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Help me...
By Gondor44646
1/18/2010 10:35:57 AM
Dang it... I'm having trouble. Please help me somebody...

Comments:

You there?    
"What's up?"
posted at 11:19:56 on January 18, 2010 by summer
...    
"You can do this. I'm here praying for you."
posted at 11:22:47 on January 18, 2010 by summer
...    
"Looks like I missed you. I really hope you are doing ok. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please come back and tell us how you are doing, and what we can do to help you."
posted at 11:31:39 on January 18, 2010 by summer
im here    
"..."
posted at 11:39:04 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
you need to talk?    
"..."
posted at 11:40:41 on January 18, 2010 by summer
I don't want to tell the truth...    
"I'm miserable, I'm all alone in my room. I'm tempted to give up and look at pornography."
posted at 11:42:19 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
...    
"Have you yet?"
posted at 11:43:18 on January 18, 2010 by summer
...    
"A little bit... but I can still turn away, or I could fully give in... (there should be a live chat session for this stuff)"
posted at 11:45:20 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"You're not alone. We're never alone. This moment matters, you matter."
posted at 11:45:54 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"Yes I agree. I'm not so good at computers, is refreshing the best way?"
posted at 11:46:29 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"YOu can still turn away? You know you can do this!"
posted at 11:46:59 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"I'm miserable... They are on separate tabs... I don't know how I'm going to get out of this... Is it too late? Have a failed already? Why did God have to make this so difficult..."
posted at 11:48:21 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"You are already winning. you came for help instead of giving in. you can do this. God put you here at this time because you are strong enough."
posted at 11:49:46 on January 18, 2010 by summer
...    
"it;s never too late!"
posted at 11:50:00 on January 18, 2010 by summer
please.    
"Please stay here!"
posted at 11:50:54 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"I'm crying... I'm a worthless animal who can't stop raping himself... I want to give up so badly... I have nothing else to do today...."
posted at 11:51:48 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"Gondor you desire so many rightous thing. the temple...a wife (who you will love and respect)...children (whom you will teach how to beat anything). Every moment matters. you have the moment right now to walk away and stand up for what you really desire."
posted at 11:52:47 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"I'm crying too. I know you can do this please, please...believe in yourself"
posted at 11:53:44 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"you know what you really want...it's not what is on the seperate tabs."
posted at 11:56:46 on January 18, 2010 by summer
...    
"talk to me"
posted at 11:57:45 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"At just one moment I was pinned down... I have 82 days... There was no school today... I have no roommate... I keep telling myself that I can turn away, but I've already looked even if it was just a little or just curiosity... I haven't given in, but my mind keeps telling me who cares... It's too late... I quickly bloged here... I'm glad you are here Summer. I wish sex wasn't such a powerful thing. Or maybe I wish I could have felt something more today rather than just nothing... I have to create something for me..."
posted at 11:58:28 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
...    
"What can we get you out doing?"
posted at 12:00:14 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"I want that feeling... I want that rush... It completely disregards who and what I am... It doesn't care about anything, it just wants that one thing. It's that carnal, sensual, natural man... Everybody in the world laughs and says masturbation is acceptable... but there is nothing to it, it's souless... It's stupid, there's nothing forcing me to masturbate... but the world says I have to do it because I am male, and everything else is without feeling or thought... If smoking didn't kill people then the world wouldn't care..."
posted at 12:02:42 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
...    
"It will only last a fleeting moment...then it's gone. You know that. Think of the moment after?"
posted at 12:04:41 on January 18, 2010 by summer
I have closed the tabs...    
"I will either have to sit here typing randomly, or I will somehow magicly lose the desire to sin and move on to something more productive. I have homework today... I need to buy some stuff... but there is this careless feeling, false reality..."
posted at 12:05:58 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"You do care..or you wouldn't be here fighting so hard. Disapoint Satan...he won't be there for you after."
posted at 12:05:59 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"YES!!! Take that Satan."
posted at 12:06:51 on January 18, 2010 by summer
what now?    
"You got to take yourself away from temptation. you have homework you say? do you need to get out and go to the store?"
posted at 12:08:03 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"Gondor your a good guy. I'm proud of you!"
posted at 12:10:03 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"Does God still love me? Why does he put up with me? Why is he willing to forgive me when he knows I will just do it again.

