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Hope that God "can"
By ruggaexpat
4/23/2010 2:05:48 PM
I am just writing because I just need to write and put my feelings and thoughts in front of my eyes. I could do this on paper but I guess I am in a habit using this space to write and so I will continue it. I just cannot believe that I have got myself into this mess, SO UNNECESSARY. From curiosity to hell, who would have thought? I can sit here and complain about my actions and vent about the things I did and others did to lead to this situation but I won't. I can only write about my actions but I need this piece to be one of hope.

My wife and I have had some interesting discussions ones that can make any addict feel like a loser or better yet a spiritual retard. I guess that is the best way to see myself through those years, a spiritual retard. A couple times I have had dreams where I have relapsed and woken up with the most uncomfortable feeling. I had one this week again and I swear I was so relieved to wake up and realize hey I am in reality and I am clean. There is no worse feeling in the world to feel that I have sinned again and have to face my loved ones with the bad news. There is no better feeling to awake from to know that you are still clean, you are not living in hell and the progress made is still counted in your favour. I discussed this with my therapist and he said it was my unconscious being cleaned out. I know this is right because when I was a youth and had problems with the word of wisdom, I would have the same dreams and they would scare the living daylights out of me. It was also once I decided to stop there and then with one decision, it took a complete change of friends and environment and life but I have never gone back then why not the same happen now. It can and the same sort of process is working for me now only this time this particular addiction has proved to be the real crutch in my life.

I have been wondering too, how do we measure all we can do? How do we quantify our efforts, our thoughts, and our desires? How do we measure our progress to know we are not missing anything? I know we can pray and fast and ask the Lord but when the Lord is not communicating and the spirit still seems so distant at times how do we find these answers. I think I can answer a part to this question and I believe this is true in my life. My therapist, fellow addicts and loved ones have been the God sent angels. They have been ministering in my life and clearly helped me realize what was required. However are these sources sufficient? I have not recieved inspiration from the spirit is it because I think I am doing all I can but there are things missing. I think it is also a test now, the Lord is testing my willingness to trust in him, hopefully this is the case because if I am missing soemthing significant to my repentance and recovery then I will fall.

I told my therapist yesterday what I have echoed on this site that I will never look back and fall into this sin again. He told me never say never. His reasoning was that many of his clients say the same thing but then they fall after a period of sobriety. My wife then asked him if it is possible and he said yes, so according to him never say never even though it is possible. This is just a reminder of the power this addiction has on us IF WE LET IT. As long as there is hope that I can never fall back I will carry on each day with my current mind set. Sorry if this does rub people the wrong way, if it does you may as well not read anything I post because this is the way I see things.

Tonight we tackle the 2nd step of hope and I noticed that the key principle says that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health. What does that mean, complete spiritual health? Does it mean we will be clean on and off for the most part, in other words as long as we are willing to try again and again he will consider us sinners healthy? Or does it mean what it says, God can (does not say will) restore me to the point that I will not have to relapse? I think the word “can” is significant and reminds me that it DEPENDS on the Lords time, not mine. It depends on me (attitude, faith, works, consistency, desires). It certainly is not a given but if there is possibility I need to be prepared to make it happen. IT CAN HAPPEN. To me complete means what it means, not 99,9999999% but 100% free to walk away from the smutt in our heads, on the screen, on the page etc...
I hope I have the right mindset and not just white-knuckling it. I am seeking a perfect brightness of hope from this muck!
One day and step at a time....

Comments:

In case anyone thinks that I am against going cold turkey...    
"I am not against going cold turkey, and I am extremely happy and pleased when someone is able to do it. Go for it, Ruggaexpat. Keep going.

My only worry for those who go cold turkey is that IF they ever fall, they could give up hope. They could be clean for years, think they are past all temptation, let down their guard, and sin again. At that point, Satan will tell them to give up. He will tell them they have returned to their sin and done the unforgivable. And they might believe him--and never repent.

I have been clean a long time, and I hope I never relapse. (Hope means "expect".) HOWEVER, I choose to tell myself, "BeClean, if you aren't careful, putting God first every day for the rest of your life, you WILL relapse." I talk as if a relapse is VERY possible in order to PREVENT myself from relapsing. The minute I tell myself a relapse is not going to happen, it DOES. That's just me.

