Overwhelmed But Moving Forward
By esquivel
5/10/2009 4:36:14 PM
Working on my LDSSR program today after church and finally working out Step 4, after pushing it off for an entire week and distracting myself. Getting to this point was helped by Harrison's book - Clean Hands, Pure Heart. I highly recommend it.

Step 4 is hard.

I am feeling the Spirit as I write - but it is painful to see who I was - who I refuse to be any longer. I really and truly was blinded. Walking in the sun at noon day but only seeing what I wanted to - whatever made it easier to hide the guilt and push away the feelings of shame and disgust and the sadness of my lack of integrity and dishonor towards my wife.

I have to trust God to be able to take this list - this "fearless moral inventory" and create something better from its ashes. I will not be this man anymore. I will be the Man my wife deserves - the Man I deserve to be - the Man that God wants me to be, and will help me become.

Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.


Great Strength    
"I can tell you are getting to the heart of this step. I am cheering you on, it is only a short season that you are in this step, in the funk. I gained much from the scripture you sited. Thank you for your great example."
posted at 08:52:13 on May 11, 2009 by sobermind
"Sobermind - thanks for replying to so many. You are helping more than you realize. God bless you."
posted at 11:55:46 on May 11, 2009 by esquivel
Thank you    
thank you for that you have inspired me greatly with what you said in your blog. Where you trust in God and I will be the man my wife deserves I've wriiten down were I can see that. keep up the great work the Lord loves us all and will help us though this if we will trust him, and I do !!!!!"
posted at 10:00:35 on May 12, 2009 by newsoul

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"If it were possible to make your road very easy, you wouldn’t grow in strength. If you were always forgiven for every mistake without effort on your part, you would never receive the blessings of repentance. If everything were done for you, you wouldn’t learn how to work, or gain self-confidence, or acquire the power to change. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990