My biological father is gay... no I'm not gay... but my father talked to me once and told exactly what the world says... I was to immature to handle his words, today I could have blown him off, I could disagree and still be fine... I have yet to find any young man who has not masturbated... I always tell myself that it is not fair to say such a thing... Everybody has sinned, and rather or not we always have our agancy... we choose to sin... We are not hopeless to it, but to be fair it is difficult, I should be nicer to myself, we are like little childeren trying to learn how to control our stupid bodies..."
posted at 12:11:02 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"My mind is numb, I can't think... all I do is type now"
posted at 12:14:00 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"Gondor- We are all children trying to control our stupid bodies! Well put. We all have different trials and stuggles. God loves us all...he hurts when we are hurting...but as our father he must allow us to pass all the tests of life, we wouldn't learn with out it. It sounds like you really don't agree with your biological father...how many sons would rise above the expectations that their dad set for them? you are a special spirit. Give yourself credit!"
posted at 12:18:03 on January 18, 2010 by summer
...    
"Thank you for being here Summer...

I'm going to stay online... I'm going to try to eat some food... Yeah... food... If it's not sex, then it is food... I'm pretty fat too.... I guess it's lunch anyway..."
posted at 12:25:35 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"I have to go drive one of my kids to a friends house...but if you still need me I will stay. What are you going to do? Will you come back today and let me know how you are doing? Thank you for showing me...we can change, we can stop if we want. Righteous desires can prevail. Thank you Gondor. I'm praying for you brother."
posted at 12:26:10 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"I will be here... I will be ok... I can't imagine you coming back and me telling you bad news... So I wont..."
posted at 12:29:49 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
...    
"I'll check in later. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you."
posted at 12:33:24 on January 18, 2010 by summer
Hi Gondor.    
"How are things working out? You may find this hard to believe but I really admire you."
posted at 14:13:26 on January 18, 2010 by Anonymous
Nope...    
"Nope... not much better... I'm glad your back..."
posted at 14:33:45 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
...    
"I'm having a bad day..."
posted at 14:34:37 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
...    
"Bad days stink!...How's it going?"
posted at 14:36:45 on January 18, 2010 by summer
Idea...    
"There is a door at the end of my room that leads into the next room... there are some other kids next door, if I can just have the courage to knock on the door I think this will all be over..."
posted at 14:38:06 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
GO!    
"GREAT idea!!!"
posted at 14:39:27 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"I'm sorry to be so needy... Can I admit something to you?

My favorite TV show is Inuyasha... It's not a bad show, but it becomes a disadvantage too my addiction...

I'm in the most difficulty right now, I look up to this fictional character that is not even real... I feel like an idiot, but it helps when I just pretend it's good...

And then there is Jesus Christ who is real... I can feel in my mind though that he has felt the same horror that I have felt, and he can see the real potential...

..."
posted at 14:44:40 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
:)    
"No need to say sorry...I feel so much hope that you came here for help instead of giving in. Thank you for showing me it's possible. I don't know inuyasha...I'll look it up. Guess what?... I like Twilight! I mean come on...vampires really?!"
posted at 14:48:41 on January 18, 2010 by summer
eh...    
"You made me laugh... I listened to some BYU Cyber secrets thing... its about overcoming pornography obviously... I must protect my emotional intimacy... I must un-isolate myself..."
posted at 14:53:49 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"Did you knock on the door yet? un-isolating sounds like a really great idea"
posted at 14:56:19 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"I don't know how I'm going to get over this... I don't know what the guys on the other side are doing, I feel embarrassed to knock on the door, what if they are sleeping, taking a shower or something... I might just go to the commons area instead..."
posted at 15:03:30 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"You know you need to go somewhere. Whether next door or the commons area. What would you rather do?"
posted at 15:06:44 on January 18, 2010 by summer
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"nobody was there at the commons area, I have homework to do, and I need to buy some stuff... but I'm too stupid to consider moving outside...

I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time..."
posted at 15:15:15 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"You are NOT wasting my time. Explain "too stupid to consiter moving outside"? Do you just not want to leave your home?"
posted at 15:16:51 on January 18, 2010 by summer
Stupid Question    
"Can that Vampire guy be a good Vampire?

Can Inuyasha be good?

Can I be good...

