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Self-Esteem
By summer
8/5/2010 6:34:41 AM
Ok…I don’t really have any. And it’s becoming a huge problem in our marriage. I’m constantly comparing myself to other women and coming up short…I don’t know how to stop this. In my mind I think…”if only I looked like that”. I am so focused on my physical flaws it causes more depression (and that’s the last thing my marriage needs). My husband blames himself for this…because of this addiction to looking at pretty much physically flawless people. Honestly I do not blame him for the way I feel about myself. I leaned on my husband for everything…I craved his approval (I still do). I wasn’t much of a real person; I lived and didn’t really think for myself. In my mind if my husband thought I was worth being with, then that was good enough for me. He told me I was pretty…I didn’t think I was pretty…but he thought it, so I was a happy person. It’s been a hard road to figure out…how do you start to find self worth, at this stage in the game? Prior to our pornography problem…I really was a happy person, I really didn’t think much of myself…so I can’t be sure if I had a self-esteem or not. But now I know I don’t. I once told my husband if he ever had a pornography problem I would leave him…I wish with every fiber of my being I wouldn’t have said that, the reason I did say it is I believed it was utterly impossible to have happen. Once it came to my attention this was a problem in my life…I allowed it to continue, my worth as a woman did not continue. My family’s safety bubble popped. The naive woman I was is gone, but this super sad person I am now…is no fun at all.

I struggle with seeing beautiful women, I feel so bad for my husband that I don’t look like that. It is so extreme that when I see a pretty person my heart drops. I try to keep up the normal…but my husband is one of those who has a really good radar about when something is wrong (he is a very sensitive, sweet person). He says he doesn’t think of me like that…and that he is fine with my imperfections. But I wanted to be thought of like that. It’s hard to erase the images I’ve seen (from back when my husband was activity involved in inappropriate things)…I compare myself to those people…and I don’t look anything like them…I am physically flawed, they are not. Some say they don’t compare their wife’s to the women the like to look at. But I have some memories I would love to erase…my husband asked me to make a few (relatively small) physical changes to myself…Ideas I know came from his addiction. He is a much better man now, and I really don’t think he compares me anymore to those images. But now the problem is I do. It’s like we swapped places…and I don’t like it!

My goal is to focus on my inside…cause let’s be honest worldly beauty doesn’t last anyway. So I need to figure out how I can be the best person I can be.

Does anyone have any tips on how to regain some self worth? How I can maybe stop comparing myself to everyone? My husband deserves so much better than this depressed person, who is having a hard time living in this world.

Comments:

You are an amazing person Summer    
"Summer,

I read your post and I am amazed at the forgiveness you have given your husband. Despite the challenges that were brought into your marriage from your husbands addiction you still express love for him and point out his good attributes that he has. For you to be so forgiving while you are in this struggle is even more amazing. Your husband is blessed to be married to you. Just as you have and are helping him through trials in his life, if possible allow him to help you. Your post reminds me of the damage I have caused in my marriage and strengthens my desire to stay in recovery. I am so sorry this has happened in your marriage too.

My wife is a beautiful person. She had similar struggles that you describe. I'm working through recovery and slowly our marriage is healing. I asked her last Saturday if she was still angry at me. A few years ago she was very angry--and rightly so. But in more recent months she is not that way anymore. I asked he what had changed. She said two things that stand out to me 1) I decided that who you are does not have to define me. 2) I decided that despite your addiction you are a good person. Summer I really believe over time you are going to heal. Continue to pray. Seek the atonement. Seek the Lord's help. As you are ready allow your husband to support you as you supported him.

Best wishes to you,
Jim"
posted at 07:37:10 on August 5, 2010 by Seekrecovery
Thank you Jim    
"Thank you so much for your thoughtful response to my post! Your situation gives me much hope.

This is uncharted territory for me and my husband. We both don’t know what to do next. I am extremely delicate right now…and cry very easily. It really freaks my husband out when I cry…that’s usually when he exits. It’s too much for him to see the pain in me….and I actually try really hard to hide that…I certainly don’t want to hurt him. He is a good man that has made huge improvements in his life. But I still don’t fully trust him…it’s really been hard for me to get that back. I feel I need to somehow re-get to know him...there was so much in his life that was a secret. I’m obviously a confused mess!

