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Day 2
By therenow
8/10/2010 10:44:01 AM
Day 2 stared well. I studied the scriptures for an hour or so. Pleaded with Heavenly Father for strength and the knowledge that he loved me. Not so good there. I felt I must be more obediant to the word of wisdom was my impression along wih continued scripture study. Then my daughter in law e mailed that she was going to leave my son because he was on meth. We went to his home and talked with him. He denied the drug problem but said he was extremely depressed (runs in the family from grandparents on) He agreed to a drug test and it was negative. The day went on and I drank. Not too a point of drunkenness but enough to make me feel very upset with myself and disappointing to my Heavenly Father.
Now I am back to square 1. Worthless to any and all. Can't even pray as I asked my Heavenly Father for strength and forgiveness yesterday and then betrayed him with my weakness.

Comments:

Can't Pray?    
"Disclaimer: If you don't want to read a fellow addict's thoughts and ideas, don't read this post.

I know what it feels like to feel unworthy to pray. And the idea that you can't pray is hogwash. Heavenly Father loves you and wants to help you despite what you did on Day 2. He wants you to report back to him, whether you succeed or fail. He is happy that you are making an effort to overcome this difficult challenge. He is happy that you prayed and studied the scriptures. He knows this is a long road, and you have only just begun. He doesn't expect you to be perfect from Day 1. He will make you perfect in his time.

So, here's a thought my brother and I have had recently. Use it if you feel it applies to you.

Many addicts think that when they pray, they have to say, "I'm sorry. If you give me the strength, I'll never do it again." And then, they feel unable to pray when they screw up, because they broke their promise. Thus, Satan snares them with addiction, depression, and zero self worth.

Look, step 1 is that we realize that we are powerless to overcome our addictions, and our life has become unmanageable. So, how can we just kneel down and promise never to do it again? That would indicate that we think we are still in control of our addictions. But we're NOT! (Remember, step 1.)

Instead, I think our prayers should have more pleading for mercy and grace and more promises that we CAN keep. In other words, when it comes to our addiction, we pray something like, "Lord have mercy on me, a sinner. I humbly kneel and ask you to make this weakness a strength. I have faith in you, and I know that I can't do it. But I know that you can, through the atonement. I am nothing without you."

Then, we make some other promises and requests, if we feel inspired. For example, instead of promising to never give in to our addictions again, we promise to read the scriptures for 30 minutes every day this week. We promise to say our prayers morning and night. We promise to attend church and to attend group meetings. THOSE are promises we can keep, whether we act out our addiction or not. And at the end of each day, we report back to our Father in Heaven and tell him that we have kept every single one of our promises! At that point, we promise to do it all again the next day, and we plead with the Father to draw nearer to us and to "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

So, you see, my opinion is that we don't kneel down and say, "I will quit my addiction." Instead we say, "Only you can remove this addiction from me. Meanwhile, I will do what I CAN do." And then we do it.

Therenow, I don't know who you are, but I know Heavenly Father loves you and your struggling children. Make promises to him that you can keep, and do everything you CAN to draw nearer to him, and he WILL draw nearer to you. I promise. And every time you fall, get back up, and keep going!"
posted at 12:04:10 on August 10, 2010 by BeClean


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"Man has a dual nature; one, related to the earthly or animal life; the other, akin to the divine. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life"

— David O. McKay