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Step 1
By Britta
10/14/2010 11:33:43 AM
Wow, what a ride I have taken. I dont like the ride but I sure have liked the end. I have been feeling a little (in translation means A LOT) guilty about the things I have just happened to fall into. I never meant to become addicted to shopping and codependency. Never meant for those to happen, then one day I looked at porn, and then I masturbated, and then I had sex with a girl and I am a girl. I never meant for those to happen....then I became a little dependent on some of those things...they help me to avoid my emotions...but I'm not fully addicted but I do understand how it can be...so I wanted to do this before I got too addicted that I was stuck. So I printed out the Recovery Manual and I have been reading my scriptures and I have been reading the work book and praying and putting all sorts of blocks on my internet and clearing my history so i dont even have to come across it anymore....because I dont want Satan to have that power over me..I dont want that on my shoulders....I still feel guilty but just keep letting my pride from talking to my bishop...but I guess I just need to grow a pair and just do it....Jesus Christ suffered for me so that I can go to my bishop, yet I dont do that when I need to....how selfish....so today on my day one of recovery I am going to take the first step and admit that I am an addict.....

Comments:

Good For You!    
"Even though this is an anonymous website, it still takes guts to plainly admit your problems on a public forum. It sounds like you have already taken the first step, and you are on your way to recovery.

I know how hard it can be to talk with a Bishop. I went through a period of several years in which I lied to my priesthood leaders because I was too ashamed to admit my problems. Even when I began confessing, it took about three years before I came completely clean. I served a mission for two of those three years, and I can tell you that carrying that much guilt around while trying to be a saint is living hell. The day I finally came clean and confessed everything was the most peaceful day of my life, and although I haven't been perfect since then, I have gotten a lot better. It just feels good to be true to myself.

I wish you the best of luck with your situation. You'll be in my prayers.
"
posted at 12:05:22 on October 14, 2010 by ETTE
Welcome    
"Congratulations on admitting you're an addict. Recovery isn't an easy thing, but it is well worth it. Reading the recovery manual is great, but I'd recommend finding an ARP group to go to if you can. I also have found LifeStar to be helpful. If Internet activity is a problem for you, you might want to look into getting Covenant Eyes for your computer. I've used it in the past and recently put it back on my machine after a relapse with Internet activity. Also, know that you aren't the only female with sexual addictions. I am a female sex addict, and there are others out there as well. I hope that you will have the strength soon to talk to your bisdhop. It will be worth it, and it will help to start getting things off your chest and get rid of the secrets."
posted at 15:11:20 on October 14, 2010 by dstanley
another filter that has worked for me so far    
"try k9 it is free and it allows u to put on blocks that would be suggestive to u that starts u on that path towards not only the porn but masterbating too and not what the world would consider porn"
posted at 19:22:19 on October 14, 2010 by Anonymous
Step 5    
"I'm not saying don't confess if that will help you along. Remember though confession isn't till step 5. Maybe your not there yet. Either way dont beat yourself up. You seem obviously and refreshingly open. You'll confess when you're ready."
posted at 21:47:11 on October 14, 2010 by They Speak


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"I will speak briefly of the principle of repentance. How grateful I am for the understanding we have of this great principle. It is not a harsh principle, as I thought when I was a boy. It is kind and merciful. The Hebrew root of the word means, simply, "to turn," or to return, to God. Jehovah pled with the children of Israel: "Return . . . and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful . . . and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God." When we acknowledge our sins, confess them and forsake them, and turn to God, He will forgive us."

— Richard G. Hinckley

General Conference April 2006