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How do you prepare children to run from pornography?
By enough
8/9/2010 9:21:54 PM
I've been reading the blogs tonight. I have such sad/ concerned/ mixed feelings. It would seem most have been exposed to pornography as children. 8..10, 12 years of age.

What could your parents have done to prevent this? How do you educate an 8,9,10 year old about the dangers of pornography? It is obvious that they need it. We can talk about making good choices in music. We can talk about what to do if something pops up on the computer that would not be appropriate. We educate about our bodies being special. But how deep do we need to go?

I have read the books, but they vary and I am truly wanting your opinions. I have asked my own husband/addict this, but I don't think he truly knows. His first exposure was at 12-13 and they were his brother's magazines. He wasn't raised LDS.

Is there anything your parents could have done for you or educated you on that would of been helped you stop looking, etc when you were younger? Is there something you wish they would have done or told you?

I would be grateful for insight.

Comments:

Parents connect whole heartedly with kids to know when something is troubling the poor soul    
"If my parents knew me better, spent more time with me, asking me about my feelings, knowing me intimately that would have changed everything. I firmly believe that if I am being a real dad in spending all the time possible then I will know them and their emotions. I would know when there is dishonesty, covering guilt, I would KNOW there is something to fix and as a patriarch I could have the help of the spirit to get to the bottom of it quick and fast.

I do not know if everyone will be exposed to it but I best be prepared and plan ahead like you are now."
posted at 11:09:18 on August 10, 2010 by ruggaexpat
My parents are amazing    
"I was blessed with goodly parents. They are marvelous, faithful, understanding, forgiving, intelligent, loving, etc. I know that whenever they made any significant decision in their life, they were thinking about their children. They taught me the gospel by word and example. They are still together, and they are still amazing.

Did they make mistakes? Sure. Could they have prevented me from making mistakes? Absolutely not. Did they teach me where to turn once I had made mistakes? YES.

That is the most important thing my parents could do for me, and they did it. They taught me the gospel of faith in Jesus Christ and repentance.

My parents could NOT shelter me from the world or from sins. Everyone sins. Lehi had Laman and Lemuel. Alma the elder had Alma the younger. Alma the younger had Corianton. Adam had Cain. Jacob/Israel had several disobedient sons. Elohim had Lucifer. Are we better than these parents?

Unfortunately, our children will make mistakes, just like the children mentioned above. Our children will sin and serve Satan. We have all done it. In part, that is what this life is for. But our children need to know they have a Savior and Redeemer and a loving Heavenly Father who wants them back, no matter what they have done. If they learn that from you, and they see it in your life, they will be protected.

Now, specifically, what could my parents have done? As a pre-teen, I viewed pornography at a friend's house. Sometimes, my parents knew I was at that friend's house, sometimes I told them I was somewhere else. If my parents had followed up (audited, perhaps) with my friends' parents to make sure I was where I said I was, and if my parents had enforced their rule to not let me visit a friend's house whose parents weren't home, PERHAPS my addiction would have developed more slowly. Perhaps I wouldn't have made some of the mistakes I made. However, I can't even guarantee that would be the case. It's also possible that if my parents had tried to control my life to a stronger degree, I would have rebelled and committed even graver sins.

In summary, my thought is that we simply encourage our children to learn of God and keep his commandments, but we prepare them for the definite reality that they WILL sin, and they WILL need the atonement. We teach them what a glorious, marvelous thing the atonement is. For through it, we can be clean from our mistakes, and we can return to our Heavenly Father."
posted at 12:20:41 on August 10, 2010 by BeClean
Interesting question,    
"In my case as a young boy, hard core pornography was never a problem. The problem was lusting after women who had any amount of skin exposed or wore tight clothing. The number of places you can find women like that is almost infinite: at school, at church, in virtually every clothing magazine, on virtually every channel on TV, at the beach, at the pool, etc...

Luckily, my parents did a great job of telling me not to masturbate and not to look at pornography, but that may not have been the best idea. What do you think would happen if you tell your children not to put beans in their nose?

