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Doing Better
By dstanley
10/30/2010 12:07:27 AM
I gave up yesterday. I went to an adult store and made some purchases and then spent a fair bit of time acting out. Today has been good though. I started off with some journaling. I prayed and did some scripture study while my 11 month old napped. I also loaded and ran the dishwasher, got a load of laundry done, made my bed :), and folded a load of my son's clothes. We took a walk when he woke up and then we had lunch with my mom. I got a bunch of baby stuff posted on CraigsList while he napped this afternoon. I also unloaded the dishwasher and did some more laundry. Most importantly, I threw the stuff I bought in the garbage this morning. The journaling, prayer, and scripture study was really good and helped a lot (I hadn't prayed since Wednesday morning), and it felt good to be productive. It's probably the best I've felt in the last week. Sobriety feels good. Hopefully this is the first day of many. I want to be able to go to the temple some day. I want to do my grandmother's temple work also (and other family members). I want peace and joy in my life again. I learned a few things from this set of slips. I need to be more aware of how things in my life are affecting me emotionally and be careful that I'm not stuffing my emotions. When the major urges hit I need to rely on God more and not assume that it's a done deal that I'm not going to be able to resist. I also need to use the phone and call someone that can help talk me out of it even if it is late at night. So now I'm working on forgiving myself and getting back to doing the little things that help keep me sober. I'm trying to set reasonable expectations for myself and not go so overboard in recovery stuff that I can't sustain it. I need to try and avoid both extremes and find the middle ground. So, to bed I go. Hopefully I can get some good sleep tonight so I can have a good day 2 tomorrow.

Hang in there everyone. We can do this.

D

Comments:

Good!    
"Only 5 slips in the last 2 years?! You better be doing better ya lucky duck ;)

Really though great job. Thanks for the encouraging comments btw. Your a cool chick and usually have some pretty wise stuff to say"
posted at 02:33:08 on October 30, 2010 by They Speak


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"By emulating the Master, who endured temptations but “gave no heed unto them,” we, too, can live in a world filled with temptations “such as [are] common to man”. Of course Jesus noticed the tremendous temptations that came to him, but He did not process and reprocess them. Instead, He rejected them promptly. If we entertain temptations, soon they begin entertaining us! Turning these unwanted lodgers away at the doorstep of the mind is one way of giving “no heed.” Besides, these would-be lodgers are actually barbarians who, if admitted, can be evicted only with great trauma."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987