Let Go and Let God
10/22/2010 12:33:54 PM
This is scheduled to be published in the new Family Support Manual. It offers some great guidance.

Let Go . . .
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To “let go” is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the
outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own
To “let go” is not to be protective,
it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead
to search out my own shortcomings and to correct
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and to cherish
myself in it.
To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To “let go” is to not regret the past,
but to grow and to live for the future.
To “let go” is to fear less and to love more.
(Author Unknown)


Letting go with love    
"I remember the time I could let go with love. It was when my husband was stumbling up to bed. He was very drunk and fell down on the landing on the stairs. He thought he was in bed and curled up right there. I just climbed over him and went upstairs. The loving part was when I tossed a blanket down to him. That was a great moment.
Keep your sense of humor."
posted at 13:06:19 on October 22, 2010 by BTTB
Great Post    
"Thanks for the post!"
posted at 13:51:06 on October 22, 2010 by dstanley
"Great story!"
posted at 13:51:17 on October 22, 2010 by dstanley
I really like that    
"Thank you. What a great reminder!!! I also heard today on the radio, they were giving some councils to people experiencing hardship and it really hit me. They were saying the first thing to do if we want to heal and past trough our trauma,was to let go of the victim mentality. Not consider ourselves as a victim of our lives or of our circumstances. It really hit me. So today I want again to let go of my sense of feeling victimised by my husband's addiction. I want to choose to see it for what God sees it, which is a crucial learning experience for me. (I'm trying hard not to put exclamation marks :). When we stop considering ourselves as victims, we get our power back to create the kind of life we would like to have. I am still at the beginning at the journey to recovery, but I can see already that as much as I hate to admit it (I hope my husband does not read this, he loves to trace what I write), I might have needed this experience. It was and still is the most painful experience of my life but it brought me to my knees, and it brought me to face my own weaknesses, and to learn to love myself. If I had been with someone who had loved me and taken care of me, I would not have discovered that I needed to love myself, I needed to stand up for myself. I needed to change so many things about myself. It is still too painful for me to fully be grateful, but I can slowly feel stronger...

Dstanley, I just wanted to tell you, I was thinking about you and thou we are strangers, I know you can do it and the Lord loves you for all the efforts you are making. Never, ever let Satan make you believe you are less than others or that you are not doing a good job. The Lord loves you for all the efforts you are putting in and he will be there for you, you can do it. Do not give up. You are a strong women. My mother in law, gave up into her own addictions after her divorce and left the church, etc.. today all her children are addicts and struggling, as she is. I can not judge her or her circumstances, but her son, my husband wishes that she would have been a bit more like you and not give up and continue to progress, you are laying the foundation of a great life for yourself and your children. It is not an easy road, but he will be there for you. What you are doing now, fighting, will make a huge difference in the life of your precious children."
posted at 21:22:59 on October 22, 2010 by crushed
Great Steps Crushed    
"Today you learned one of the hardest lessons for a wife. Congratulations! It's so normal to feel victimized. The other two things we do so well are persecute and rescue. All 3 are natural reactions and all 3 are wrong. I love these steps and how it gives us the strength to recognize where we need to change regardless of where our loved ones are. It's hard to wrap your mind around. It's so peaceful when you finally get it!"
posted at 00:33:07 on October 23, 2010 by SEEINGLIGHT
Thanks Crushed!    
"That really means a lot to me. I feel pretty good about where I am right now. There's still plenty of work to do, but I'm on the right track. I also think that I needed this experience. This addiction is what brought me to the church. I don't think I would be a member right now if I hadn't had this addiction. I need and want to be an example for my children. They probably won't ever get that from their birth fathers. Hopefully someday I will have a husband who can also be an example for them, but I'm trying not to count on that."
posted at 17:07:49 on October 23, 2010 by dstanley

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"One of the great myths in life is when men think they are invincible. Too many think that they are men of steel, strong enough to withstand any temptation."

— James E. Faust

General Conference, April 2002