The Truth and Reality Behind the Porn Industry
By angelmom
11/12/2010 12:25:25 AM
I hear so much about addiction, especially lately.

I have been doing a lot of my own research to try to understand this hell that has found it's way into our once strong LDS home. The warnings by the Lord, and through our brethren long ago were not looked upon by many as something as devastating as it now is proving to be.

Many if not all LDS men or women thought that this was not breaking sacred covenants are even as a violation of the Lords commandments. They thick and some still like to claim the "it wasn't a real person" defense.

Flash ahead into the lives of not only the addict, but into the lives of the Spouses and their beautiful children. It spells out devastation on every level. It may not rear it's ugly head now and some may think that things are going okay despite the evil influences of pornography.

Someone (an Anon) on this blog once said to me that I cannot blame all of the problems that we are having with addiction in our home on my husband's porn use. I have to completely disagree. And I will say, blame is not what I was looking for here. It is more of an explanation of what has lead to where we stand today. I have felt for a long time that there is a direct connection to this addiction and the addictions of my children.

I am going to post a link at the bottom of this post. It is not LDS link, but I believe it gives perfect insight into the dark and evil world of pornography. It was hard for me to read because I could feel "the ugly truth" being spoken as I read every word. It is written by Shelly Lubben. She was once deeply embedded into the life of a porn star. By the grace of God, she escaped that world and is now a Christian who will go anywhere and do anything to rescue someone who has found themselves trapped into the evil world she was divinely removed from.

She is the lone voice fighting against this industry. Yes I know, we are all fighting this industry, but she has true insight and has been in the shoes of these women who are now living the hell she use to endure as a porn star.

After she left the Porn industry and found Jesus Christ, The Lord put a burden on her heart for those involved in porn. He moved her heart to start praying for desperately cry out to Him for their salvation.

It was during one of these prayer sessions that the Lord literally opened her eyes to see and understand the demonic reality that exists in the midst of the porn industry.

I apologize if any of this is too heavy for anyone to read, but I decided to provide the link to open our eyes to the story behind the story and bring in the reality. This is especially for the MEN and Women addicts on this site. There would never be enough sugar on the planet to coat this truth Mrs. Lubben is sharing:

I would love you feedback on the link.It is a truth I am not willing to ignore an

With our faith in Jesus Christ, we can protect our homes and our precious children.



Satans Influence    
"Angel, Shelly Lubin, told the story our prophets have been telling us for centuries. News, no. Just coming from an insiders perspective and her intimate experiences with both Satan and his army and the redeeming glory of our Savior, or Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost and the army of the Lord of Hosts.

