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ARP Meetings and how do I label my addiction to heavy petting?
By nevergiveup
5/17/2010 4:52:15 AM
Step 1 - Action Step — Admit the problem; seek help; attend meetings
So I actually went to an ARP meeting last Thursday and I was really emotional. I think I was so emotional because I knew that although it was tough to admit that I needed that much help to overcome my inappropriate sexual behavior, it was sort of a relief. I felt like I was finally in a place where I could change because I was willing to admit my helplessness completely and find the help I need to overcome. It was a big and really important step for me. I feel like when the confession step comes and I go talk to my bishop this time, I'll actually have something to show in terms of my sincerity and progress, unlike every other time in the past. I feel really ready to move on to the next step of hope because that's seriously how I feel...hopeful :)

But I do have one sort of silly question... at the meeting, everyone goes around and says, "hi my name is so and so and I'm a (fill in the blank)" ie alcoholic, sex addict, drug addict, addicted to porn...

At the meeting I just said my name and shared my thoughts, but I don't really know what I am....someone who's addicted to heavy petting? I've never actually had sex, but do I still qualify as a sex addict? I know I have a problem because I can't seem to stop, it's been going on for 10 years with every boyfriend I've ever had, but I know just because my sins maybe aren't as severe as some other people's in the room, that doesn't mean that I don't need the same kind of help as them. I just don't know what to call it. Suggestions?

*10 days sober*

Comments:

I hate labels    
"I say, I am a son of God struggling with an addiction to pornography and masturbation. You could say any more or less detail than you want. Many just say "hi I'm Joe, and I'm an addict."

How about, "Hi I am __________ and I am a daughter of God struggling with addiction"?"
posted at 10:48:07 on May 17, 2010 by lawrence
Good call, Lawrence.    
"I like the last option. I'm not sure that everyone in the room needs to know your addiction. They don't require that in the LDSAR meetings I've been to. They can think you are struggling with food problems, or drugs, or sex, or whatever. Either way, addiction follows the same patterns and cycles, and you need just as much help as the next person."
posted at 11:41:09 on May 17, 2010 by BeClean
Thanks!    
"Thanks guys! This was super helpful!"
posted at 14:50:22 on May 17, 2010 by nevergiveup
Labels are not required:    
"I have been in the program for many years. There is no place where you have to label yourself. In the"official" script used by the facilitator, they are supposed to say that they are a recovering addict. In our area we do not even require that of our facilitators. I love Lawrence's suggestion.
The PASG division is only for those struggling with sexual addictions, in those groups everyone there has the same addiction, so further acknowledgment is not needed. Many areas have pasg groups for sisters with a s addiction, but unfortunately they are too few in number. If you are in one of those lucky areas, that might be a great option. It was hard for me to share in a regular arp group, because of the shame and secrecy of a sexual addiction. For me how could I overcome something I could not even admit to, to myself, or to a group. I love the Program giving S addicts their own venue. According to the statistics one in four groups out there is a pasg group. If you do not have a pasg group in your area, you only need a willing stake president to get one started."
posted at 13:28:34 on May 19, 2010 by harveyf
one correction    
"How about, "Hi I am __________ and I am a daughter of God RECOVERING FROM addiction"?""
posted at 14:58:50 on May 19, 2010 by lawrence
a thorn in the natural man    
"we call it addiction today...but i hold it as my oppinion that its any behavior that is detremental to your over all well being...that you do compulsivley "against your will". either way its not this or that it all lies on a continuem. some of us have let the natural man high jack our sprits almost completly and no longer have a choice in the matter and others natural man is just gonna give um a bad day but they can subject it to the will of thier own spirit and Gods....just my oppinion."
posted at 18:57:29 on May 22, 2010 by They Speak


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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006