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Decleration of Dependence
By Gondor44646
6/11/2009 2:09:45 PM
Hi, It's Gondor again... here's the recap... 19 yrs old, problem = masturbation and pornography... root = passive-aggressive...

It's summer time... I hate summer, everything and nothing to do...Here is what I am thinking...

The Declaration of Dependence

I am typing this with Step’s 1 and 4 in mind.

I believe that I have come to a certain understanding of the condition of my life right now. I type this to admit to myself that I have not been in control of my life. I admit now that my life has become completely unmanageable. Although there are different problem(s) associated with my life, I admit that passive-aggressiveness is one of the root’s to my problem(s). I acknowledge that I have not been capable of deciphering my own emotions. I know I have not acted in my own self-interest, but in the manipulation of myself and others. I know I by default will resort to avoiding and hiding from my problems and responsibilities rather than confronting them. I admit when I feel fear, anger, resentment or anything else, instead of displaying these emotions I ether sabotage myself, manipulate the situation, use false pride, or passively get back at others. I admit that I lack motivation to change myself, and that this has been the cause of much stress and depression for me. I admit that I have been too concerned about what others think of me rather than what I think about myself or what God thinks of me. I admit that I am not sure, and or I fear what I want out of life. Over these years my will has not been enough to overcome these weaknesses.

I am in a unstable state, in which anything or nothing may happen. Here are my words… here are my honest 200 words that I type about myself.

I am a young man with problems and strengths. I am not very confident in my ability to learn and live, but I know there is still a desire to fill this empty shell and to overcome my weaknesses. Throughout my life I have tried to uphold certain standards, especially in the church, but a sudden fear of displaying my emotions and frustrations in certain failures has kept me from being honest to myself. Although I may have good qualities and accomplishments I usually drown them out with certain fears. I noticed how others feel very easily, and I am sensitive to what others think about me. High School was very difficult for me, but I am grateful that I graduated, even though it was not very good. I like computers, but they are also my enemy. I am not very socially equipped, and I fear relationships and dependence. I am easily discouraged and stressed out, and I may quickly give up with a lack of faith. I know that I am still very nice to others even though I am not very nice to myself. I only hope that I will stil bel accepted even though I am in this state of mind.

My God help me be honest... That is all…
Gondor

Comments:

Thanks    
"It was helpful to read what you had to say. I could see some of my self as a young man. The Lord can work miracles in our lives. Hope to hear from you again."
posted at 23:07:18 on June 19, 2009 by SandyMan


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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967