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Relapsed...
By j89
2/15/2010 7:00:36 PM
I relapsed 3 days ago and it was quite stupid too.
I wish I hadn't but it happened.

On sunday I had a good talk with my branch president. We talked about starting the day right and we found that it was the reason for my last relapse.
I also admitted to my self and my branch president that I just can't do this anymore. I started recording my days that I was clean in december 09 and I usually reach around 2 weeks and I fail. I found that this can't be conquered by will power alone, I need the Lord's help in this.
Right now I'm starting my day with a prayer and asking my Heavenly Father for help in conquering my addiction, I just can't do it by will power and I have proved it time and time again since I recorded my days.

We also talked about the 12 steps and I finished Step 1 and working on Step 2.

I'm 3 days clean now.

Comments:

I wouldn't worry    
"I mean it sounds funny and maybe a little odd but I wouldn't worry too much. I believe in the addiction manual it states the same thing I am about to but, the more you focus on spiritual things and gospel principles and doctrine. the more your desires change and the more healing you get. I think starting the day off with the spirit is fantastic and right. It changes your focus. Also, if you are in a war and there are bombs blasting all around and you or a friend are wounded, are you gonna sit there and work on your wounds if there is a better safer place you can be? You can't quite tell what this situation is if you are right in the middle, you have to stand back mentally or emotionally or literally physically in order to do so. You know what, your will power alone will not save you, that is why we have a savior and the atonement. God knows and knew from the beginning the state of our bodies. You can use your will, the side that is inline with God's, and work with him and get his help and he can do the rest. If you think about it there is so little that we are asked to do and need to do, we just don't realize it. All of the big things happen by God's hand. But those small things that we do bring about a big change and are also the most important part. I believe in you, God and Jesus Christ believe in you too. All you have to do is believe inyour selfe and the God head and you have got it made.
You can do it. Just focus on different things. Like have you ever had a shot. I was told at a young age if I focused on a picture or something in the doctors office while I got my shot that I would not feel the pain. I did that and the pain was minimal. anyway, I am going on, but you the bottom line is, you can do it, with the lord."
posted at 19:34:42 on February 15, 2010 by maybeme
Good job!    
"I gotta say it...

Hurrah!!

J89, welcome to the site, and I'm so glad you went to your bishop so soon after relapsing. That's a hard thing to do. Satan wants you to stay away from the 12 steps, stay away from your Bishop, and stay away from here. He wants you to forget to put God first and forget to use the atonement.

You, on the other hand, have ignored those urges from Satan; you went to the Bishop, and you reported to this site. You thought about what might have gone wrong, and you learned form your mistake. You are now going to try again, and to do it better.

Hurrah! You are doing the right things. Keep it up. Next time, get on this site when you have the urge to act out. We're here for you. So is the Lord. Put Him first, and turn your life over to Him."
posted at 12:10:07 on February 17, 2010 by BeClean
You're succeeding already    
"In my mind you are successful because you keep trying. Failure is when you quit. As you keep showing the Lord you are trying (as long as there is sincere desire there to overcome the sin) He will increase your capacity.

It sounds like the two week mark is your obstacle. If you can get over that hump you will enjoy an ever stronger feeling of liberty. That would make it about the end of February. When you are feeling overwhelmed or tempted come to this site. It has helped me quite a few times and it will help you. Please keep us updated on your progress, even checking in when you get to the two week mark so we can help you."
posted at 10:17:53 on February 18, 2010 by Iwillnot
You're succeeding already    
"In my mind you are successful because you keep trying. Failure is when you quit. As you keep showing the Lord you are trying (as long as there is sincere desire there to overcome the sin) He will increase your capacity.

It sounds like the two week mark is your obstacle. If you can get over that hump you will enjoy an ever stronger feeling of liberty. That would make it about the end of February. When you are feeling overwhelmed or tempted come to this site. It has helped me quite a few times and it will help you. Please keep us updated on your progress, even checking in when you get to the two week mark so we can help you."
posted at 10:17:55 on February 18, 2010 by Iwillnot
2 weeks.    
"I'll definitely check in when I reach 2 weeks.
I'm very glad for the comments you guys leave, it gives me hope.
Thank you."
posted at 13:13:22 on February 18, 2010 by j89


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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987