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More Than Just An Addiction Now
By Sinwithsatan
7/16/2009 4:23:07 AM
If any of you have read my first blog a month ago you know of myself and my addiction. I am 16 and addicted to masturbation and pornography. More so i think just with the thought of sex.

I am sick and sad to admit that if that opportunity ever would arrive to have sexual intercourse with a girl, I would probably take that chance, and would immediately give into temptation, just as I do with giving into pornography and masturbating.

I've tried to stay away from girls who would easily just do stuff with me. And I have stayed away, so far. But for the past two months I've been dating a really nice girl who I like a lot. But I am scared that we are getting too close to the point where we could maybe slip and make a mistake we would both regret doing. We do have strong feelings for each other, I'm sure it's not love, but like all teenage couples this steady dating business is a new thing, and easily you can feel strong feelings for a person of the opposite gender who you find attractive. Well anyway we've gotten close and occasionally kiss, and kiss quite a lot when we do. So i feel like i'm just at the tip of the iceberg here, like we're just at the beginning of sex. I dunno..

I guess I've gone on a bit, but my point is just that there is this girl, that I practically want to make love to. So it's not just my addiction anymore, its an actual, physical girl who I want to do stuff with. And that's my problem...

I do want to wait till I'm married to do these things, I want my want my wife to be the only women I ever do it with. And I know its not fair to my future spouse for me to do the things I do or will do.

So I guess I'm just asking, how do I stop these things that I'm doing, and quit my addiction, If I still always have this desire and lust to have sex while I'm a teen?

It seems as if I have two completely different sides of myself, competing, fighting over what I'll do in the future. I guess everyone does. It's the battle we each fight with ourselves over good and evil. Over God's side, or Satan's side.

And boy do I want to just conquer evil. To win the battle over sin, and my addiction, and over Satan.

But I still have this desire to do these things, so how do I approach overcoming my addiction, when I still have these lustful desires??

Comments:

ideas    
"It's easy to preach, but that's because I've been where you are. It's pretty hard to put on the brakes and just stop that sort of physical interaction in a relationship and still keep the relationship. If you evaluate yourself honestly and it's really risky, you may just need to break up with the girl and not date her anymore at all. At your age, she's not the girl you're going to marry and even if you do marry her 4 or 5 years down the road (after your mission), she's STILL not the girl you're going to marry because she will change a lot in that time. If you're going to marry her, then the opportunity will present itself again down the road. So if you have to break up with her, it's a short-term sacrifice to maintain your cleanliness - and hers. Read "For the Strength of Youth". Read it with her. Tell her that you need to tone things down a bit to ensure you both stay clean. Read Matrix's blog on dating and boundaries ( http://www.ldsar.org/ViewBlog.aspx?EntryId=5005 ). Set up your own boundaries and involve her in the process as well, so she knows what the boundaries are also. Keep up the fight!"
posted at 09:10:30 on July 16, 2009 by derek
Hi    
"Hey there,
I so hope you can turn to the Savior and your Heavenly Father for strength. I read your post last night and have been thinking about you. In my scripture reading this morning I was reading in Alma and came across these verses " O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God.
Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good;"
I am sure it must hard but really there is only one choice here. Choosing something else will only lead to a very hard life, not only for you but many, many others. The choices you make DO affect other people in a great way. But you would definitely make your own life full of hardship, sorrow, regret, guilt, shame. etc., etc.
God didn't put us here to fail. He will help you and strengthen you. Nothing is impossible or too hard for the Lord. He loves you. Turn to Him as those scriptures say and place all your affection on Him.
Don't let Satan win!"
posted at 09:26:29 on July 17, 2009 by Anonymous
Please don't.    
"As a wife of a man who didn't wait for me, let me just tell you how much it will hurt your future wife if you do things now that you should be saving for her. When you get tempted, think of her, your future eternal companion. Think how special it will be when you finally come together and you can know that you and she saved that special thing for each other and ONLY each other. Don't cheapen it. Break up. As nice as she is it's not worth it. Sexual sin is only second to murder. Don't think that it's not a big deal to go all the way with her. Don't even put yourself in the position to fail. Run away as if your life depended on it. I wish my husband had had the strength to wait for me as I waited for him. We've been married many years now and it still hurts. It bothers me but theres nothing I can do about it."
posted at 12:43:57 on July 17, 2009 by Anonymous
hmm...    
"This is my problem too... although I might not fully understand your situation or your life, so pray and use good judgment, however if I were you I would try to limit your relationship. 16 is a great age, yet it is not neccessary to be dating steadly, at least make sure you work within certain limits, you know the devil will do everthing he can to try to make you brake such limits, but without them all sadness may come. What Derek said sounds right, the stitistical chance of this girlfirend becoming your wife are pretty low... I would tell you to control your desires in this kind of relationship, but I don't think thats the right thing to say... I've got the same problem, sombody telling me to just stop dosen't work."
posted at 12:52:18 on July 17, 2009 by Anonymous
oh!    
"Forgive me for my seriousness, but this is what I fear. A part of me is glad that I am sheltered, but I mourn for my uncontrolled thoughts and passions. I need to get out more and do what is righteous, but I keep myself locked up, sad and miserable because of these very thoughts.