I am ready to have my husband support me in my recovery...I have always wanted him by my side. But…how do I be more approachable? I could really use him…sometimes I just want to be held so bad."
posted at 08:47:46 on August 5, 2010 by summer
Hey Summer    
"First of all your site name means a great deal (life, hope, light, warmth) and in my book you are a bright ray of sunshine (like my beautiful wife) on this website, I got a ton of good advice from you and I pray that you will heal.
I have no idea if this will help but here goes:
Self esteem is a tough one to give any worthwhile advice on so I will just share my experience of the struggle I have had and what I have learned. Step 4 was a Godsend process for me. I did some serious reflections and took it very seriously. I am sure I am not done because in my opinion step 4 never ends and that self evaluation and inventory is a life long habit (or should be for me). I know we hear it all the time but it is the base for all of my confidence, I am a child of God and that means I have divine DNA flowing through my soul. That divinity is the most precious and valuable element in my makeup.
My self confidence is all centerd in my covernants and relationship with Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. Take them away where I am left to myself and I become weak. I am setting goals one day at a time. As I achieve them with the help of the Godhead, MY CONFIDENCE AND FAITH IN THEM GROWS AND MY CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF GROWS as a result. That to me is a true divine realtionship and I promise I can see it happening now as I write and realize this. Cool stuff!

Anyway, I guess mathematically speaking my self confidence is a funcition of God's confidence over time.

Time is important so the Lord will undoubtably be teaching us both patience, I know he is with me.

Goals are important - Just takes me a lot of discipline and work to achieve them

Faith in God and our divine worth as his children

Now how easy is that to believe after what you and my wife have been through (doubts over physical appearance), impossible I suppose. I would hate to be in your guys' position. Allow me to speak as a recovering addict. In the reality that I live in 24/7 nowdays, I can sense truth. I love truth, it is liberating, no need to escape it in a fantasy world of digitally modified objects.
To just hear my wife's voice makes me happy just to know she is with me.

Anyway hang in there sister, your divinity is alreay piercing through those dark clouds of doubt."
posted at 09:56:26 on August 5, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Summer,    
"I think that we tend to compare ourselves to what we "see". We tend to see the best in others and compare it to the worst in ourselves. True and lasting beauty comes from within. It really is true. And it is so obvious to me that you possess this.

When you find out your husband has a pornography problem, there is a very real reaction for many women to question their own worth and what beauty they saw in themselves goes into the toilet. Please know you may not only be fighting your own personal feelings of worth, but a reaction that many have when faced with their husband's "activities". I am sure you know this. I've read a few of your blogs.

I think you are just entering another layer of healing. And you will. Consider this a loving reminder that you are not alone."
posted at 10:00:10 on August 5, 2010 by Enough
Summer Read Angelmom's "our deepest fear" a few posts down    
"I just did and kind of slams home what I was trying to add here.
It is really good stuff for all of us who need confidence injection."
posted at 10:34:48 on August 5, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Summer,    
"I wouldn't care if you looked like Winston Churchill, I'd marry you! You've got what counts on the inside!"
posted at 12:10:22 on August 5, 2010 by Anonymous
The roaring tornado    
"Tonight I was reading from the big book and a paragraph hit home. Summer I thought of your post today.

"THe alcoholic [addict] is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits ahve kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife he remarked, "Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin'?"...Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead"

Summer perhaps the greatest tragedy of addiction is the collateral damage that occurs. Unfortunately the addict does not just affect himself (or herself) but many others. "The Reconstruction" is not just for the addict but for the whole farm (going back to the analogy). Reconstruction is a good word--the process takes time and requires resources. The key to reconstruction is explained further in the chapter "So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love." Summer you are a daughter of God. He will help you. You mentioned that this is uncharted territory for you and your husband. I know that as an addict I stumbled around in darkness for so long. For me going to 12 step meetings and learning for those in recovery have helped me find the path to recovery. The path is not one that can be taken alone--I realize now that for a long time I was trying to do it on my own. I needed God and I needed my brothers and sisters in recovery. Not just those in my group--but those on this website--and those that have written the books that teach about the 12 steps. They have been great resources.

Summer you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jim"
posted at 23:14:58 on August 5, 2010 by Seekrecovery
Thank you!!    
"Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post.

