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to have what they have you have to do what they do
By NatoshaC
10/31/2010 11:13:47 PM
wow, where to even begin since i was thirteen i have switched from one addiction to another everything from alcohol cocaine herion weed to perscription drugs....ive been thru programs hospitals group homes and counsiling obviously nothing worked before...so my wake up call happend not this past friday but the one before when children services showed up on my door step with drug tests natuarally i flipped i knew i couldnt pass one. so, the temporarily placed my three girls with my mom n dad. i think the hardest thing was watchin my babies leave and not being able to be around them. the pain is unexplainable ive blamed everyone BUT myself up until recently kept tellin myself well if you would have just....then you could have gotten away with it. not only using but have been selling for years doing things that by no means should i have been. never wanted it to be like this at all never intended to do any of it but once your addicted you give up your agency guess i didnt realize what i had until it was gone and now im lost alone and confused. who knew right? but now i have seven days sobriety once again i start the road to recovery...only this time it means the world nobody messes with my kids. it took all this for me to realize that what i was doing was wrong, not that i didnt kno but when ur high u dont care about anything but when the next high is comin n how u were getting there that day, which for me wasnt a problem when ur dealing it never is..ive never felt these emotions before. but, ive stayed positive with the support of a few ARP memebers. Looking at the whole situation as being a gift a time to fix me and focus on me. on the positive side i am able to see my kids on a daily basis and looking at them makes me realize how bad i was messin up and God knew that was the only way to get my attention. Glad i have the foundation in the church i do. dont get me wrong its not perfect here, i break down daily and cry but each time i remember to hit my knees isnt it a great and wondeeful power He has to calm you. you have to give it up to get it back.



Mood: Things are going to be okay.

Comments:

pedro nunez    
"I ABSOULTLEY LOVED YOUR STORY AND YOUR ABSOULTLEY RITE IM IN RECOVERY NOW, IN BAKER CITY OREGON AND I ALSO HAVE A TESAMONRY TO BARE, ON DECEMBER 15 OF 2011
I WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD AND BEAT WITH CROW BAR AND, I WALKED AWAY TO BE TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL IT WAS OUR HEAVONLY FATHER GIVING ME A 2ND CHANCE TO LIVE AND SHARE THE GOSPEL AND BY DOING THAT I FEEL CLENSED ITS MY NEW AND ONLY RUSH NOW
YOU CAN DO IT AS LONG AS YOU KEEP YOU FAITH IN THE LORD. AMEN"
posted at 17:50:39 on July 7, 2011 by Anonymous


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"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004