There was once a book I read in school about a 16 year old boy. Basicly this book explained the life of this 16 year old living on his own. the book was not all that bad, but this kid, boy, teenager was carried around by the lusts of his heart. The author makes this kid appear animialistic. The kid misses several opportunities to make his life better only to indulge in the most useless of passions... To my horror the kid loses himself to this carnival stripper committing on her adultery and on him fornification. The women gives birth to a boy with the same pains of a troubled and said youth and the same problem. Fatherless and doomed the same way... all for the sake of uncontrolled passion, not mentioning any other future problems and hedonistic carelessness. I can't believe my school made me read such a book. I literally lost some of my self confidence and felt bad that I was a young man with these difficulties.

You can trade the sin of sexual inmorality on anybody, for it doesn't require anything but the temporary carnal physical body. But love and fidelity are not so easily lost as it requires a commitment far beyond the simplicity of sex alone. Spiritual, Temporal, emotional, physical...

Talk to your parents! Talk to your bishop! Please find it within yourself to become humble enough to seek help and support. Certainly I've needed help too. Self-gratification (in these sins) now only prepares us for self-gratification later. I hope I don't offend you, but ((in my opinion)) it is not good to have a steady girlfriend at the age of 16, hugs and kisses really will not bring you anything in such a early relationship. Kissing at all is void when it is not backed up by true love and self-control. Our bodies are physical capable and tempted to procreate far earlier than we are emotional and spiritually ready. Forgive me again. I only hope the best for you. I'm not you, so I can't speak for your behalf. Prayer is always a good way to figure out what to do. Remember you are a son of God, and he always loves you. Also there is this other website I found that might help you in your situation http://www.ldsteenhelp.com/ Good luck, that is all..."
posted at 13:53:51 on July 19, 2009 by Gondor44646
Some Changes    
"Thanks everyone. Your're all right and I appreciate everyone's words. I guess i've always known these things. Have known what to do all along. I just try hiding it all, or even forgetting its possibly to take.
Well I talked to my girlfriend about it. We discussed sex, and about controlling ourselves. Man she is a really good person, she said all that was on my mind, and said that she wants to stay clean and worthy as well. Anyways we decided to stop the kissing for now. For now we are just going to hold of on all the touching and see if that helps any. We also decided we would not steady date, and that even as we still like each other, we're gonna go on dates with other people as well. So all in all i think things will be alright. We both are really good kids.
I however still have my addiction that I am trying to overcome. Its been a few days since I last gave into temptation. But I think one of the toughest things with having an addiction is you know to yourself that IT will happen again sooner or later, that you will give in. I'm hoping that will strength from the scriptures, prayer and my heavenly father that I will be able to prove myself wrong. I guess time will tell."
posted at 03:13:59 on July 20, 2009 by sinwithsatan


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"Man has a dual nature; one, related to the earthly or animal life; the other, akin to the divine. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life"

— David O. McKay