Ruggaexapt- Your attitude is amazing. I’m with you on the whole I’m a daughter of God thing. I actually see his hand in my life with many tender mercies. But being a mother…I know what unconditional love is. And even if one of my children was horribly messed up…I would still love them…and I would try my hardest to lighten their load anyway that I can. Heavenly Father does love me…but I do not love myself. Since this has mess has entered into our lives…I have had to get on prescription medicine to get through it…I am going through a medication change, hopefully that will help.
You have tremendous mercy toward your wife. I am so impressed that you are just happy hearing her voice. How beautiful is that! I hope to someday get to that point with my husband. I really want to make this work…I love him…I really, really do!
Angel did have a really good post…Thanks for directing me that way.
Thanks!!


Enough-
I totally agree…I take the worst of myself and compare it to the best in others. My head knows that true beauty comes from within…but it sure would be nice to have both. You hit it right on…I am fighting this on a few fronts, my own personal feelings of worth and my reaction to my husband’s problem. Another thing you said really hit home to me…I might be entering into another layer of healing. Denial is gone, Bargaining is gone, I think that anger is gone (I haven’t been angry in a quite a while). Maybe I have entered into the depression phase. I have been depressed from day one…but this is the first time it is almost my sole emotion. Oh I hope this doesn’t last too long. I don’t know how much longer my husband can take a crier. He is not use to having a sad wife…for the majority of my life I was a silly, giggly, happy person. I think he fears that person is gone. I hope I can find her.
I wish you weren’t in the same situation as me. It hurts me to know another Sister has to go through this pain. You are not alone either!
Thank you!!

Anonymous-
You’re funny! The world needs people like you.
Thanks for commenting!!


Jim-
You have been so kind to me.
The roaring tornado…I wish it wasn’t true…but it is. It’s hard for my husband to see where the problem is…he’s being good now, so why is his wife not happy. My husband doesn’t know any other addicts…and he feels the 12 step support group wouldn’t be any good to him. He hates dwelling on the negative…I totally see his point. I hate living the negative. My husband says that I like to dwell on the negative things; I wish he knew I HATE being stuck in this phase. But I really am stuck. I hope that I can find a way out of this. It’s hard because I kinda have to do it and pretend I’m not hurting. Hurting=Negative in this house. Another thing my husband believes is that I would be happy without him…Not so. I have to go through this process with our without him. This happened in my family’s life…I have to deal with it regardless of standing alone or standing with my husband. I really hope that my husband can accept me for who I am right now. But it hurts him so badly. It’s a rough situation.
Thank you so much for your words…they are very helpful to me!!"
posted at 08:58:57 on August 6, 2010 by summer
Your husband    
"Summer,
I just have to write again as I read your comments about your husbands view on addiction. I think a woman like you has a natural gift in feeling and that mothers intuition is significant and a gift from God. Trust it no matter what. Don't second guess yourself on the addiction matter NO MATTER HOW CONFIDENT YOUR HUSBAND IS. He may be OK now but this is a real disease like no other.

I may offend people here but I wish to offer my opinion on a few things.

I am sure I am not in a position to judge anyone nevermind your husband and I will put my head on the block here and say that there is no way an addict can get by this hell (emotional, spiritual, physical and mental) without the 12 steps program. I testify by its power. There is no way any addict can get through long term without support of recovering addicts and in many cases such as mine a therapist. You may reacte strongly to this and others might too but YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO BE HEARING FROM US NOT YOU! You should be free of this garbage, such a sweet and loving soul as yourself needs to feel safe by seeing your husband DO WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. That is so unfair on you. Man my heart goes out to you. If your husband claims that he hates dwelling on the negative, is he really allowing you to dwell on the positive? Surely and surely he can see that it is his negativity that has intoxicated your life? It is incredible that you can be so unforgiving and supportive of us all. You will probably only be unstuck when you see your husband take you by the hand and say I am ready to recover your way according to your boundaries and then back it up with action. That is the least any addict can do for a hurt and devastated loved one and I mean that.

