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Thoughts
By stephen99
12/1/2010 1:40:02 AM
Today was good but i found my thoughts wandering to extremely bad places. It really surprised my how if i just let my thoughts wander how far they will go until I realize what i am doing. In the past I have found my thoughts wandering and most of the time it is in the car on the commute to work. So i started getting books on tape and that made me focus on the books on not on my thoughts.
Today when I would catch myself thinking badly I would just tell myself to stop and think of something else. I hope that they don't get worse.
Today my wife threatened to stay at her parents house and said she would only come home if she knew i was sorry. I told her i was and she came home and we decorated the Christmas tree together. It was nice but she was still mad and she said that she felt like i wasn't sorry because i'm not acting like I am really sorry. I do feel bad but it's just i have been so depressed these last few months because of what i have been doing in secret. Now that it is out of the bag it kind of feels good that people know and i can start trying with support from others.
Thanks for the comments i read chapter 32 of Alma and it had a entire different meaning then what it meant on my mission I really enjoyed them. i hope this time will be different, i am planning on going to the meeting on Thursday.
Wish me luck

Comments:

Way to go, Stephen    
"!"
posted at 10:12:19 on December 1, 2010 by Anonymous
Good Luck!    
"Congratulations managing your thoughts. Keep working on it and pray for help. Sorry your wife doesn't feel like you're sorry. Have you thought about telling her what you said here, that it feels good to have it out in the open and be working on it again? I hope you have a good meeting on Thursday. Good luck with your wife and your recovery."
posted at 16:15:22 on December 1, 2010 by dstanley
Your wife needs recovery also!    
"Download the Family/Spouse manual on the left of the screen. Give that to her. Look for a spousal support group PASG"s in your area. Check local Family Services or combatingpornography.org, the church website. You and she will receive the best recovery by both attending. She need not feel alone. Believe me she does. Your marriage can be amazing if you both work on recovery!!!"
posted at 16:26:16 on December 1, 2010 by byourownhero


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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988