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temptations I didn't heed
By Joshua
11/13/2010 3:31:11 PM
So decided to write in hop that I get my feelings out before I commit in my mind to act out then act out, Right now I am feeling the physical and mental anguish to want to masterbate and me being at the bank and seeing less than modestly dressed young women there didn't help. So while I was at the bank I tried to normalize the thoughts of " of course I want to look and start to have lustful thoughts which would feel good but in the end it is not right, doesn't pull me closer to my wife, and doesn't help me reach my goal of eternal life and given my history of sexuality and what I see is normal but I do have a choice I can either give into it or not give it into it." So I tried my best not to give into and that is why while I was talking to one of them about replacing my bank card as I just misplaced I only looked at her for about 1-2 times and very brief so I wiuldn't be as tempted to look anywhere else on her except to talk to her. I made it home without any lustful thoughts but a few seconds I beagn to have lustful thoughts So I decided that instead of focusing on that and beggining my path to the same point of no return I decided to write and now the thought is gone.

On thursday as I was solving my issue of why is an email that I know I didn't push any buttons to send keeps on sending I exit out of my email my logging out instead of typong in another web page or clsoing down the window by clicking on the "x" in the top roght hand corner anbd by logging out as I use hotmail I was brought to the msn page and I do like to to stop and see what kind of articles is on the page whther it be news, sports, or funny stories, etc I saw this one article about the best and worst dressed actresses in hollywood on the red carpet and I was going to go there as I knew I was going to see young pretty women that do not dress modest and I also knew it would become porn to me as I fixate on that and get me aroused BUT I said to myself time to get off the computer and do something else so I did so now if I make it thru today it will be one week since I acted out.

Comments:

Good Job!!    
"Good job managing your thoughts and not acting out.

How's your step work coming? Did you work out with your wife if you'll be going to ARP meetings?"
posted at 16:36:38 on November 13, 2010 by dstanley
Bravo, Joshua!    
"Hurrah! Keep up the normalization; make good choices. Above all else, PUT GOD FIRST. He is the only one who can rescue you from this, no matter what you do."
posted at 17:50:17 on November 13, 2010 by BeClean


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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987