A prophet of the Lord, Elder Richard G. Scott: “Satan has become a master at using the addictive power of pornography to limit individual capacity to be led by the Spirit. The onslaught of pornography in all of its vicious, corroding, destructive forms has caused great grief, suffering, heartache, and destroyed marriages. It is one of the most damning influences on earth. …….. pornography is overpoweringly addictive and severely damaging. This potent tool of Lucifer degrades the mind and the heart and the soul of any who use it. ….It begins with curiosity that is fueled by its stimulation and is justified by the false premise that when done privately, it does no harm to anyone else. For those lulled by this lie, the experimentation goes deeper, with more powerful stimulations, until the trap closes and a terribly immoral, addictive habit exercises its vicious control.
Participation in pornography in any of its lurid forms is a manifestation of unbridled selfishness. How can a man, particularly a priesthood bearer, not think of the emotional and spiritual damage caused to women, especially his wife, by such abhorrent activity?”
Shelly Lubin, is courageous, to say the least. Amazingly she was able to find the redemptive powers of our Savior. Her story also illustrates to me how important it is for us to acknowledge Satan's influence and dominion over those who exercise their agency against the commandments of the Lord. By making those choices we are inviting in Satan and His angles (demons) 1/3 of the host of Heaven. When I knew that Satan was having influence in my home and over my loved ones. (This was not about pornography either at the time) I did as instructed in the scriptures and also the Holy Temple of the Lord, knowing I was being moved upon by the Holy Spirit, I cast Satan Out! I know he and his angles are real. I to have seen them. I also know that or Savior Jesus Christ is more powerful. I have felt the presence of his angels protecting me and my home. I asked for that protection. We have that power when we are his deciples. When we are choosing righteousness. That does not mean we are perfect, only that we are seeking to follow our Savior. When we exercise our faith, show confidence in what we have been taught and what the scriptures tell us. We can not go wrong.
Yes, those influences were brought into our homes by choices of our loved ones, alcohol, drugs, pornography??? And we can bring those influences in also by allowing Satan to keep us in a state of sadness, hopelessness, confusion, despair, grief........ but we are not doomed, our children are not doomed. We have our Savior and he will make all things right as we follow His plan, the plan that our Heavenly Father provided for us. Take Heart, Take Courage, and put up the good fight!!! Use all the weapons our membership in Christ's Church give us....Hope, Faith, Courage, Strength and Blessings from the most High God!"
posted at 01:41:50 on November 12, 2010 by byourownhero
"There are hard trials for every family. No family escapes. It only looks that way at church when everyone is at their best. There are so many versions of the refiners fire. If we fight with all our might to avoid going through the fire or fight tooth and nail to put out the fire we will never come out the other side of the fire with souls that are pure."
posted at 05:53:52 on November 12, 2010 by Anonymous
Darnit I cannot see it because it is blocked by Cov Eyes    
"Will comment later"
posted at 07:00:34 on November 12, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Thanks for sharing    
"That's certainly something to think about, Angelmom. I imagine the daemons and forces of evil are present on some level whenever we choose to sin, no matter the sin, especially if we choose a sin that is in any way habit forming or addictive. Whenever we choose to withdraw ourselves from the protection of the Holy Ghost, we are left to the buffetings of Satan. And whenever we choose to give our will over to an addictive substance or practice, we are losing the battle for our agency, which is what the war in heaven was all about. The powers of darkness are doing everything they can to get us to give up our they can control us.

Thanks again."
posted at 09:51:36 on November 12, 2010 by BeClean
"I'm no genius. Just an observer. Could be right, wrong, both or somewhere in between.

Calling it blame or an explanation in my mind is irrelevant. What is it getting you, your husband and your boy's? What are you seeking? What have you found?

I haven't read all your posts so maybe I'm off but it seems like prior to your husbands last slip and your ensuing explanation for your families problems you spoke with faith and trust in both the Lord and you and others experience. Now I hear mobilization, pricked by fear/devastation, in order to control out come. Am I wrong?"
posted at 18:15:20 on November 12, 2010 by They Speak
"I'm no genius. Just an observer. Could be right, wrong, both or somewhere in between.

Calling it blame or an explanation in my mind is irrelevant. What is it getting you, your husband and your boy's? What are you seeking? What have you found?

I haven't read all your posts so maybe I'm off but it seems like prior to your husbands last slip and your ensuing explanation for your families problems you spoke with faith and trust in both the Lord and you and others experience. Now I hear mobilization, pricked by fear/devastation, in order to control out come. Am I wrong?"
posted at 18:37:23 on November 12, 2010 by They Speak
"Many addicts are victims, too."
posted at 18:41:20 on November 12, 2010 by Anonymous
Slips and the new me    
"Anon: So true

They Speak: Thanks for your comment and you are right and you are wrong. I will explain. My posts were filled with faith before the last slip. I still have a lot of faith and I am still moving in the right direction. However, one problem I was having was that I was not completely dealing with reality. I had been suppressing and going with the motions so to speak. My husband's slip was a catalyst for me to completely opening my eyes to the truth, which I was not doing before. There have been a million slips, but this one although small in comparison really did something to me I can't explain to this day.

