By byourownhero
9/24/2010 5:49:14 PM
So many write about thier struggles. This Practicle exercise may help. From his free weekly newsletter.


Practical Exercises
Excerpts From: 101 Practical Exercises for Sexual Addiction Recovery by Weiss
e-Book It! (Available through Heart to Heart Counseling Center $39.95)

In the addict's active sexually addicted life-style, he rarely thinks of the pain he is causing himself or anyone else. In recovery from sex addiction, when the addiction "talks to you" it will try to sell you as to how "A little bit won't hurt," or "Who will know? You can act out just one more time. You are sober enough. It won't affect your recovery." These and many other lies try to maximize the current benefit to you (i.e., it feels good) and minimize the long term negative effects (i.e., this could be the beginning of two to ten year binge and you'll lose your marriage, business and possibly get a sexually transmitted disease). This addiction is very crafty!

A tool that has helped many recovering addicts maintain recovery is having a negative experience locked in, almost memorized that maximizes the pain and minimizes the pleasure to act out. For some sex addicts this picture could possibly be getting picked up by the police. For others, their worst picture is getting kicked out of the house for good, seeing your child's face when you leave, seeing your spouse cry, hearing a judge say "no visitation privileges," the loss of a job, a flirt with AIDS or abortions. These are only a few of the negative experiences that could occur. You may have one or more painful moments that would minimize the pleasure of acting out. You may want to write down these experiences to remind yourself of them when you are tempted to relapse.

After you write down these experiences, picture it in your mind as vividly as you can and feel the feelings. Practice this picture in a public place (you're not as likely to act out) 2 to 3 times a day for three days. Rehearsing this image and the feelings that go with it will make you ready to beat the addiction.


might I add    
"...for me I've come to believe these methods only work when quickened by the Spirit. Because mine is so dead when I need to feel.

I think they are what I need to do but only after I get the grace, to do them at all, that I find at meetings, threw step 1 2 3, etc.

I dont know maybe for the addict the Spirit is the only driver available that both connects the limbic system to the executive, prefrontal cortex, part of the brain and simultaneously turns on the lights at the office.

I feel like a hypocrite saying that and half the positive rubbish I spout because only months ago I thought the steps and church and psycho analysis and the atonement etc had proven ineffective and therefore where ineffective. I was deceiving myself and though I believed the lie and could inflate it to you with all the flattering words of babylon in my heart (sometimes really really deep deep down) I knew I was wrong. God had told me otherwise prior to my fall.

Anyway, I like this. I think I'm going to do this practice with my Overwhelmed blog.

posted at 18:44:36 on September 24, 2010 by They Speak
The Spirit    
"They Speak, you are right on the mark.

I have recently been reminded that when temptations come to me these days, there is ALWAYS a period where I am allowed to reflect on what I am contemplating doing. In that moment, I can picture "my worst moment," as described above. Alternatively, I can imagine and feel my love for my God and my family. I can remember my goals to be worthy for certain events. It seems that at this point in my life, I am warned by the Spirit far before temptation takes hold. Consequently, it rarely takes hold for more than a second or two.

Praise God, for without him, this would be impossible. In fact, I know that there were times in the past when I NEVER had this moment of introspection before I sinned. Temptation would arrive and I would be sinning, thoroughly in the throws of my addiction before I even knew it was coming. When my acting out was done, I would look back and ask, "Why didn't I remember my plan? Why didn't I see the trigger? It's almost like I didn't have a choice! Why couldn't I choose?" I was so addicted, so focused on my lustful desires, I just didn't even notice the moment of choice, if it was there.

I now believe that if I don't have the Spirit with me--the Holy Ghost I was given at baptism--then I may not even receive a "warning" that temptation is near. I may not notice the triggers, and I may not remember my plan of action. As you said, They Speak, "these methods only work when quickened by the Spirit."

And for me, retaining the Spirit involves daily scripture study and prayer, regular church and temple worship, selfless service, and otherwise doing those things that I CAN control, since I can't control my addiction without HIM and His Spirit."
posted at 19:01:12 on September 24, 2010 by BeClean

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"I will speak briefly of the principle of repentance. How grateful I am for the understanding we have of this great principle. It is not a harsh principle, as I thought when I was a boy. It is kind and merciful. The Hebrew root of the word means, simply, "to turn," or to return, to God. Jehovah pled with the children of Israel: "Return . . . and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful . . . and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God." When we acknowledge our sins, confess them and forsake them, and turn to God, He will forgive us."

— Richard G. Hinckley

General Conference April 2006