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Needing some help
By Iwillnot
2/2/2010 10:44:12 AM
It's been 63 days now. Though it's been great, I'm starting to feel myself slip. I'm getting to the point where I hit bad moments of being tired or being discouraged and not wanting to resist anymore. This scares me. Though I'm fine now, I know this is how I've fallen in the past. I need to stop it now or I will end up back where I was.

I'm reading scriptures, keeping engaged with my calling, and attending the temple regularly. I'm still feeling it though. Does anybody have any advice? What have you done in this situation?

Comments:

Prayer    
"I am sure you are praying too but and just left that out, but keep that up more than ever. One thing that has helped me lately is to pray for a strong desire to have no desire at all for my temptations. That has helped me tremendously. But add one more thing to your prayer, ask for healing along with that desire. That is my thought. If you know how to avoid your temptations like the plague, DO IT!!! Avoid all the appearances of evil. You can do it, we know you can, and you know you can too, or else you would have never signed up here at LDSAR.org and you never would have written this post with hope that you can overcome and remain clean."
posted at 12:41:00 on February 2, 2010 by gettinthere
Just some thoughts    
"Iwillnot, I rejoice in your 63 days! Hurrah!

I ask, "Why are you scared?" I assume it is because you have been down this slippery road before, and you know where it leads.

But your fear indicates that you think you have to follow the road to the very end. You don't.

In fact, you have already indicated that you won't follow that same road by coming to this site. Was this website a stop on that slippery road last time you walked down it? If not, that must mean you are on a different road already. Hurrah!

What I'm saying is, you found yourself on the same slippery, scary road as before, but you don't have to walk to the end of it! Fear not! You have already turned and headed a different direction.

So, you are on a NEW road. What is on this road? What is at the end of it? You still don't know yet!

Don't be afraid, be excited. You are plotting your own course, and when danger rears its head, you will run this time. You do not have to give in this time, just because you gave in last time."
posted at 13:29:37 on February 2, 2010 by BeClean
FAST FAST FAST FAST FAST FAST...........and pray    
"You left out fasting. There is a story in the bible where the aposltes try to exorcise a evil spirit and are unable to do it. They go back to the savior, and first he tells them to have faith. At the end he throws in oh yea this type only comes out with fasting and prayer. Fasting makes our spirits grow. Fasting is the tool the savior was using when he overcame Satan. Fasting strengthens us against physical temptation. Don't be afraid to do it often when you feel weak. There are times when I fast every weekend. Fast and Pray and you will overcome yourself."
posted at 09:56:23 on February 3, 2010 by daneadams
I believe    
"I believe what you have said about fasting is true. It really helps you to kick all the selfish stuff out. I have a testimony of fasting and that it does work, I am not always quick to remember to fast but it does work.
When I was younger there was a little girl in our ward who needed surgery because she has holes in her heart. The bishop asked the whole ward to have solid 24 hour fast, 3 meals. We did, and after that she received a priesthood blessing. The little girl went to the doctor and before the operation the doctor took an x-ray to see what they were currently working with. The doctor came back a little disappointed and told the little girl there must have been a mistake, that she didn't need any surgery. Many of the holes in her hear were already healed and the rest were healing.
I truly did see this miracle and can testify to the power of fasting."
posted at 14:52:13 on February 3, 2010 by gettinthere
I loved the story and the other posts!    
"good stuff"
posted at 02:14:56 on February 4, 2010 by Anonymous
youwillnot    
"63 days! That’s really cool. Congratulations.

Ditto on the prayer thought. When I finally prayed with real faith asking Him to remove my addictive impulses, they were gone. Unwavering faith was the final key I needed. I’ve found for me it wasn’t just a one time thing, so I do it every morning now. It really works! Even my addiction to sugar was taken away, which I wasn’t thinking about when I asked. I’ve been 336 days without a full size candy bar. I decided for a while that I would still have treats on special occasions, but recently I decided to see if I could cut out treats all together. I haven’t decided if it is going to be a permanent thing, I’m seeing how it goes, but all I have had is about three waffles/pancakes in the last 59 days. That is covering Christmas, New Years and my birthday. I could have never done it without the Lord removing my addictive desires. I have tried in the past for a number of reasons, but it never stuck. I even realized after March 7th, when this first took place that I had 3 different candy stashes just to make sure I never ran out. Sugar is definitely my number 2 addiction. Btw I am also at 216 days on my sexual sobriety. Not what I would have liked, but like I mentioned I had to learn that it wasn’t a one time thing and then I could act like I was normal. I still need to get on my knees in the morning and ask for relief through His grace, and occasionally when I am being distracted by a trigger I need a midday prayer for help, but God has really removed the struggle from this addiction for me.