It was not so much of his slip as it was my prayers for truth. I was expecting it to come in a different way, however when I was in the Temple a couple of times, the truth was revealed. The truth of what was really happening to me, my husband, and my family. I have been skipping a very important step in my recovery and grieving, anger. I am learning that this stage is most essential and I was closing my eyes and being the Pollyanna I have always been. The problem with that was that I was too quick to forgive and overlooking the truth as to what was really happening. This is not a good thing as I am learning.

Before that time my hubby would "slip" and I, and my Bishops were like...okay... go thy way... da da da da daaa. Same old thing for over two decades. he would tell me little lies to make me believe I was the only one he ever thought of and so on. It was exactly what I needed to hear to stay in denial. That would be great if it was working for me, but I was noticing myself becoming sicker physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

Now, all bets are off and my husband is for the first time also seeing the truth of what he has done and how much he had hurt our family by bringing this evil into our lives.

So, there you have it..... That is my explanation of why I am the way I am now. Yea, and I agree with the blame/ explanation thing. Does it really matter? Nah, The point is that our lives are broken and we are not living life the way we should or could.

I have a long way to go, but I have decided that I am not working on my marriage or trying to help (fix) my husband anymore. When my Bishop gave my husband yet another assignment for us to do, I said, nope. I have been doing this for 23 years and it is not working. It is up to my husband at this point to fix hings in our marriage, and he completely agrees. It takes the pressure off of me to fix something I did not break...

I hope you are doing well. I have been thinking about and praying for you lately. You are a very choice spirit. I see this in your posts and in the struggles you endure.

posted at 18:42:17 on November 12, 2010 by angelmom
On the article    
"What stood out to me was how God showed her she was protected (fails to mention how) even in the middle of a demon filled room while shooting a porn! What hope. Like one of my favorite apostates, Aminadab. God protected him, and even used him to serve the equally wicked around him, even while he was about to murder 2 prophets (Hel 5)! Similar stories in some ways. What hope for us all. I'll be honest...i don't understand agency as well as I should and how it relates to Gods unwillingness to force us to heaven...but man how He saves with avengeance! Perhaps the time for me now is not to understand my agency but lean to trust in His mightyness. Then maybe the agency will come. I don't know. But never mind that. What radical God!

I think, I think, its good to be mindful of satans influence. But also to keep it in perspective. For me at this time right now I think it should serve as a reminder of my awful powerless unmanageable situation with out God. But like the porn star and Aminadab I too have seen His out stretched arm in the most unlikely places. Even again in the last week when as you all know I least deserved it!..He was there. My faith grows."
posted at 18:57:23 on November 12, 2010 by They Speak
"Very refreshing post. I can dig that"
posted at 19:06:38 on November 12, 2010 by They Speak
I know one thing for sure...    
"I know that the Lord never ever gives up on us. He will never leave us alone. We may feel that he has left us alone sometimes, but it just is not so. He never removes himself from us. I believe it is through our agency that we choose to leave him. However, he keeps giving every one of his children opportunities to return to him.

The only gift we can give back to the Lord that he does not already own is our AGENCY. Lately I have been focusing on giving him my agency as I know that he will do a far better job with my life than I have so far.

Please read this amazing talk from Boyd K Packard on Obedience (and agency). I found it very helpful in understanding about giving our lives back to the Lord as the one and only true gift we can give him.

