just need to type my thoughts
By ican2
11/21/2009 6:50:43 AM

I feel like satan is just as close as Jesus is to me in my life. I hope that dosnt sound to dark. I feel like sometimes im not even trying, and then when I decide in that moment after my sin to do better it only fades away as the next temptation comes. I find myself at constant battle within. I have allowed myself to become so involved in the secular life that I am drowning out my divine nature and the darkness closes in. I can always se the light ahead but it seems that the light isnt as bright as it used to be or to put it more correctly that I am further from the light and the brightness of it dosnt reach me like it once did. I have been taught about how the mind is actually physically altered as addictions are developed. One thing that I have come to realize is that Im not addicted to porn, it just fuels the fire of my sexual addiction. I know that As I abstain from the fuels that fire my addiction my mind can and will physically resume a more divine and uplifting focus. I have just been having a really hard time lately and I know it is all self-inflicted. I have not been doing the things I know I should to help to fortify my defenses. I find myself in my head alone with alot of my feelings and emotions about many things. I have alot that I dont feel comfortable sharing with my wife. Sin really does twist your mind. I am thankfull for this site and the opportunity I have just to get all of this off my chest. If you could see me, you would see me exhale a sigh of comfort as I unload my thoughts. The contrast from God to Satan is more than night and day but more like pitch black to white fire.


Drowning out divine nature...    
"I can relate so well to how you feel. I have often wondered if I'm drowning out my own divine nature, or if I even have a divine nature to begin with. I used to feel that the devil was my true master since I always ended up following his commands and ignoring God.

I haven't felt that way since I finished step three. The night after I sincerely gave my life to the Lord and promised Him I would follow Him no matter what, I felt so strongly that God isn't finished with me yet. Although I might disappoint myself and disobey God from time to time, His hand is always stretched out, and all I have to do is take it and let Him pull me to a higher place.

Satan would love to confuse us about our relationship with Christ, but as long as we continually repent and feel remorse for our sins, then Christ will continuously forgive us and embrace us. We don't have to be perfect to follow Christ, we just have to be willing to submit to Him.

I'm praying for you, Brother. Rely on the Savior, He's so much stronger than Satan. You might also find some comfort by reading "The Continuous Atonement" by Brad Wilcox. That book taught me so much about the Lord's patience for His children."
posted at 11:08:16 on November 22, 2009 by ETTE
Wait and See    
""God isn't finished with me yet."

Reminds me of this song:"
posted at 21:55:12 on November 30, 2009 by BeClean
Ghetto Gospel    
"That song is great! I was also born in Tennessee in July, but unfortunately I had never heard this song before until I clicked on your link.

I have to admit that I plagiarized the words, "God isn't finished with me yet," but I was plagiarizing from Tupac Shakur's "Ghetto Gospel." Come to think of it, Brandon Heath probably stole some ideas from Tupac as well.

"I make mistakes, I learn from everyone
And when it's said and done
I bet this Brother be a better one
If I upset you, don't stress
Never forget, that God hasn't finished with me yet...."

- Tupac Shakur

Although I don't agree with much of what Tupac said, I think he had a few inspirational thoughts."
posted at 01:05:11 on December 1, 2009 by ETTE

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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990