I am not struggling with the addiction but with the fundamental problems that led to the addiction. I needed so much help to get into my subconscieous thought processes to uncover the hurt and pain I felt from years ago. As I am working through those emotions and abnormal thought processes I am able to "let go" but the point is that they were so deep and covered that I needed outside help and support. My wife has come with me to every meeting (12 steps and theraphy" and I love her for that support. It was not her idea to go there it was mine. As she started to go she has received the necessary help to heal too. Point is we do it as a partnership who are on the same page and supporting each other as best we can. That is why I am able to learn and grow out of this mess with the help of the Lord.
I will keep you in my prayers

Rugga"
posted at 10:13:59 on August 6, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Dear Summer    
"I can only tell you , I know exactly how you feel. All the comments that my husband ever made about my body comes to my mind and they are like daggers. It's like I can not help comparing myself and I hate it!!!! And am angry about it. The whole thing made me realize how alone I really am, and how I can not depend on another human being for my happiness. The cinderella story of a charming prince to rescue me is gone by the window. He looked like a prince, but after the wedding and the kiss , he turned out to be a pig :). I have to trust Heavenly Father that he can help me rebuild my self-esteem, my husband did not love and appreciate me the way he need to. I have to take the power out of his hand, he does no longer decide whether I am attractive or not. It is I and Heavenly Father who decide from now on. This decision and my therapy has really helped me to see all the good in me and love and appreciate myself. I have not met you, but I KNOW YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! YOU are a STRONG BEautiful daughter of our Heavenly Father and he created you that way and loves everything about you. Furthermore your spirit shines, even through your posts. The Lord knew you were strong enough to go trough this trial and that you would come out refined like he wants you to be. Not every women will go through such a trial as this, it takes an extremely faithful and strong women to survive this, and you will, and you are. Keep your head up and believe in yourself, believe in your Heavenly Father. Give yourself what your husband could not give you. Love yourself more, you deserve it for all you have gone through.

Take care
Crushed"
posted at 13:51:11 on August 8, 2010 by Anonymous
Dear Summer and other supporting spouses    
".I haven't been on this website long. Lol in fact I just joined today. Howeve, I know the things I have read ferom Summer and others are similar to what I have heard my wife tell me. I am no stranger to addiction in general. I think mny times in the church we are sheltered from it. I am a convert and was raised in AA by my alcoholic mother. This persecutive has allowed me to see a unique angle of this disease that perhaps others have not. I don't want to defend anyones depravity, or give anyone an excuse for participating in the filth that this disease can and does sometimes bring. However, something I told my wife a long time ago and till hold to today. It's not that she isn't enough, it's not that she isn't pretty enough or sexy enough or whatever. It's a drug like any other. Looking at pornography releases chemicals in our brains that dulls the pain of life. Those chemicals trick us into thinking we feel good, maybe even for a brief time making us feel good. The problem is its counterfeit, just like drugs the. High only goes so high and then crashes down. For every person i believe it starts as something unique to them. I can't speak to your husband, possibly curiosity, who knows. But the high is what keeps an addict coming back. Not so much the actual drug or in this instance the porn. For me many times lust isn't even part of the equation when i relapse until I'm knee deep in it. That's satins trick, he hooks you with the high and then stirs the natural man and the two feed each other down to hell. At any point in the cycle one can stop but it's in the early stages that it's easiest. I'm rambling now... I hope some of this makes sense to someone. Can help someone, the main point i had is that it's not about the hot girls or w/e. It's about stimulation and bringing about the chemical reaction. Once you feel it, once you have had it your mind and body crave it, and so you go back to the source. In recovery we learn to break the cycle, use real happiness and real joy to fill our empty hearts and heal our pain. So try not to focus on the drug but the disease. He's not doing it because there is something wrong with you, but something is wrong with him. Same as me and same as any addict. YOU ARE NOT TNE PROBLEM WE ARE!! Nothing you can do or change can make it go away. Only our desires and our willingness to face our disease. And then with the healing power of Jesus Christ and support of loving spouses and family we can heal.

