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Sleep Apnea
By Another_Dad
7/11/2010 11:49:46 AM
I am feeling very alone... it's 2:30am. I have been doing so well staying away from the computer. Iv'e been married 24 yrs this year. My wife seems to have decided the sleeping in another bed is better. Every time I bring the subject up I get told I snore so loud the she can't sleep. It is a problem for me and I don't know what to do. Couple of days ago my mind strayed why I Was looking for an old movie to down load and typed in the word explicit, certain things appeared on the screen, I search on R<18+>. Then I just got off the computer cos I didn't want to go down that tract again.

I went to bed and as usual it my wife was sleeping in the back room. I could not sleep so I started watching movie on TV and in the ads there were ads to download naked girls etc. I watch them the first couple if times then decided to switch stations, to yet the same sort thing. Eventually I said to myself stuff it and went to bed. I didn't do anything.

At church I made an appointment to see Bishop as I am struggling. I am feeling scare cos he said next time a start surf for porn he would take disciplinary action. but it is was not like before, I don't think. Amway I didn't take sacrament, I feel alone and scared. I have been praying some what for forgiveness. In my minds I have have been progressing very well.

We don't talk much about stuff we just go along as if nothing is wrong. I am concerned to talk about it to me wife.

Comments:

AnotherDad    
"Your story sounds so familiar. I am so glad that you are reaching out. I have been in recovery for many years now and one thing I've learned is that sleep or lack of it can really mess with an addicts emotions. Some of us are down right obssessed with sleep!:)

In my own life, my wife and I had reached the point of being like to strangers occupying the same space. Today, because of recovery, she is my best friend. She is the same person but my perspective has changed. She already WAS everything I needed. My problem was that I always compared our relationship to other ones and we never measured up in my mind. It was never HER that didn't measure up; it was my utter self-centeredness that had caused our marriage to whither and nearly die. She is my dream woman now. Those other relationships don't measure up to what we have thanks to a second chance at discovering eachother. I hope you can have a similar experience. That's how God makes weak things(addiction) strong(a new perspective)"
posted at 21:16:48 on July 12, 2010 by Anonymous
Are there second chances?    
"I have been very sad/lonely for months now, because I feel like this apnea thing is out of my control. How the hell can I stop snorring? Good news I spoke tomy wife yesterday over the phone at lunch and explained how it was effecting me. We spoke last night and she said she is sick of having sleepless nights. That's why she sleeps in the other room. To my surprise she came to bed last night and she was there this morning. We had an evening prayer (first one in) together a couple prayer. We always have family prayer etc.

I confessed to her a little while ago over the phone as I was at lunch of my commitment I made to myself. and I needed help. I don't know what to do with myself when it's time for bed and my wife is not going to be there and I can't sleep cos of the apnea thing, also I am one of those people if I am worried about something I can't sleep.

The other night was like that and I lgged into this site a worte a post. I then went back to bed and was able to sleep.

My question is Anonymous how do you stop being strangers? I have mentioned to my wife we need to put ourselves first in front of everyone and everything. We agreed to go away for a weekend in Sept as a wedding anaversary treat. I love my wife and I know she loves. I am scared to see Bishop tongiht to explain that I slipped and had a minor lack of will power.

I have been to the doctor and the evening sleep over and the Dr. told me before I did that that I had sleep apnea and he was so surprised that noone told me about this type of thing. I have been suffing for over 20+ years. He is waiting for the results, and said the next time I go in they can help me with the snorring.

Well I need to get back to work... Thanks for your comments."
posted at 22:01:55 on July 12, 2010 by Another_Dad
Be careful late at night    
"Another Dad I just wanted to say that a friend of mine in recovery had the same problem with sleep and he also sleeps alone at night.

I really do not like giving advice but I want to make a few suggestions.
stay far away from any TV and internet late at night. 2:30 am is party time for Satan. I suggest you don't even try going on this site late at night alone. Just stay in bed or take a walk but pray pray pray because I truly believe that Satan can keep us awake if we let him. Do something other than turn to a media outlet. That is asking for trouble.

If you must get on the net get a program like covenant eyes and get your wife to administer it. That is what I have and I am happy.

My wife is an integral part of my recovery, she is not a codependent but she is there for me to talk to if I need to. WHEN SHE GOES TO BED I GO TO BED. That is a boundary and yes I have also had times where I am lonely and cannot sleep but I think about the Lord and remember what he has done during the day and wake up with a new day.

Be careful brother fortify your home wisely.

God bless."
posted at 21:36:49 on July 14, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Silent Night.    
"Thanks RUGGAEXPAT I appreciate your thoughts. I actually go to bed early generally. One of the tools my sponsor and I came up with was this: if I am worried about something and can't sleep I get up and write the issue and a solution if I can and go back to bed. I have a personal goal to not to stay up and watch TV or use the computer. My wife and I are talking and praying before bed.

Need to go......Thanks again."
posted at 07:22:00 on July 15, 2010 by Another_Dad


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