I *Can* Be Like Joseph...I Never Have to See Potiphar's Wife Again
By needhelp38
12/19/2009 2:50:51 AM
Here is an update on how things are going...particularly with my job:

*On Sunday night I talked to the dad I nanny for & told him how bothered I was about the inappropriate conversations. I explained some of the situation with my ex & how that made me more sensitive to those things in addition to my
moral beliefs. I told him I need to heal & be in an environment that supports that healing.

*The next day we started chatting on Facebook. He said he brought this up to the younger kids & that they ALL want the language & subject matter cleaned up. I made a comment about Potiphar's wife to the dad & slowly started to tell him that an incident had happened between us. He said he would have a talk with him, suggested I do the same & I was so mad afterwards he didn't react stronger. I couldn't stop thinking about what I wanted to say to the dad the next night & it was so stressful. The dad then said that Tues night he, his girlfriend & I would sit down & talk about it so of course I spent all day rehearsing the conversation & couldn't stop thinking about it.

*So we all sat down to talk last Tues night. I was totally prepared to quit because I didn't see things changing & I just couldn't do it anymore. I told him that I was insulted that he didn't react stronger, explained more of the Potiphar's wife situation , that in a normal job situation I would not have to do anything when sexually harrassed, explained that 95% of what happened was completely my choice but that he knew I had just gone through a traumatic break-up so I felt emotionally taken advantage of, reminded him about my moral beliefs & the stuff with my ex & ended with telling him I would have to look for another job.

*He then explained that he didn't realize how much I had crossed my own personal boundaries & that any of it was non-consensual. I said that I said
it meekly, but the words, "Stop, please & don't" were all said. He felt strongly that if there is any "No" spoken, whether meekly or forcefully, it doesn't matter, no means no. We kept talking & he asked if it would help if Potiphar's wife was no longer at the house. The dad's girlfriend didn't say much but you could tell she was mad. She said, "Yes, I think he's worn out his welcome."

*He also said that his son, daughter-in-law, Potiphar's wife & the guy
who is inactive are all moving a couple hours away for five days out of the week in a montj. He asked if me never having to see Potiphar's wife again would help & if the big kids being around less would help & I said that it would.
He came to a real understanding of how much stress I have been under in
the past few months.

*He then had a sit down with his son & daughter-in-law yesterday to tell them the situation to find out if they knew anything & to lead that to talking to them about cleaning up the language. They had NO idea that anything had happened
& neither of them were happy about it. The daughter-in-law came into the kitchen that afternoon to tell me that she was so sorry, that they had NO idea & agreed it wasn't cool that I asked him to stop & that he wouldn't. She said that they totally support him not being at the house anymore.


"Thanks for the update. You did a good job. Those discussions must have been hard. Don't back down. It it doesn't go as you expect, or if Potiphar's wife comes around again, run like Joseph!"
posted at 19:47:28 on December 19, 2009 by BeClean
"Hey NeedHelp, we haven't heard from you since you provided this update a month ago. How are things going? What happened with the family? How was January?"
posted at 18:05:14 on February 5, 2010 by BeClean

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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988