And when I talk to other addicts who have recently relapsed, I know Satan is trying extra hard to tell them, "Give up. You're no good. You will NEVER get past this." That is why I always remind them, "Don't give up. Get up and go at it again. You WILL get past this, if you put God first."

But I have nothing against going cold turkey. Good for you Ruggaexpat.

PS When I say, "Put God first," I mean turn your life over to him the way Sierra's husband appears to have done in this post:

http://www.ldsar.org/ViewBlog.aspx?EntryId=6852

If we aren't doing just about everything he is doing, there's a good chance we are putting something else before God. His example, as shared by Sierra, is the best way I can think of to put God first and overcome sin. It was exactly what I've been talking about on this site for months now."
posted at 14:59:49 on April 23, 2010 by BeClean
What do you mean by cold turkey?    
"Is there any other way to do it? Taper off? Or do you mean, "Without some kind of program of recovery."

Ruggaexpat, I am so glad you are working the 12 Steps. Yes, I believe Heavenly Father CAN restore us to complete spiritual health. For me, there is a contingency. Like Beclean said, I have to do all I can do. God speaks to me through other people. I rarely have that definitive voice that is seems like other members do. It was other people who taught me how to stay clean and how to surrender to God's will. And God's will is for me to, first and foremost, stay clean and remain vigilant in my recovery. Without that, nothing else is really possible. There finally came a time in my recovery that I no longer DESIRED those evil things. That is the miracle of working the 12 Steps properly and incorporating them into my life. I'm not saying there are no temptations, but they are more like a breeze that blows through my hair and are gone. That is a far cry from the times when temptations would lead me to a painful tug-of-war that usually ended with me acting out. I just wanted to throw out some hope. Sexual sobriety is possible."
posted at 15:53:27 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
Good point, anonymous    
"You're making me think about my words, which I appreciate.

Of course, no one quits with the idea of "tapering off." But some of us have tried to quit so many times, we're tired of saying, "That's it. I'm done. Never again. I promise." After decades of saying that every month, week, or even day, we know that doesn't work for us. "Never again" is a long time, and we are tired of making promises and not keeping them.

So, instead, we say, "I won't do it today. I'm not making any promises about the future. I'm taking it one day at a time." We fully intend to never do it again, but we admit we are powerless to overcome. So, if we are powerless...it's not really up to us, is it?

Ruggaexpat is doing what I labeled "cold turkey." He is saying, "That's it. I'm done. I know I will never do it again. I must not do it again." I applaud him for doing it, and I truly hope and pray it works for him, because I hate to imagine the depression and discouragement if it ever fails. I have a different, but I think just as productive, attitude: "I am clean right now. I will be clean for the rest of today, I know I can do that much with the Lord's help. I HOPE and expect never to do it again, but I'm not making any promises. For now, I'm just going to turn myself over to the Lord completely and let him worry about all of that."

