Print
Up and down...
By Gondor44646
5/3/2009 1:57:56 PM
This is just another post, nothing interesting... I just keep going up and down. It is like I will never commit to anything or take anything truly. Despite everthing that I loose and will loose, my thought is in my mind. Just another one of those moments, this is what goes through my mind before I fail... ((willingly or unwillingly?)) This is just my pitiful atempet to distract myself before I give up. Why am I willing to indudge in my problem now? I thought it made me meserable... it does, so why do it then? Because I get to hid from all of my problems that I can't or think I can't resolve...

I dont know... sorry...

Comments:

Don't give up    
"Gondor,

Don’t let the frustration of yet another relapse make you quit. I know what you are feeling. There have been times in my recovery that I really had to dig to find some sign of improvement. Once the only thing that I could come up with was that now I knew what I needed to do!

There probably are some that quit cold turkey and never look back. That hasn’t been my experience. What I have experienced is that as I continue to try one more time things do get better. Even though I have had my ups and downs, over time I have been able to see that the downs are getting farther apart and they don’t go as low.

In the “Big Book” right after they list the 12 Steps they make this statement, "Many of us exclaimed, 'What an order! I can't go through with it.' Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines...We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection." (p60)

But remember even though many of us falter they also start out chapter 5 in the “Big Book” with this, “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.” (p58) The 12 Steps with our Savior as your Higher Power really works.

I can’t quote it exactly and don’t have time to look it up right now, but someone said something to the effect that, “The secret to success is to rise each time you fall.”

I promise that if you keep going to meetings and keep going back to working the steps and most of all ask Him for His help even if you have just relapsed, you will find success one day. He has answered my prayers beyond my wildest expectations. He is more concerned about you turning to Him for help than He ever will be about what you have done and how many times you have done it. He has already covered that bill and He is ready to help you move on, one more time.

Praying for you,
John"
posted at 18:14:49 on May 6, 2009 by justjohn
Up and down    
"I relate to up and down. I once heard it said that the dis-ease of addiction has no bottom because as soon as you think you hit it your addiction gives you a shovel and says you can dig deeper. I know that you are in the struggle. Please continue to struggle. Another element of this struggle is that you will continue to set a lower and lower standard for yourself as you lose more and more. This sounds similar to the giving in even if I know what consequence is behind that door. I have found that this can even be a habit of settling for less. It is a very real symptom of the disease. Please take courage and faith. I am here if you need my assistance. I will pray for you and know where you are because I visit these same feelings often."
posted at 09:35:11 on May 10, 2009 by sobermind


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006