Day 5!
By britta
11/1/2010 9:38:02 AM
So today is day 5 on "not helping myself" and day 19 of looking at anything on the internet! I went and talked to my Bishop yesterday and it went wonderful! He wants to meet every week to go over things. I'm still seeing my therapist and that is amazing! I feel the spirit again after talking to the Bishop! I feel like the old me. I don't feel this guilt or shame anymore that I did before I talked to him. I'm glad I am on this path to finding out what I need to do with my life. I'm thankful for this website and the love and support I get from every one of you!!

Have an amazing November!!


re consider this    
"I think if you call stuff what it is, you'd be better off. Like 'I haven't masturbated for 5 days' -or- 'I haven't had sex for 5 days'.
It might tough to call something what it is, but its easier to deal with it when you call it what it is.

I just wanted to make a comment to give you something think about. In my opinion there is a difference between a compulsion + addiction. If a person masturbates 1-2x a week, that probably wouldn't be an addiction. That would be more compulsion...even 1x a day almost wouldn't be. Most people, especially men do it almost everyday. That's not to say its right, just is.

If a person was to go 3+x a day that could be more of addiction territory. Remember, if your life has become unmanageable....that's the key (you loose stuff...job, friends, money). You can still get a grip on things before it gets to that point, but I think that a person would be more on the compulsion side + not an addict.

One way to gauge would be your frequency, how many times a day or week. A compulsion is easier to deal with then an addiction.

Another thought. Unless youre like this may not be an're doing it so much you don't realizing your doing it, only then to realize you're doing it. Make sense?

We all desire sex (well most), and its normal to want it. God made it that way. But we need to live it with in the bounds that's set. Its not wrong to like it or desire it...I think in some addiction circles people are like 'oh, I can't like it anymore....'. There's nothing wrong with a normal sex life. The lord told adam + eve to be fruitful...we can enjoy each others company....with in the prescribed bounds. Liking sex isn't dirty or perverted...I believe that to be a lie

I also look at it like this. Ok in a cig pack, there is 20 smokes right? Some people smoke half a pack + some smoke 20 a day...I would think that would constitute an addiction. So, if your not masturbating atleast 10x day, youd probably don't have an addiction, which is easier to deal with. Furthermore, With cigs, you have to stop what your doing + seek out cig break, a few times during the day....

This is just my opinion. Compulsive behavior is different then addiction. An addiction will cause to be unmanageable...which you loose jobs, money, friends, on and on...

I only suggest this as to consider you're not doing as bad as you might think. We still need to 'do all we can do' and watch ourselves.----wt"
posted at 12:34:47 on November 2, 2010 by Anonymous
Thanks for the positive update BRITTA    
"I do not agree with much of what ANON stated above other than this; Sexuality was created for us by God. It is meant to be used and enjoyed by us within the bounds he has set. He has given us commandments, boundaries with consequences. It is the most powerful natural stimulus HIGH we can achieve. He planned it that way and HE wanted us to have the blessings of that union. The chemicals released in our brains when we reach sexual satisfaction are bonding hormones and chemicals. So whatever we are thinking or looking at we bond with we desire, we need, we crave. That is how God intended it. He planned for us to wait until we were married to have sexual relations with our spouse and bond for life. To keep our sexuality within our marital union. We desire no other because we know no other. So there in lies the danger of lust, self gratification, fornication, adultery. We loose control of what and who we crave, what and who we have bonded with."
posted at 13:20:10 on November 2, 2010 by byourownhero
I disagree    
"Addiction isn't about how often you act out, it's about not being able to stop it on your own and your life being unmanageable. There's no magic amount of acting out that makes it an addiction. I think the more you are doing something, the more likely you are addicted, but you could be doing something infrequently and still be addicted. My counselor told me that he has/had a client who had sex with an ex-girlfriend (or someone not his wife) once a year and he was still an addict. He just went through the addiction cycle more slowly than some (perhaps most)."
posted at 13:20:49 on November 2, 2010 by dstanley
What was that?    
"Did Anon just say that you need to be masturbating 3-10 times a day or more to consider it an addiction? Did Anon suggest that one cigarette a day is not an addiction?


I don't think that I ever came close to that level of involvement, even when I was the most trapped several years ago. But I couldn't stop; I was addicted.

Here's a helpful question: Can you go cold turkey right now, stop your self-destructive behavior, and never do it again? Are you really in charge of your actions, or are you out of control? If you can't stop right here, right now, forever--if your life is unmanageable--I suggest you are addicted.