Personally, I don't think our attitudes are really all that different...except that I will probably never promise you, "Never again.""
posted at 17:43:18 on April 23, 2010 by BeClean
Starting Something New!    
"I just found this site last night and decided that this is the best place for me. I have been addicted to pornography for a while. I can remember being interested in that sort of material when I was very young, possibly around the age of five. I grew up with a mother that oil paints and has a lot of books with nudity in them, and I also grew up watching movies that had inappropriate material. I saw those things because that were not condemned in my family. At the age of 13 I saw pornography on the internet for the first time and from then on out I have really struggled. I had a girlfriend in high school for a year and a half, and I did not struggle with pornography then. Also when I went on my mission I didn't have a problem with it, but since I have been home I have struggled with keeping myself away from the internet. I will go three to six months at a time without seeing anything, and then one day, out of boredom, I will get on and get tempted by some ad that leads me little by little to the wrong places. Most of the time, I will view pornography for a day or two and then have no desire to see it for a month or more, but like a vicious cycle I seem to find myself right back to it and end up hating myself for the next few weeks. I am here because I think that it will help me overcome those times of boredom that get me stuck into the monthly routine. I hate pornography. I think that it is disgusting and I am going to do everything possible to overcome it. I hope to find help from all of you."
posted at 18:03:38 on April 23, 2010 by mike13
Be Clean    
"May I ask you a question? How long do you go between relapses? Is your mindset working for you? Are you content with relapsing once in awhile as long as you keep trying? If you are leaving the door open that you may relapse in the future aren't you just setting yourself up for failure? Why not just decide once and for all as Rggaexpat seems to have done? Do you not trust yourself? Do you not trust God that it is possible to completely heal you from this? Do you think that it is impossible to stop and never do it again? Do you believe that you can be healed, or not? Just because you have failed in the past doesn't necessarily mean you will fail again. I don't know why but when I read your posts I feel so sad for you. How depressing to think that this will always be in your life. How tiring that must be for you and for your wife. Even if the relapses get farther and farther apart you seem to believe that you'll always have them and won't commit to stopping for good. Do you believe that Christ can heal you, fully and completely, through the Atonement and you will never, ever participate or have the desire to participate in this filth again? Sorry for the mulitiple questions but your posts just make me sad.I understand that you've failed many times. I understand your reasoning and rational. It just seems like you don't fully grasp the power of the Atonement. I hope this doesn't sound like an attack. Just something to think about."
posted at 19:20:10 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
To the last anonymous poster...    
"Addicts in recovery never say never. It has nothing to do with not fully grasping the Atonement. You must be a spouse or an addict that has no recovery program yet."
posted at 20:01:32 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
.    
"Addicts in recovery know that through grace we can be restored to complete spiritual health but at the same time, we know we will always have a susceptibility towards active addiction. Yes, we will be addicts for the rest of our lives. Alcoholics say that once you're a pickle, you can't go back to being a cucumber. If you are not an addict you just won't understand that."
posted at 20:05:27 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
Not all    
"Not all addicts take the "I'm leaving the possiblity open for relapses" stance. Some addicts DO say never again. Read Ruggaexpats posts if you don't believe me. Always having a susceptibility to addiction is not the same as saying "I"ll keep trying even though I know eventually I will probably relapse." All I'm saying is why not say "I will keep trying because I don't EVER want to relapse again." Of course addicts will always have to be watchful. I just don't believe that failure is a given."
posted at 20:17:11 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
Also,    
"In Becleans previous posts he states that it sounds to prideful to him to say he's stopping for good. In my opinion, to stop for good takes the ultimate humility. Not pride. You have to humble yourself to the depths of humility to be willing to do anything to stop for good. Not to stop until you cant take it anymore and you give in. Not to stop for three months or a year. But to stop for good. I guess I'm just an optimist but I think it's possible. Anything else would just be unbearable to me. I have to believe it can be gone for good. And I do. I believe with my whole heart and it fills me with joy and peace. This addiction can be gone from my life forever and nobody can convince me otherwise."
posted at 20:21:59 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
You don't get it    
"!"
posted at 20:50:21 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
Read the churches Guide to Addiction Recovery    
"Maybe that will shine some light on what recovery from addiction is like. Refusing to say "never" isn't keeping the door open for relapse. It is admitting that addiction is bigger and stronger than I ever will be and that if I let up on my program down the road I will probably relapse. The whole point is that we only have control over our recovery TODAY!!! We have NO idea what is going to happen tomorrow. To people who say never again, I cringe because I know that sooner or later they will probably relapse."
posted at 20:55:51 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
This is what I get    
"I understand all too well about addiction. I just refuse to let Satan whisper in my ear that there will always be relapses. What is so horrible about wanting to stop for good? I know people that have done it so I know it's not impossible."
posted at 20:56:08 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
,    
"We all want to stop for good. Why is so important to say "I'm never going to do this again"? Satan is the one who whispers, "You have within you the strength to never do this again. You are stronger than this addiction. You've got this!"
We don't "have this". If our lives in addiction have taught us anything it's that we are completely powerless over this addiction and that our lives have become completely unmanageable. This is the First Step. Without it as our foundation our pride remains an obstacle. Step One is the only Step that must be done perfectly."
posted at 21:02:22 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
Steps One through Three    
"The first three steps tear down our walls of pride so that God can step in and restore us to spiritual health. Saying "I will never do this again" is having too much confidence in ourself and forgetting where our strength comes from."
posted at 21:05:55 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
and...    
"I am not defending everything beclean says. Personally, I think he asks too many of the wrong questions for a newcomer but he HAS made quite a few decent observations."
posted at 21:09:09 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
May I add something?    
"May I add something to what the other anonymous posters have said? The mind is a powerful weapon for good and for evil. There are many documented instances where someone believes so strongly they are ill that they actually have physical symptoms. The mind also has the power to heal illness. Why then, if that is true, is it not possible to "make up your mind" one way or the other. This is just something I've been thinking about. If there is a way to believe something so strongly (like that you'll never relapse again) and just by that power it becomes real. Maybe that is what faith is. You have to believe first and foremost that it is possible or else you're right, you probably will fail. When I read Ruggaexpats posts I don't cringe and expect failure from him. I think that he is in the process of training his brain to believe that he is done with pornography and I say well done!"
posted at 21:09:43 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
I believe with Jesus all things are possible    
"I Think that it is absolutely possible to stop without relapse at this one condition, as many of you have stated, if you are completely and truly ready to put everything at the altar. To hold on to the SAVIOR's hand as tightly as you can with everything you've got, every single day. To be ready to give our whole heart. I believe that some people are ready because it's their time and others may not completely be ready yet. Because I know that when we have completely given ourselves up to the Savior, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE and HE will fight our battles!!! He really will!!! "
posted at 22:36:41 on April 23, 2010 by Anonymous
I'll do whatever it takes to find the savior    
"I got back from the 12 step meeting today and it was great.The discussion was on hope and so I just want to follow on what has already been said. Hope is essential and without it we cannot make it to step 3 where we are willing to put everything on the alter and give our hearts to the Savior. There is no doubt that we all want to do that and I am happy to follow in your footsteps. I have recieved so much hope from many of you. Beclean there is so much hope in your posts. You are a lot more familiar to this process than I am so I want to learn what I can from you and anyone else. I just want to get rid of this misery in my life once and for all. I hope for it, I pray for it and I am willing to do anything for it.