Another caution, please avoid the temptation to compare yourself to these vile and disgusting objects in pornographic material. These are men and women who have chosen to sell their virtue and in so doing have brought all those who look upon it down with them. They too are chiodren of God and deserve our love and compassion, but they are not examples to hold yourselves to. Again it is a sickness that any of u s should have desires for them over the righteous women in Zion. Don't allow Satan to win twice, once by bringing us down into his filth and again by bringing our loved ones down as well by making them feel inferior. YOU ARE NOT!!! You are all amazing and deserve the men you married at their best, free of this disease and treating you as the Queens you truely are."
posted at 22:31:37 on August 18, 2010 by Tjditch
tjditch,    
"Welcome! And those were some very good points you maded. Thank you!"
posted at 10:17:51 on August 19, 2010 by Anonymous
Summer, Enough, Be your own Hero!    
"I am sure you have most likely heard this before. You did not cause it, you cannot control it, and you definitely cannot cure it.... HIS ADDICTION... Do not let the adversary pull you down with his lies. You are beautiful and attractive and desirable, smart and all the worthy adjectives that describes a Daughter of God. Your husband was most likely addicted before you ever met him and he would have been in this position no matter who he married. The images he looks at are not real either, they are airbrushed enhanced and every other deceitful trick Satan uses. Your husband is the problem not you. Oh yes, believe me I know, you are suffering form the effects of an atomic bomb imploding in you soul, and the fall out that follows. Your life feels like total destruction, emotionally, physically, spiritually. There is medicine, help and knowledge to heal. But you, can only heal yourself with the help of Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost to Guide you. Not DRIVE you. It is alot of work and takes courage and confidence. Your Heavenly Father will not let you down, He loves his Daughters and our Husbands should sit up and take notice how their Heavenly Father- in -Law may feel about them. Yes he love them they are His sons, but He loves his favorite Daughters very much and expects them to be treated the way any Father wants his daughters to be treated. And He sets boundaries and consequences.(commandments) Use the resources that have been put into place by our leaders who are inspired. ARP or PASAG for spouses or the Family Support Group or phone groups, what ever is in your area. Ask for priesthood blessings. And your husband if he loves you and not the addiction will do the same. Pride is the tool of the devil and his angles. Believe behavior because addicts lie. They even believe their own lies because the truth hurts them also. Learn about boundaries and set them and enforce the consequences. Boundaries will help you rebuild trust and help you feel safe. Men love what they protect. Let me repeat. MEN LOVE WHAT THEY PROTECT. If he is protecting you by telling the truth, going to recovery meetings, meeting with his Priesthood leaders, reading scriptures and recovery materials, making a friend in recovery ( sponsor ), praying with you and for himself then he most likely loves you. If he is not then he is protecting the addiction. I learned that no one one was going to help me but me. I remembered who I was created to be. Changes i made in my life are forming seeds which produce fruit. I can have a beautiful life. My Goals and my life are integrated. I am an advocate for myself. I am learning how to live life abundantly how our Father in Heaven planned for us. I am still working through the issues of the past, but my recovery means me getting my life back. I have grown to know myself better and have a greater value for myself you will too. My husband and I are still married after a year from discovery. Husbands, Discovery is so much harder for your spouse to recover from. This is a hard road for any spouse but discovery makes the journey rougher and longer. Be honest, it is the kindest thing you can do for your, other than responsible recovery. Your spouse she is the angel in your life and she support you in recovery as your support her. My love and prayers go to all of you.
I will get off my soap box. Thanks for letting me vent."
posted at 16:06:06 on August 19, 2010 by byourownhero
Thanks for venting    
"Really think you spoke truth there, it was hard to read.

Men love what they protect is an interesting phrase to ponder on.

Loved what you wrote.



Thanks"
posted at 16:32:43 on August 19, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Thank you....    
"I have been hurting tonight. Thank you for keeping me on focus. I needed it."
posted at 23:59:04 on August 19, 2010 by enough
Enough    
"Hello Enough,

I wish I could take away your pain. There will be prayers for you in my home tonight. May god bless you.

Jim"
posted at 00:09:16 on August 20, 2010 by Seekrecovery
My Jesus Box, thought for the day!    
"I wanted to share this valuable resource I used in recovery with other spouses. When your mind or heart starts spiraling down in thoughts you do not want to think or visualize or images you may have accidentally seen or communication you may have found in discovery. What ever is tormenting you! "Just write it down or say it, and either visually put it in a box.or physically deposit it in a box." Your Jesus Box" You can give it to Jesus, all the" ugly stuff " written down and deposited there for Jesus to handle. I would say, "Jesus, I cannot handle this or I do not want to think this way, or feel this way," and give it to Him. He has suffered already for us. Do not let his sacrifice be in vain. It is amazing how wonderful this tool works in our lives, "The Atonement" . He has given us this gift and paid the price, we just have to ask. Oh, and always remember to be thankful at the end of the day. For me it was multiple times during the day. LOL"
posted at 11:14:31 on August 20, 2010 by byourownhero
Thankyou for your prayers, Jim...    
"Summer, how are you doing?

