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I want to...
By Gondor44646
1/11/2010 11:12:18 PM
I've been doing great... I'm on day 76. I beat my record of 70 days. I'm going to college and there are LDS kids everywhere...

I would think everything would be peachy... but for some reason, right now... I just want to masturbate... geeze I'm sorry!? I don't mean to just say that upfront like that. Yeah I feel pretty stupid, I'm glad that I can just Blog here randomly guilt free though. I hope none of you mind my comment, I would much rather tell everyone the truth upfront rather than hid and simply fail...

The good news... I'm not going to do that... So stupid... Sure I want to, but I don't need to. It makes me miserable, it destroys my spirituality, it makes me feel like a stupid dog that can't control itself. I don't need pornography, I don't need masturbation... I have had so many days clear, I have never felt so great in my life. I have felt so good and pure... I have felt loved, and I cared about myself... Sure I have made mistakes, I fully admitted them and understand them. The past is the past. I wish I could change it, it's ok to wish I could change it. I can do something right now though. I can choice to be something more than that stupid dog, I can choice to be something more than a Carnal Natural Man.

Gondor...
"You may carry within you both the blood of the natural man and the carnal human...((being mortal)) but you have to believe that within you also beats a pure heart."

I will be ok... sorry and thanks... that is all...

Gondor

http://www.ear-tweak.com/ramen/joukasareta2.htm

Comments:

Of course you want to,    
"that's not surprising at all Gondor. What would be much more surprising is if you didn't want to. I've finally, for the first time in recent memory, had a couple days where I felt no urge at all! That was a real shock, since it's never happened before.

I'm glad you posted this, I want to masturbate today as well. Yesterday was a much better day, but it really doesn't matter so much. We have to live one day at a time. What good are a thousand days of sobriety if we forget about the next 24 hours? Just something to think about...

Good job on going to a college where LDS kids are everywhere. I hope you find an LDS pornograghy addiction support group to go to every now and then. There are so many hopeless people at group that would love to here about your success.

Thanks for posting, you made my day more bearable.

Keep it up!"
posted at 23:24:11 on January 11, 2010 by ETTE
Honesty is good    
"Thanks for the candor. The first step in the program is honesty, and if we can't be honest here, where can we?

College can be tough. Even surrounded with LDS people. I'd wager many of them have the same problem but just aren't seeking help or don't know where to find it. I agree with the above comment about finding a support group there. Not just for you, but for the many people you will be able to help.

Be strong and let us know how you are doing."
posted at 10:40:21 on January 12, 2010 by Iwillnot


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