I know that with Christ anything is possible and I trust him."
posted at 22:51:45 on April 23, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Here comes a long one from BeClean    
"Wow. I step away from the computer for three hours, and this is what happens...

I really wish you all would start using names other than "Anonymous," so I can refer to you. I don't know who you are anyway. If you haven't registered with the site, please do.

To the ANONYMOUS who asked me a question...or 11 questions:
>May I ask you a question? >Yes. Always. I cannot be offended. I hope my answers make sense and help someone. And I hope you will not be offended by my answers. I will ask you a couple questions, too, if I may. They will be in asterisks (**). Mostly, I just want to ask you the same questions about whatever sin you are struggling with. If I don't ask you the same question you asked me, I suggest you ask it to yourself and see what the answer is. Maybe that will shed some light on my mindset.

>How long do you go between relapses? >I don't exactly know. See "Who's Counting?" http://www.ldsar.org/ViewBlog.aspx?EntryId=5745 *What definition of "relapse" are you using?* *How long do YOU go between sins?* Unfortunately, I think I am selfish on a daily basis, and I'm trying to root that out of me in ALL its manifestations, not just lust. Let me say that I have felt really good, clean, and close to the Spirit for the better part of 3 years, and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father. I can look my bishop (or anyone else) in the eyes and say I am currently worthy of the temple, thanks be to God. If you can say that, too, I'm so happy. Temptations and tiny slip-ups (using my very strict definition) come far too often; I wish they were gone, but they keep me in constant prayer.

>Is your mindset working for you? >Absolutely.

>Are you content with relapsing once in awhile as long as you keep trying? >No, I would not be content with "relapsing once in a while". As I have said, I do not plan to relapse. However, IF I ever do, I WILL keep trying, and I will not make a promise I can't be sure to keep.

>If you are leaving the door open that you may relapse in the future aren't you just setting yourself up for failure? >I have "shut the door" on relapses more than a thousand times, LITERALLY. (I failed every time.) I didn't stay clean until I finally said, "OK, I can't do this. I'm not making any promises. God, help me. It's your deal now." If staying clean as I have is "setting myself up for failure," I'll take it. I prefer my current clean life to decades of saying "never again," only to fail the next day.

>Why not just decide once and for all as Rggaexpat seems to have done? >I HAVE decided "once and for all" to quit. A thousand times. That method obviously doesn't work for ME. Believe me when I say I am extremely pleased when it works for someone else. *Have YOU decided once and for all to stop sinning?*

>Do you not trust yourself? >Absolutely not. I trust God alone.