Another thought I had was taking it day-by-day or even moment-by-moment. I don’t know if this is really something you are struggling with. I think it is great that you are responding to the early warning signs rather than waiting until you are really in trouble, but when you mentioned that you were scared about a future relapse, it reminded me of a panic attach I had once when I wondered if I would never look at porn again. I found that I needed to just focus on the day I was in and that it reduced a lot of my stress. I started cutting the time period I was focused on down to whatever I could handle. Sometimes I was just living to make it through the next couple of hours. I often looked forward to going to bed just because that would end the day.

When you mentioned tire and discouraged it also made me think of the HALT acronym: Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. AA stresses never letting ourselves get in these situations, because they can often lead to a relapse. I found I had to do 12 Step work specifically on my anger and depression. Sometimes I would realize that I was struggling with temptation because I was tired. All I had to do to defuse the situation was get off the computer and go to bed. Rarely have I been doing anything worth staying up and risking my sobriety. Realizing at different times that I was being tempted to act out because a side issue was triggering me has been really helpful. I remember one day at work when I realized that the real problem was that I was bored. It was like a revelation to me. Instead of fighting the temptation, which I had always done before, all I had to do was find something to get busy on. The temptation disappeared.

As always, take what you like and throw out the rest. My opinion is free and darn well worth it. Keep up the good work. I’m praying for you.

PS – I just read the fasting comments. Loved them."
posted at 14:33:51 on February 4, 2010 by justjohn
MEDITATION    
"meditation is another way to overcome physical temptations. I like to sit and count my breath. This gets you relaxing and your mind focuses better. There is truth to meditation, although it is not something we teach to often in our church. Think of people who fast a lot, martial arts people, chinese priests, buddhist monks, they are the epitomie of self control. Meditation does that for them. Meditation is a form of prayer, and should be done in conjunction with prayer. You said youve been going to the temple, the temple is where I meditate the best. Count your breath till you get to 100 or 200, and then remain sitting there and focus on something (question you have, problem you have, things you would like to learn, or the symbolism of the temple) You will find the spirit will flood your mind and heart and you will learn and grow, and overcome your addiction easier."
posted at 10:04:37 on February 5, 2010 by daneadams
True    
"President Hinckley mentioned mediation and its importants in a past conference talk. I dont fully know how to do it but the prophets have suggested it too."
posted at 12:18:44 on February 5, 2010 by gettinthere
Sowing the Seeds of Lust    
"One of the things I have been working on lately is reducing the number of lustful thoughts I have. I think these thoughts are the "seeds" that get planted and later cause me to act out. I never really realized this before, but I don't think you have to picture yourself being with someone in a sexual way to be lusting after them. Just a quick glance can sometimes be enough to create attraction. So I've been trying to work on that, trying to look away from someone I consider attractive as quickly as possible and saying a prayer or thinking of a hymn. We live in a very sexualized society and it pays identify and avoid triggers as much as possible. You may have to change the way you do things, but it's worth it. If you're willing to change your behavior, it makes it that much easier for God to change your heart.

One more thing I'd like to add--from a scientific perspective, the addicted brain craves satisfaction and the "thrill" of acting out, but this craving is artificial. Over time the brain can heal and experience pleasure from simpler, more wholesome stimuli. The process of healing the body and the spirit through the power of the atonement is one of the miracles God offers us. If we exercise what little agency we have left, he can give us the strength we need to overcome sin and be made whole. I've felt the power of that promise in my own life and know you can feel it too."
posted at 16:46:29 on February 5, 2010 by finallyfree


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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990