posted at 20:32:53 on November 12, 2010 by angelmom
Angel mom stand your ground    
"You are taking a stand in not allowing filth in your home. It is not blaming someone when we rocognise and realise how their choices have impacted our lives and those of our children. It is absolutely necessary, I believe the Lord open my eyes to the awful situation of our home and the state of my husband. He was too caught up in denying, justifying and indulging to see just how awful it was. The Lord opened my eyes and I realised how if I did allowed this in my home, my children would be the victims. It was not about controlling anyone rather it is about making my home a safe place and my children safe. No porn in the house and no porn in my life. I will not live with it and I know with certainty that is the will of the Lord for me and my children. I prayed in all of this and commited myself to do Gods will. I think anger was normal, addiction is one of the worse kind of abuse, it destroyed our marriage and caused me pain, time, etc.. and the happiness of the whole family and kids. I mean we are counting losses!!!! It is absolutely normal to be angy and not to allow in our homes and presence further abuse. I know some do not like what I writte.. oh well.. that is my experience and everyone's experience is different, these my answers, I am not saying that is true and right for everyone...
In my opinion, you are doing the right thing, dear Angel, let the Lord inspire you and guide you.
My therapist, told me that if I had not taken a strong stand, never would have my husband changed. He had to feel like he had too much to loose. But I did not do it to make him change, it was just what I felt was right, was not to co habit and share my husband, thus my life and family life with porn.
Take care dear Angel"
posted at 23:08:36 on November 12, 2010 by crushed
Thanks Crushed    
"I really appreciate your words.

I have really come to terms with the reality of our situation and it has been beyond painful to see it for what it is. There is a small part of me that would like to go back to the days of denial only to protect myself and my children from the intense emotional pain we are now facing.

Timing is so important and I guess that right now is the time the Lord decided to reveal the reality of this sin to me. I see this now and use to ask "It is right in front of my face, how did I miss this ?" I didn't miss it, it was just not time for me to take in the full truth. I can see how the Lord has prepared me for this. Seeing it however does not mean I am liking it.

I had never had boundaries before and because of that the door for denial was wide open. Now that I am here, I am realizing how far I have to go and I pray the Lord will continue to hold me through the days when I cannot do much of anything but lean on him. I am having a lot of those days lately.

I continue to work on me and pray for myself, my children, my husband, and my friends who have been touched by this evil. It is hell and I have decided to allow myself to feel every emotion that comes with this so as to not fool myself anymore.

My Husband is starting to see a tiny bit, the pain that has come through his choice to have an affair with a virtual mistress. I leave him in God's hands as there is nothing I can, nor should I do for him. I love him from a distance and pray for his success.

Again thanks for your support, I know you understand.

posted at 23:57:19 on November 12, 2010 by angelmom
"I agree that porn is bad and that it has an impact on both those that make it and those that view it. I don't agree that a father's addiction can be to blame for everything bad that happens to the family. I don't believe that either of my parents are/were addicts yet I am an addict. Also, my being a sex addict doesn't mean that my sons will be addicts, or that if they do it's my fault. Genetics plays a part in addiction, so my sons may have a greater chance of being addicts, but their emotional health I believe plays a bigger role. I'm an addict because of my faulty core beliefs (I'll make a post about that) and needing something to medicate with. I think that because of my addiction my oldest son missed out on time with me. I think there were times I wasn't the best mother because of how badly I felt about myself. However, I don't think either of them are doomed to be addicts. If they do, they can't blame it on me anymore than I can blame mine on choices my parents made. Their choices may not have helped, but they weren't the sole cause. I've learned a lot that will help me help my kids to grow up healthier emotionally.

I'm sorry you are dealing with all you are dealing with. I can only imagine how hard it is to have both a husband and a child addicted. I remember at Family Week in rehab thinking that I pray I never have to go to family week for my child. No one wants anyone they love to have to go through that. No one wants to be an addict. I do know it's hard to find out that the man you love has been lying to you. For me, that was worse than him slipping with porn after we were married.

I pray that all of us addicts and spouses will find the hope and healing we are looking for. I pray that those trapped in the porn industry will find their way out."
posted at 02:31:41 on November 13, 2010 by dstanley
"I hope your don't think I don't like your posts. I'm the last person (i hope) that's going to discourage reality and encourage a phony bull **** mormon bla bla story or what ever. My main curiosity is if your feelings, as your sentiments convay, are making you happy. If so and the Lord is guiding you who is anyone to judge?"
posted at 07:17:53 on November 13, 2010 by They Speak
The link    
"Thanks for the link. Truth is eternal. I wish I had internalized that talk. Made it part of my scriptures. I will now. Plane and simple truths!"
posted at 11:25:53 on November 13, 2010 by Byourownhero
My last comment on this subject... for now :)    
"My husband's porn use brought evil into our home! I could sugar coat this, now but I won't. That is why we have been warned a billion times to not even look once.