Yep, you guessed it. After hearing that I wasn't supposed to masturbate or look at pornography, I got really curious and just had to try it out. The good news is that at least I knew it was wrong so I eventually got around to telling my parents.

Sadly enough, the only thing I wish had been different about the whole situation is that my parents would have been a little bit cooler about my curious experimentation. They really let me have it, and that caused me to resent them and their rules. After that, I went about ten years without letting them know I was still having problems.

In my case, I don't think there was much my parents could have done to prevent the problem; however, they probably could have done more to manage the problem. I really feel like I would be addicted to masturbation and lust even if I had grown up in an Amish community and family, but that's just my opinion.

Oh yeah, here's an extremely helpful hint,

DON"T GIVE YOUR CHILDREN UNSUPERVISED ACCESS TO THE INTERNET!!!

I can only imagine how far I would have gone if I had had access to the internet as a young teenager.

Best of luck to you, ENOUGH. The fact that you actually care is a great sign."
posted at 15:10:29 on August 10, 2010 by ETTE
What I will do that my parents didn't    
"Yes, our children will make mistakes, that is inevitable, however this is one that MUST be avoided. I will do all I can to explain how destructive this will be, not only to them, but to their loved ones. I would like to explain how it has destroyed the one precious thing in my life.

I can't help but think that those out there that have not given in to this temptation did so because they had a clear knowledge that pornography is evil and that knowledge kept them away from it from the beginning. If any good can come from my experience it is that I will not avoid the topic of pornography with my children like my parents did."
posted at 15:57:12 on August 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Raising up a family unto the Lord    
"by Gene R. Cook, is an amazing book that has changed the way I parent. If our children are taught as young children to have a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father and taught to recognize and be guided by the Spirit, everything should be ok. He says that we can help save all OUR CHILDREN!!! It has happened in different societies, such as in the city of Enoch, or especially in the Nephite society after Christ appeared to them. The book or cds are amazing!!!!!!! They made so much sense to me and I felt it was an answer to my prayer. Children do not have to make certain mistakes.

crushed"
posted at 20:20:29 on August 10, 2010 by Anonymous
Let talk about the Elephant standing in the middle of the room.    
"There is a new book in the Deseret Book Catalog entitled "Let's Talk About the Elephant that is Standing in the middle of the Room" It is about teaching our children about the evil and destructive influences of Pornography. The Title of that book was inspired from a saying in the book "He Restoreth My Soul" by Dr./Brother Hilton. That book is the standard about the church wide epidemic of Pornography. It is everywhere. Pres. Hinckley once said that the days in which we live are just as bad, if not worse then the days of Sodom and Gomorrah.

How do you protect your sons when 100% of them have been exposed to it before the age of 12. There is a billboard on a major highway here the advertises an adult video store and portrays a nude silhouette in the position of a dog. It leaves nothing to the imagination and is designed to create intrigue. I saw this sign yesterday and have been thinking that if I do not get involved in the community to have this sign taken down, then I AM PART OF THE PROBLEM!

We are at war, both in the church and in our community. Satan is at war with the Lord's Covenant People. The battle plan is being laid out and our leaders are rallying us to the battle cry. Those of us who are strong in recovery are summoned to step forth and get involved. Many of our current Priesthood leaders have not caught hold of the enormity of the battle.

Check out this site: http://www.pandorashope.com/ Parental Control help

Check out this site: http://www.lightedcandle.org/r/ Getting involved in the community.

To show you how devastating this problem is in our Ward, we have not had an Aaronic Priesthood holder at the Sacrament Table in over a year. This is no exaggeration. 100% of our Aaronic Priesthood is inactive. Several of our Young Adult men are not able to be up there either. This is scary stuff brothers and sisters. I am not sure if we completely understand on how to deal with this."
posted at 21:14:09 on August 10, 2010 by migail3


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"One of the false notions of our society is that we are victims of our appetites and passions. But the truth is that the body is controlled by the spirit which inhabits it."

— Terrance D. Olson

“Teaching Morality to Your Children,” Ensign, Mar. 1981