By Gondor44646
12/6/2009 11:29:48 AM
I don't know what to say. I have to say something though. I've been doing good, but it still feels like nothing. Almost like nothing changed, but really everything is great.

I got a computer job... I fix computers, I love computers and I'm pretty good at fixing them. I've never had a job in my life, and now I have a full time job, and its fun. Ironic that my specialty and weakness is computers.

I am on day 40 right now... Previously 70 days, and then 15, wish it was consistent. but I'm at the point where I just don't care about it anymore... Wooo Pornography... Wooo... Masturbation, yeah whatever, I'm gonna pray and go to bed now... see ya.

I know I have more to say, but it took a lot of effort just to type at all, I don't know, sorry though that I have not been participating. I know God must be blessing my life. I pray for you all... and Ette

That is all...


The Motions    
"I'm so glad you are doing well, Gondor. I wish you were feeling more intensely spiritual, instead of just "going through the motions" (see this song: ).

I think the Lord wants us to feel his Spirit daily. He has promised that the Holy Ghost can ALWAYS be with us. If we only understood what that means and took advantage of it...

How are your prayers? How is your scripture study? Do you sing hymns in your home or to yourself? Have you been to the temple lately?

I mention these things because they bring the Spirit into my life daily. I need that. I thrive on that.

Again, I'm excited that things are going well for you, and I hope you will keep sharing your thoughts. I pray for you (and everyone on this site), too.

With love,"
posted at 14:50:48 on December 6, 2009 by BeClean
Sleep well...    
"Sometimes I don't feel very spiritual when I'm exhausted, so you might have been going through a little of that when you blogged this. When I had my last extended stretch of sobriety, the days between the mid-twenties and mid-fifties seemed to pass by without much effort on my part.

I've heard that our addiction is cyclical in nature, but I'm not entirely sure what that implies. It's possible that you feel complacent about your addiction because your going through an off-cycle. For your sake, I hope it only gets easier from here on out, but I would stay alert if I were you, because it's possible that you'll go through an on-cycle as you continue to stay sober. Either way, I believe it's important that we give thanks for every day of sobriety the Lord gives us, so I'm proud of you for recognizing that the Lord must be blessing your life.

By the way, what did you mean when you mentioned my name at the end of your blog? your use of ellipses (...) confused me.

Keep marching, Gondor."
posted at 15:32:30 on December 6, 2009 by ETTE

Add a Comment:

***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)

"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006