By stephen99
12/1/2010 1:40:02 AM
Today was good but i found my thoughts wandering to extremely bad places. It really surprised my how if i just let my thoughts wander how far they will go until I realize what i am doing. In the past I have found my thoughts wandering and most of the time it is in the car on the commute to work. So i started getting books on tape and that made me focus on the books on not on my thoughts.
Today when I would catch myself thinking badly I would just tell myself to stop and think of something else. I hope that they don't get worse.
Today my wife threatened to stay at her parents house and said she would only come home if she knew i was sorry. I told her i was and she came home and we decorated the Christmas tree together. It was nice but she was still mad and she said that she felt like i wasn't sorry because i'm not acting like I am really sorry. I do feel bad but it's just i have been so depressed these last few months because of what i have been doing in secret. Now that it is out of the bag it kind of feels good that people know and i can start trying with support from others.
Thanks for the comments i read chapter 32 of Alma and it had a entire different meaning then what it meant on my mission I really enjoyed them. i hope this time will be different, i am planning on going to the meeting on Thursday.
Wish me luck


Way to go, Stephen    
posted at 10:12:19 on December 1, 2010 by Anonymous
Good Luck!    
"Congratulations managing your thoughts. Keep working on it and pray for help. Sorry your wife doesn't feel like you're sorry. Have you thought about telling her what you said here, that it feels good to have it out in the open and be working on it again? I hope you have a good meeting on Thursday. Good luck with your wife and your recovery."
posted at 16:15:22 on December 1, 2010 by dstanley
Your wife needs recovery also!    
"Download the Family/Spouse manual on the left of the screen. Give that to her. Look for a spousal support group PASG"s in your area. Check local Family Services or, the church website. You and she will receive the best recovery by both attending. She need not feel alone. Believe me she does. Your marriage can be amazing if you both work on recovery!!!"
posted at 16:26:16 on December 1, 2010 by byourownhero

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" Is it possible to reclaim a life that through reckless abandon has become so strewn with garbage that it appears that the person is unforgivable? Or what about the one who is making an honest effort but has fallen back into sin so many times that he feels that there is no possible way to break the seemingly endless pattern? Or what about the person who has changed his life but just can't forgive himself?The Atonement of Jesus Christ is available to each of us. His Atonement is infinite. It applies to everyone, even you. It can clean, reclaim, and sanctify even you. That is what infinite means—total, complete, all, forever. "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006