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Who Defines Me
By sobermind
3/24/2009 9:25:15 AM
Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I have been an dependent independent individual for as long as I can remember. I put my trust and faith into man to define who I am as an island. I have found myself alone in a room full of people as I allow them to define me. I know this is as a result of not fully understanding and enjoying the peace of step 3.

I have rejected the Lords outstretch hand to assist me too long. I have attempted to fill the void of my identity through the fickle nature of friendship. It amazes me how much order turning my will and life over to him can provide. I makes sense as I gain awareness, but the habits of behavior keeping me stuck must be overcome in order to create lasting behavior change.

I react in my interactions with people as a default behavior. At the root of this is the fragile nature of how I define myself. I grew up believing they hold my image in their hands. This is backwards thinking. I am a child of God. If I understand the divine nature of myself and what the promise of this is I have no need to defend only to desplay his light through the talents that he desires for me to use to serve him.

This is very heady, and it makes sense to me but I will give an example and sort it out. I have been untrusting of people talking ill about me. I have stayed in a passive comfort zone at times because of the fear of the assasinations of me. When I suspect others talking ill about me I act suspicious and look to prove it right, this then hurts and I become suspicious of others. This has prevented me from opening up and doing great things. It keeps me uncomfortable in my skin, timid in my activity and prevents people from getting close.

Today I have gained the awareness. \

I desire to create a new habit, one that is capable of allowing me to regularly let go and and let God care for me and my image.

Comments:

Good for you!    
"I, too, have had dire issues with interacting with others. I wanted to say congratulations on the awareness!"
posted at 17:37:17 on September 3, 2009 by sistershan
Well done.    
"I know your post was along time ago. I wanted to see how you were going with everything. I have completed the course and the material and feel to go over it again. I have created a website www.wix.com/Another_Dad/arp it my way of starting to do step 12."
posted at 09:49:54 on June 25, 2010 by Another_Dad
new habit    
"I love what you said at the end about creating a new habit. That is a habit that I need to creat in my own life. Thank you for sharing and making me aware also!"
posted at 06:00:23 on August 4, 2010 by workingonme
The Fickle Nature of Friendship    
"So true. So true. Thank you."
posted at 09:24:32 on August 5, 2010 by enough
Thanks for your insight    
"I appreciate your insight on codependence. I am realizing that it is a challenge that I am facing in my life and realizing that others have the same challenges as I do makes me realize that we are not alone! Most importantly the Savior is there, if I will let him in and define who I am. i have spent most of my life allowing myself to define myself based upon my shortcomings and negative attributes, always thinking that if I got a better grade, worked harder or something that I would feel better about myself when people praised my hard work. In particular it is a challenge because of my physical disabilty. I want to be appreciated and loved and yet that means allowing myself to be open and honest and both available for love but also available to be hurt by others.

I truly hope and pray that you will find hope and healing that you are looking for. I kept thinking that I was finally done with this process, with months of sobriety from a primary addiction I thought I am good, onlyl to have relapses and find myself trying to let the Lord fix my primary problems.

The last thing that I have discovered just now is that I "enjoy" being misearable, it is where I am comfortable like an old blanket I can wrap around myself. As you say looking to find validation through the words and actions of others to discount myself is one of my processes and not allowing myself to be loved by the Savior. Thanks for letting me comment on your post and helping me discover more about myself. Now comes the hard part, putting it into practice for the rest of my life :)."
posted at 09:21:15 on November 12, 2013 by sjanderson


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"I will speak briefly of the principle of repentance. How grateful I am for the understanding we have of this great principle. It is not a harsh principle, as I thought when I was a boy. It is kind and merciful. The Hebrew root of the word means, simply, "to turn," or to return, to God. Jehovah pled with the children of Israel: "Return . . . and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful . . . and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God." When we acknowledge our sins, confess them and forsake them, and turn to God, He will forgive us."

— Richard G. Hinckley

General Conference April 2006