I feel so incredibly stupid... I'm going to knock the door now without thinking about... I might sign off if it works... That is all..."
posted at 15:17:21 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
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"Oh Edward is a good Vampire...make no mistake about that! :)
I still have to reasearch Inuyahsa (if you say it's good, I'm sure it is)...
But I know you are good!!
Go knock on that door...if they aren't home...go somewhere else.
You can do this brother.
I'm signing off too but, I'll be back later."
posted at 15:23:16 on January 18, 2010 by summer
Hang in there    
"It is the little battles like these that can change the entire war inside of you for the better. I am glad you are reaching out. Keep doing that."
posted at 15:39:15 on January 18, 2010 by daneadams
Gondor,    
"When I was a kid I was obsessed with this Hercules cartoon. I dressed up like him and had a magic ring...the whole nine yards. It wasn't until I was in high school that I made the connection that Hercules was really a Greek rendition of Jesus Christ.
I say, if a character represents "good" than that character is a reflection of Christ. I don't think you're stupid at all. I still have many a hero that I look up to. Good luck, Gondor. Sometimes when we're in the grip of tempation we need to change our focus. Read the ARP manual Step One. If we look very closely at this very second, Heavenly Father has given us the strength to overcome temptation. Sometimes He only gives us that strength one second at a time."
posted at 16:18:06 on January 18, 2010 by Anonymous
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"I'm obsessed with Inuyasha... the main character is not bad, but he has had a troublesome youth... I obviously relate to this...

My idiotic problem comes when I associate my addiction to this... I don't even wish to describe it... but as stupid as it sounds, as soon as I relate to this I feel a overwhelming since of doom. I like to pretend that Inuyasha is always good, which oddly helps...

Oh, and this isn't even real... but I would much rather type about this nonsense then to be looking at porn right now... so... whatever..."
posted at 17:56:30 on January 18, 2010 by Gondor44646
Keep Going!!    
"Responding to Gondor's comments--your mind tells you, "it's too late," and "Does God still love me? Why does he put up with me? Why is he willing to forgive me when he knows I will just do it again."

Gondor, it's NEVER too late. If you look at bad pictures for 30 minutes, but you haven't masturbated, then, you still have time to stop and go get help. If you look for 10 minutes, and you could go for another 20 or 50...you still have time to stop and go get help. If you have only looked at a few pictures, you still have time to stop and get help. If you have only thought about looking at bad things, you can still go get help. And if you have gone "all the way" and masturbated, you can immediately go get help--and plan to get help earlier next time. Either way, there is ALWAYS some progress you can make. It is NEVER too late.

God loves you and is willing to forgive you, even though you have made these mistakes and even though you might make them several more times. Why? Because he knows that repentance can also be a lengthy process, and you are in the middle of it. Eventually, you WILL be completely free. He doesn't expect you to be perfect. He doesn't only love perfect people. He loves you because you are his son. And he also loves you because you are TRYING to be obedient to him. He knows eventually, you will be exactly who you need to be. He loves you because he sees who you WILL be.

What is it that you agree to in the sacramental prayer? Not that you DO always remember him or that you DO always keep his commandments, but that you are WILLING to do so; you WANT to do so.

Your struggle is similar to weight lifting. By giving up your addictions, you are trying to lift a 1000 lb weight. You can't do it yet, and you ask, "Why does God still loves me? I'm such a wimp." Come on, that's not what God would say! He says, "So, pick up the 50 lb weight. Do that a few times, then pick up the 100 lb weight. You will get stronger. One day, you will lift the 1000 lb weight. Think of how strong you will be then, Gondor."

It is NEVER to late to keep going, no matter what you have done, and no matter what you are doing RIGHT NOW. Keep lifting the weight. God will eventually take you to where you need to be, if you KEEP TRYING.

With love and faith in you,"
posted at 19:13:28 on January 18, 2010 by BeClean
...    
"Gondor-
I hope you are doing better today. Beclean is right...it's never too late.
I'm so glad you post on this site. You're in my prayers."
posted at 12:16:25 on January 19, 2010 by summer


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"The Savior teaches that we will have tribulation in the world, but we should "be of good cheer" because He has "overcome the world". His Atonement reaches and is powerful enough not only to pay the price for sin but also to heal every mortal affliction… He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us. Like the good Samaritan in His parable, when He finds us wounded at the wayside, He binds up our wounds and cares for us. Brothers and sisters, the healing power of His Atonement is for you, for us, for all. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference October 2006