Byourownhero...I appreciate your upbeat attitude. Where do you find the energy???"
posted at 00:09:10 on August 24, 2010 by enough
Enough    
"Thank you for the appreciation. I guess when you have been in the most frightening dark place filled with despair and discouragement being hounded by the dark angles and their fiery darts and feeling the pain inflicted by those wounds knowing they are becoming infected, knowing there is a cure yet somehow not following the protocol efficiently enough to received the desired relief, then finding a ointment and the hope of a cure, fills my soul with awe and wonder and gratitude and some how there is this light that starts to shine forth as you allow the Lord to take control and work His miracle. There is a CURE!! This makes me want to shout Hallelujah! and praises from the roof tops. All of us, in addiction and those of us suffering because of our love for those in addiction, need hope......... Yes, I still have puss pockets from the infection but as I continue to apply the ointment, salve of the Savior and do not miss an application, because this infection will return without carefully following the protocol, the light becomes brighter in my life and the darkness cannot stay. I have lived through many dark storms and the darkness caused by this storm has impacted my soul with unbearable devastation. I like the Light! And sharing helps me keep it. So "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!" Hope and prayers to all...."
posted at 13:13:18 on August 24, 2010 by byourownhero
Summer Summer Summer    
"I had to almost laugh and think "this chick?..noo waay." If not self esteem or confidence you radiate with positive energy and that is as attractive as anything. Hell you have dudes here saying they'd marry ya. I regress. My first thought when I read your post was of I believe it was Heber J Grant upon being called as a stake president (any church scholars can feel free to correct any details) was asked if he knew the church was true and he responded no. Well in short some higher up that was present responded that Heber knew the church was true he just didn't know that he knew. Summer, I don't believe the confidence/self esteem that we can all sense in you is a facade. Its real. Just know its there. Don't be deceived. And know its hot like pure fiya! I didn't read all the post so I'm guessing this was said but focus on what ya got. Like your energy, gangsta wit, empathy, humor, optimism (inspite of the fact you cry and stuff), bright eyes, whatever. You've heard the old study of people in wheel chairs? The sooner they except their situation and move forward the sooner they are happy. If your ugly (which I doubt you are)...so be it! Your a cool chick...at least i like think I'm a cool cat who can smell his own kind ;)"
posted at 17:31:56 on August 24, 2010 by They Speak
P.S.    
"Sorry I didn't mean to act like I have carte blanche on the self esteem advice or anything. You just seem rad and like you have a lot to be stoked on yourself about...that's all I'm sayin

Oh and (i really need to start reading the entire threads first so I can respond appropriately...sorry this is just coming based on what I just read), I think its okay to be sad...to mourn Mathew 5:4"
posted at 12:41:46 on August 25, 2010 by They Speak
New Resource    
"There is a new book available for the wives! It's called "From Heartache to Healing". It's by Colleen Harrison who is the author of "He Did Deliver Me From Bondage" and Phillip Harrison, the author of "Clean Hands Pure Heart". This book gives insights from both perspectives....the addict and the spouse. I've found it to be very beneficial! I haven't seen it in bookstores yet, but it is available from the publisher. www.windhavenpublishing.com"
posted at 12:27:25 on August 26, 2010 by Anonymous
thanks for this post    
"summer, i am sorry to hear this, but i would also like to thank you for this post. i have a problem with pornography, and i never ever want my future wife to have to feel this way. reading your post brought tears to my eyes."
posted at 18:11:41 on August 30, 2010 by kaybee
Love this Post!    
"A very good read!"
posted at 16:50:35 on October 3, 2011 by Hero


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"Just as the landfill requires dedicated work and attention, laboriously applying layer after layer of fill to reclaim the low-lying ground, our lives also require the same vigilance, continually applying layer after layer of the healing gift of repentance.…Our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, feel sorrow when we choose to remain in sin, when the gift of repentance made possible through the Atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify our lives. When we gratefully accept and use this precious gift, we can enjoy the beauty and usefulness of our lives... "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006