Life is good
By ruggaexpat
10/29/2010 2:00:18 PM
I do not count the days, take them one at a time. Doing so has taken any form of "I got to be clean" stress off my shoulders and it works because as each day passes, another one arrives. Quite a few have gone that way and time just does its thing. I wish there was no counter in front of me because it reminds me of how low a count I have in the scheme of things. I hate that thing. Just want time to play its tune while I get about my daily activities. Things have progressed, most important my beautiful wife said last night she does not want a divorce. While she says she does often, I felt she meant if then because she was calm and serious. So you fantastic sisters out there thanks for keeping me sane throughout this ordeal that has yet to come to a complete end but he worst is gone along with sin so hey life is so good right now (touch wood).

Second, I have full activity in the church, calling, temple, Home Teaching etc. Oh yes very important priesthood in the home and not the watered down version I subjected my family to for years.

Third, A job, not the dream one, but the right job for now that allows me to be with family often and mend relationships quicker than not. Gosh our God is great.

Then there are many things missing - Trust, emotional intelligence, romance (fancy me saying it), true pure love, etc.

Then there are things that will never come back - Time with kids when they were newborns, time as they grew up, time with by dear wife, time with well time and all its moments that could have been but were not. These are the true regrets now that I live with, it is hard to live with it but I know it is the consequence of my decisions.

So I have been given a new calling well had it for a month now. Sunday School teacher for adults. Talk about a blessing from the Lord to serve in this calling and study the gospel.

This week is Jeremiah and wow there is a moment in his life where the Lord sends his prophet to a potters house. He is sitting watching a potter build a clay jar. He stops and realizes there is a type in this scene. The potter realizes there is a flaw in his jar, so he stops the machine and breaks up the SAME clay in his own hands and begins the process with that same piece of clay to make a whole new jar. Well the Lord teaches him an important lesson: He (the Lord) is the potter and we are the clay. He molds us through our challenges and triumphs. Jeremiah had a sucky life man but it was to allow the Lord to shape him into now after learning about his life my fav OT prophet.

That is what the Lord is doing for us all. We are in his hands and he lets certain things happen to us, lets us get broken down completely only to build us up into something better.

How cool is our GOD?


What chapter?    
"That goes well with the tao te ching teaching on emptiness I quoted. Nice."
posted at 14:31:26 on October 29, 2010 by They Speak
chapter 18    
posted at 14:57:39 on October 29, 2010 by ruggaexpat
"I am sorry that you are going through such a lonely time. I know that it's little consolation but we are here for you. Some of us have been in that very isolated and lonely place and I can tell you that it does get better. We have no guarantees about how our life will go but if we stay on the recovery path, we do have a guarantee that life will get better. Sometimes Heavenly Father has to move out the clutter to make room for something better. You may ask, what could possibly be better than having my family? I don't know. It may be having your family back but with a whole new perspective on things. It may mean a stronger and more Christlike you, that is ok with being alone and gains peace and fulfillment by serving others. It may be a whole new relationship. I don't know. I just know that if we stay on the path of recovery and work an honest program, things ALWAYS get better. I'm not saying there aren't some low points but the overall trajectory is up. Hang in there, Paul.

Well done, rugga! Nice example you're setting for the rest of us!"
posted at 18:13:35 on October 29, 2010 by Anonymous
paul I sent you an email    
"Lets chat you will find my number

posted at 08:01:07 on October 30, 2010 by ruggaexpat

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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990