>Do you not trust God that it is possible to completely heal you from this? I DO trust God to heal me from this...in his time and in his way. I cannot do it. Only he can. That is why I cannot make promises that are not mine to make. If he wants to promise me, "Never again will I let you fail," then I will take him at his word. He hasn't said that to me yet. All I have heard him say is, "Keep going, endure to the end."

>Do you think that it is impossible to stop and never do it again? >No. It is possible. With God, nothing is impossible.

>Do you believe that you can be healed, or not? >YES, absolutely. I HAVE been healed from the spiritually fatal wounds inflicted by pornography. But if I'm ever stupid enough to stand in front of a bullet again, I will get shot, reopening my wound. And these days, everyone seems to be carrying a gun (i.e., there is porn EVERYWHERE). God willing, I will not reopen that wound, but it is HIS battle, not mine.

>Just because you have failed in the past doesn't necessarily mean you will fail again. I don't know why but when I read your posts I feel so sad for you. >Please don't.

>How depressing to think that this will always be in your life. >Yes, if you think about it too much. I do wish this "thorn in my flesh" were gone, but, like Paul, I now "take pleasure in my infirmities," for they keep me humble, "that the power of Christ may rest upon me," and, "when I am weak, then I am strong." (See 2 Cor. 12:7-10.)

>How tiring that must be for you and for your wife. Even if the relapses get farther and farther apart you seem to believe that you'll always have them and won't commit to stopping for good. >*Couldn't I say the exact same thing to you about whatever sins you are struggling with?* Although my wife (who participates in almost every post I write) and I can always do better at putting God first, she is very pleased with my attitude, my progress, and our spiritual life. Our marriage is stronger now than ever. I certainly HOPE I won't always have relapses, but that is up to God. I am powerless over this addiction. God is in control of my life when I put him first.

>Do you believe that Christ can heal you, fully and completely, through the Atonement and you will never, ever participate or have the desire to participate in this filth again? >Yes. I hope that has happened. I hope it has happened for Ruggaexpat. Neither of us will know if it has happened until we are dead or until the voice of God says, "You will never have this desire again."

>Sorry for the mulitiple questions but your posts just make me sad.I understand that you've failed many times. I understand your reasoning and rational. It just seems like you don't fully grasp the power of the Atonement. >*Is it possible to "fully grasp the power of the Atonement"?* I'm CERTAIN that I do not, and while God has been teaching me a great deal these past few years, I hope he will continue to teach me about the atonement for the rest of my life. *Have YOU fully grasped the power of the Atonement in your life?*

>I hope this doesn't sound like an attack. Just something to think about. >I wouldn't mind if it were an attack. But I know you are worried for me, and I am grateful. Thank you for your questions, my friend.

IN CLOSING TO YOU
Please do not be sad for me, my dear anonymous. I am currently filled with joy, peace, and God's forgiveness. I wish my wrestle with satan and selfishness came less often, but life is about trial and temptation. As long as I keep putting God first, everything will fall into place, I am sure of it. If I continue to hold to the iron rod, I know I cannot fail. I will find myself at the feet of Jesus.

But if I falter on my path, put something else before God, or let go of the rod, then I have no promise. I am NOTHING without the Lord. I NEVER want to leave his side again, and I am doing everything in MY power to stay close to him. But can I GUARANTEE that I never will slip away? No, not until I have had my calling and election made sure. I'm not sure that any of us knows what the future will hold or just how hard we will be tempted and tried. I pray to God that we will ALL remain faithful.

Love,"
posted at 00:59:43 on April 24, 2010 by BeClean
To other Anonymouses    
"To the Anonymous who wrote NOT ALL:
>Always having a susceptibility to addiction is not the same as saying "I"ll keep trying even though I know eventually I will probably relapse." All I'm saying is why not say "I will keep trying because I don't EVER want to relapse again." Of course addicts will always have to be watchful. I just don't believe that failure is a given. >I COMPLETELY agree with you. I would NEVER say or encourage anyone to say, "I'll keep trying even though I know eventually I will probably relapse." I would encourage everyone to use your other phrase, "I will keep trying because I don't EVER want to relapse again." That is my attitude. Failure is NOT a given, I agree. However, I AM NOT IN CONTROL. God is. Therefore, I will let HIM make the promises, and I will just put him first.