Either way, you need the Savior, and the 12 steps can help you move towards him and accept his atonement and his grace."
posted at 13:36:45 on November 2, 2010 by BeClean
What the Heck???    
"What the Heck is ANON talking about?? Who is that? I'm so confused....if I want to call it "helping myself" I'm gonna call it "helping myself". Sorry but thats my personal opinion."
posted at 18:25:41 on November 2, 2010 by britta
That is our friend wt.    
"Who we almost lost there for a minute so let's just be glad he's on here and cut him some slack! Read his posts from last week. He's a newcomer too!"
posted at 19:02:43 on November 2, 2010 by Anonymous
you guys missed my point    
"You guys totally missed my point. It was meant to be positive message especially the last lines but you completely missed it. I'm sorry I was clear ---wt"
posted at 20:07:50 on November 2, 2010 by Anonymous
"How is life treating you, lately? I was thinking about you yesterday."
posted at 20:15:17 on November 2, 2010 by Anonymous
Minor disagreement    
"Of course, we're always happy when ANYONE posts and contributes. But that doesn't mean we have to agree with each other. Hardly anyone seems to agree with me these days, which is fine. No one was attacking WT. We just disagree with some of what was said. We can do that in a friendly, supportive way. We're all on the same team.

I would love to read some of WT's posts from last week, as you suggest, anonymous, but I can't find any. There appears to be no WT among the site's 617 members. In defense of all of those who had no idea who anonymous was, it's hard to track what people are saying or who people are when they insist on posting anonymously."
posted at 22:10:28 on November 2, 2010 by BeClean
"Does anonymous posting really bother you that much? No one is asking for you to AGREE with anything. You seem sore about someone disagreeing with something you said in the past. Believe it or not this wasn't about you. What could you possibly find wrong with someone asking for a little charity towards someone who may not have as much experience as you?"
posted at 22:46:15 on November 2, 2010 by Anonymous
"I was just trying to help, guess it didn't. I just won't post my insight. Obvious people disagreed. ---wt"
posted at 10:30:12 on November 3, 2010 by Anonymous
"No big deal. Don't worry about it. We always welcome input. Everybody disagrees with everybody. I wasn't upset per-say about what you said. I was just pointing out that I am more comfortable saying nick names than saying the actual word. Don't feel bad and stop posting because if everyone stopped posting if someone disagreed with them, there would be no posts. :)"
posted at 10:51:19 on November 3, 2010 by britta
"I'm not sore about anything. Read what I wrote:

"I would love to read some of WT's posts from last week, as you suggest...but I can't find any."

I'd appreciate it if you would offer some help and point me in the right direction so I can get to know our friend. Thanks."
posted at 18:31:18 on November 3, 2010 by BeClean
Oh man, I knew you sounded familiar...    
"SKYTEAM! I remember you way back when. You were around from the olds day! Welcome back, brother. Stick around!"
posted at 23:54:46 on November 3, 2010 by Anonymous
WT, skyteam    
"I am just glad you are here, brother. I remember including you in many a prayer. You are still in the good fight and that makes me happy. It can be so easy to throw in the towel, I know because I've been there. The fact that you are still around means that you are on the winning side of this fight. What has happened since you were on here before? I'm curious. Have things gotten any better recently? I probably shouldn't hijack someone elses thread but it's just good to know you're still with us."
posted at 00:03:01 on November 4, 2010 by Anonymous
Thank you WT, Skyteam, Warren    
"I appreciate being able to look back over your posts. I feel I've been able to get to know you a little better, and now I know who to pray for. For some reason, it's hard to pray for "anonymous" people. It's much easier to ask God to bless, support, sustain, and help WT. Now you and your situation can be in my thoughts throughout the day, and I am glad. Thank you for sharing!"
posted at 09:36:11 on November 4, 2010 by BeClean
thank you be clean    
"That's really nice of you to offer a prayer on my behalf. Its kinda overwhelming. I'm still alive + things are the same. I wish I could turn back time."
posted at 08:44:50 on November 6, 2010 by Anonymous

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"Just as the landfill requires dedicated work and attention, laboriously applying layer after layer of fill to reclaim the low-lying ground, our lives also require the same vigilance, continually applying layer after layer of the healing gift of repentance.…Our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, feel sorrow when we choose to remain in sin, when the gift of repentance made possible through the Atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify our lives. When we gratefully accept and use this precious gift, we can enjoy the beauty and usefulness of our lives... "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006