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Checking in
By Iwillnot
2/23/2010 11:07:03 AM
I'm at day 84. I've realized that thinking I'm over the addiction is dangerous. During the first couple of weeks you are relying so much on God and trying so hard that it is harder for the temptation to seep through. Once it's been a while, however, it's easy to become complacent. Just last night I put myself in a situation that typically leads to falling. And I did it intentionally too. Though I didn't act out again, I have lost a portion of the Spirit and need to right the ship immediately.

I am still an addict. I know that through the power of the Lord I can overcome this. But I can't take His help for granted. I need to do what I can do to stay clean.

Comments:

Hurrah!    
"Well said. Thanks for checking in. My prayers are with you, and I'm so glad you didn't fall. Well done. Stay strong; renew your determination to put God first. My wife and I renewed our promise to get up early and read scriptures together and alone just this last week. It really is easy to become "complacent" as you said. As addicts, we must not!"
posted at 11:19:11 on February 23, 2010 by BeClean
Half Way There    
"Congrats on 84 days! That is awesome. I too have been sober for an extended period of time, but I'm realizing that I'm only half way down the road to repentance. There are three parts to the 12-step program. The first is forsaking and confessing sin--what I once considered complete repentance. The second is changing your heart, and the third is maintaining that change with the "daily" behaviors that will keep you from relapsing into sin. I met with my bishop last week and he asked me to read Elder Bednar's talk "Clean Hands, Pure Heart" from the October 2007 general conference. This talk told me exactly what I needed to hear--specifically, that the first part of repentance can lead to clean hands, but that a pure heart is needed as well. Stopping the sin is one thing. Losing the desire to sin in the first place is quite another, and both are required to enter God's kingdom.

This second part, obtaining a pure heart, is the part of repentance I've never really done before--at least not to the degree necessary. It's the part that, when I was sober for 5 years at one point, I hadn't completed, and so I experienced a relapse. When Christ says "Come Unto Me" he doesn't mean "Come until you feel better and then go away again." He means "Come and stay." I know I need to turn to Christ and never turn away again. I can never, never let my guard down--not even when I've been sober for 20 years. Constant vigilance is required, but my own strength won't be enough. I can only make it by relying on the Lord, humbling myself and turning to Him, changing the behaviors and ritualizations associated with my particular weakness. (Ritualization is the conscious or unconscious decision to engage in behavior that has led to sin in the past. For example, turning on the TV late at night and flipping through channels "just to see what's on" but really looking for stimulating material, or jumping on the computer late at night to "read the news" when such behavior has led to relapses in the past.)

You're doing great, keep it up. Stay strong, trust God and let Him guide your life."
posted at 09:34:38 on February 24, 2010 by finallyfree
WoW!!    
"wow, you beat my record! My record is 83 days. Meh... But your doing great!"
posted at 15:46:18 on February 24, 2010 by Gondor44646


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" Is it possible to reclaim a life that through reckless abandon has become so strewn with garbage that it appears that the person is unforgivable? Or what about the one who is making an honest effort but has fallen back into sin so many times that he feels that there is no possible way to break the seemingly endless pattern? Or what about the person who has changed his life but just can't forgive himself?The Atonement of Jesus Christ is available to each of us. His Atonement is infinite. It applies to everyone, even you. It can clean, reclaim, and sanctify even you. That is what infinite means—total, complete, all, forever. "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006