To the Anonymous who wrote ALSO:
>In Becleans previous posts he states that it sounds to prideful to him to say he's stopping for good. >I think you misunderstood me. When I say, "IIIII am done with this, that's enough, IIIII will never fail again," satan reminds me (and God lets him) that IIIII am nothing. IIIII have no power. God alone has the power and the glory. I will serve him and let him fight my battles. And if I lose a couple battles along the way, it will surely be because of my weaknesses as a man, but I hope to win the war with God's help, despite my imperfections. *Can YOU say that you have stopped sinning for good?* *Does it sound humble or prideful when you say, "I will never sin again"?*

>This addiction can be gone from my life forever and nobody can convince me otherwise. >I agree, it CAN be gone from your (or my) life forever. But you and I will not make it go away, no matter how much we do. God will take it from us.

To the Anonymous who wrote THIS IS WHAT I GET
>What is so horrible about wanting to stop for good? I know people that have done it so I know it's not impossible. >Nothing is horrible about wanting to stop for good. I WANT to stop for good, but I CAN'T. *Do YOU want to stop sinning for good? Can you?* The only people I know who have "stopped sinning" for good are dead. People can say they HOPE they have stopped lusting or sinning for good, but I'm not sure how you can know that unless your calling and election is sure. The people you know who have "stopped for good" have only stopped since the last time they did it. By that definition, I, too, have stopped viewing porn "for good." Like your friends, I hope I never do it again.

To the Anonymous who wrote MAY I ADD SOMETHING?
I believe the mind is an exceptionally powerful tool, given us by God. Just like our body, our mind can be used to further our will and our desires. A thorough study of the scriptures will reveal that our "will" and "desire" are EXTREMELY important. They determine whether we will serve God and give ourselves to him, which I believe is the most important decision we make in this life.

However, despite the obvious power of our mind, will, and desires, I'm sure you will agree that my mind, my will, and my desires will NEVER heal me from illness or disease, whether spiritual or physical, unless it is also GOD'S WILL. Therefore, like Paul, I can WILL that the "thorn in my flesh" be removed, but it will NOT go away if GOD wills it to stay. I want to put all my trust in the mind and arm of God, not the mind or arm of the flesh."
posted at 01:32:57 on April 24, 2010 by BeClean
And a short note!    
"Thank you all for your thoughts and concerns. I pray for you all earnestly. If I know your aliases, I pray for you individually. (I also pray for all of the anonymouses collectively) :). I wish I knew you, and I hope someday I may.

According to Lectures on Faith, three things are necessary for faith in God unto salvation. The third is "An actual knowledge that the course of life which [we are] pursuing, is according to [God's] will." Years ago, I did not have that knowledge. Today, I have it.

Though I cannot promise that I will never fail again, I can promise two things:
1) I WILL be tempted and tried, and
2) God will not let me permanently fail, so long as I put him first.
It is my sincere and humble hope that I will forever put him first and give him my all, for I am nothing without Him."
posted at 01:41:34 on April 24, 2010 by BeClean
Oops...    
"By the way, welcome Mike. Sorry for bulldozing right over your post. I really liked your post and hope to hear more from you.
Anonymous14"
posted at 01:46:44 on April 24, 2010 by Anonymous
Yes, Welcome Mike    
"Thank you for your story. It's sad that your parents would fill and endanger your life with nude pictures at such an early age. They may not have considered the terrible consequences it could have one you. Your experience shows that some addicts could claim they truly never DID make the decision to look at porn...the only decision they can make now is to fight it.

There are alcoholics whose parents introduced them to alcohol, smokers whose parents smoked, drug addicts who were crack babies. Your post makes me think we don't fully comprehend or understand anyone else's story, so we must not judge them--we just have to focus on our own repentance and encourage others to keep fighting the good fight.

Anyway, Welcome. I'm always glad to have another member of the team."
posted at 10:06:59 on April 24, 2010 by BeClean
Thanks for the post    
"Ruggaexpat, keep working! Sometimes God pulls us out of the muck, sometimes He gives us the tools to pull ourselves out. Hope is what makes the small efforts become great."
posted at 10:00:05 on April 28, 2010 by benjamin


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"I need not define your specific problem to help you overcome it. It doesn’t matter what it is. If it violates the commandments of the Lord, it comes from Satan, and the Lord can overcome all of Satan’s influence through your application of righteous principles. Please understand that the way back is not as hard as it seems to you now. Satan wants you to think that it is impossible. That is not true. The Savior gave His life so that you can completely overcome the challenges you face. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990