Do we have family problems not related to his porn use, sure....However I wouldn't know because we have never had a very long period of time when the evil spirit of porn was not a part of our lives.

Indulging in pornography brings evil spirits into your home. And yes, that will effect everyone in the home in one way or another. We are responsible to keep evil out of our homes. We must do whatever possible to make that happen. We cannot partake of evil and expect it not effect everyone around us. We are trusted with these Children of God and we have the responsibility to keep evil out of our lives and out of our homes.

I cannot speak about blame or whatever you want to call it for anyone else, but I can say that it has been shown to both my husband and myself the truth of our situation. If you pray to be shown the truth in your situation, the Lord will show it to you. For me it wasn't pretty and wrapped up in a bow. Our family can and will heal should my Husband and myself make the Gospel of Jesus Christ the center of our family 100% of the time. That means NO PORN!!!. With porn, we stand no chance. Down the road and away from our home they can heal, but wouldn't I be better to do it here and now? Hubby must stop serving two masters, get it?

The savior covers all sins when we repent. The only way to have the spirit of the Lord with us and to protect us and our children is to sorround them with the light and truth which only comes from Jesus Christ.

I realize there are and will be situations in which they are not sorrounded by truth, but if we have them in our sight most of the time, through our example and clean life, we live bring the protection the Lord has promised.

There is no way around his... Not for me anyway

posted at 11:53:17 on November 13, 2010 by angelmom
The Link    
"Just wanted to clarify the link on Obedience, Packer. GREAT"
posted at 11:53:58 on November 13, 2010 by byourownhero
I need to make this quick    
"I have a bunch of things to do before winter rocks up.

That eye opening literature Angel has made me think a lot. I am just disgusted with myself for having opened the door. I am also learning step by step the magnitude of the destruction my choices have caused. I have not yet gone to my wife and finished step 9 because I am not ready yet. Do I want to do it yes but I want to go to her with the full knowledge of what I have caused her. I am not ready to do it and have not yet. It is coming and it is very soon as this month I gained a great deal. This is a process to recover, they were not kidding, I know my wifes healing will kick into overdrive when I can go to her knowing what I have done to her.

Sure she has told me but I still have tendancies to defend myself, play victim or find excuses to limit the pain I feel because of this mess. I must be able to go to her, feeling her pain as much as possible but more importantly understanding the consequences, the danger and some degree of her pain to make it a sincere apology. I believe that all my apologies to this point in my life were wishy washy watered down lame attempts to get peace back for myself. I cannot do that for this one, I need to be in the moment and live it.

Thank you for sharing I need to know what I did, I need to know how careless and dumb and weak a child I was to expose my family to these damn demons. As I was reading that all I realized why oh why oh why it gets repeated by prophets "avoid porn or anything associated with it." How prophetic they have proved to be.

I hope the God of Heaven and earth who created me will take away that very gift of my life if ever I get to the point where I desire that **** again. Sorry that is what it is, no need for it in my life. I am agry right now as I think about this. CANNOT BELIEVE I LET THIS HAPPEN IN MY FAMILIES LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
posted at 12:26:20 on November 13, 2010 by ruggaexpat
"Just the simple phrase, but when delivered from your loved on who is experiencing Godly Sorrow, not much more needs to be said."
posted at 13:49:02 on November 13, 2010 by byourownhero

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"Jesus rejected temptation. When confronted by the great tempter himself, Jesus "[yielded] not to the temptation”. He countered with scripture. Gospel commandments and standards are our protection also, and like the Savior, we may draw strength from the scriptures to resist temptation."

— D. Todd Christofferson

General Conference October 2006