the temple. Feelings are good. They remind us we are living mortal beings. We just get confused as how to accept them and process them in our lives.

With love,
posted at 13:32:23 on December 6, 2010 by Anonymous
Great Advice    
"Everyone had great insights. I am going to start on the 25 things that are good about me.That will be a hard exercise but one I think I need to focus on rather than all the bad I have come up with."
posted at 19:25:52 on December 6, 2010 by rykersbooboo

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"Jesus rejected temptation. When confronted by the great tempter himself, Jesus "[yielded] not to the temptation‚ÄĚ. He countered with scripture. Gospel commandments and standards are our protection also, and like the Savior, we may draw strength from the scriptures to resist temptation."

— D. Todd Christofferson

General Conference October 2006