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I feel so stupid for doing it
By Joshua
2/4/2009 9:42:51 PM
So last friday I got laid off from my job and guess who was there trying to make me feel better by tempting me to go and indulge in my addictions to try to make me feel ? as I was feeling pretty bummed out about it as this is the 2nd layoff I had in the past 12 months and I was feeling sorry for myself as I was trying to get a good paying job that will lead to a career so my wife can stay home and not have to work full time too. Well, at least I had good intentions as far as the job thing went till I got laid off. So I was able to resist the 1st time by raying like my life depended on it but by the time 10:30 - 11pm rolled around still feeling depressed about it and bored and bit tired I started to indulge and got deeper and deeper. I should have walked away and turned off the computer and hanged out with my wife instead. So after I did it I promised myself I wouldn't binge but today I did it again. What is wrong with me!!! I will tell you I forgot to pray for help and been slack on keeping my guard up and even though I felt those extra hormones I should have been extra viligint for not doing it. On top of it I was doing so well till last friday it was about 2 weeks that I didn't do it. So any suggestions on how not to indulge despite the trials that our in life besides prayer as that I know thanks to the Holy Spirit and in co-junction with the ARP program I just have to remember to do it ALL THE TIME WHEN THE TEMPTATION COMES EVEN IF IT IS JUST A PASSING THOUGHT.

Comments:

P:S    
"I should have known better as it didn't resolve my job loss issue as I still need to find another job"
posted at 21:45:54 on February 4, 2009 by Joshua
most of us have been there    
"I know I have been in your shoes. You feel like an idiot for indulging and you get stuck on your stupidity so you do it again.

Don't give up on yourself. You are an addict. With that you are going to have some withdrawals and it can be really hard for awhile. But don't give up on yourself. Keep doing what you need to be doing, be honest with your wife, read your scriptures, pray for forgiveness, Heavenly Father wants to give it to you because he loves you.

The third step is one of my favorites ... "Trust in God"

When I trust in God things start to get a little easier (the temptations don't go away) but when I am tempted I remember that I gave my trust to Him and with His help I can generally think of something better to then act out. "
posted at 21:51:41 on February 4, 2009 by toes_23
P:S    
"I should have known better as it didn't resolve my job loss issue as I still need to find another job"
posted at 22:10:59 on February 4, 2009 by Joshua
Been There Done That! But never give up!    
"I have been in your shoes more often times than I care to think aobut! It is not a laughing matter and it is very depressing. Well, it is for me. I don't want to dump here, but, I have been depressed about not getting and holding my dream job for the past 6 years. And now, when I want to go back to work, my body is falling apart on me.

But here is some advice I can give you: 1st, recognize that being laid off, with pink slip and everything, is not your fault. If by any reason you were let go because of your addiction, that is a different story. I dont think you were and that should never cross your mind as a reason to get down on yourself.

2nd, do everything in your power to reasure your wife that you are working to get another career or at least seeking a different avenue of training for a differnt carreer. If the old one is not working, then look for a better oprotunity. It will be difficult because satan will always be there to trip us up. But pray about it and you will find the answer. Choose a career that you would like to go into and pray about it. And then ask Heavenly Father if that career path is right for you and your wife, and he will give you an answer - wether that answer be a burning in your bosom or peace and calm - he will give you an answer.

3rd: Never, never, ever become resentful of the blessings that you have now! Never let this resentment creep into your marriage with your wife or people that you associate with. I'll tell you why: It is so easy for us to blame ourselves and say that it is our fault when we get laid off. Satan will sneak in that void and put that temptation to act out and tempt you with thing that you are tempted with. Some of the things he says to me is "you're worthless, you will never amount to anything when you get laid off all the time." Or "your wife will never respect you because you haven't held a job like you want to, so just act out." These are just some of the things he tried on me. So be very careful and mindful of your thoughts. I know it is easier said than done, but you can do it. I started a journal and I write all the negative self defeating thoughts that Satan tries to use on me and I recognize them for what they are. Then I start writing a prayer down and surrender/give up this temptation and send it away from me. This usually helps me to overcome.

4th: Be mindful of your wife's feelings. She may feel just as depressed as you or resentful at you or both. You will not know unless you communicate with her and listen to what she wants you to do. Boy, I wish I learned that lesson years ago! My wife would not be so quick to resent and be angry all the time because of my failures or my physical handicap. Your wife will be your greatest comforter, besides the Lord, or your worst enemy. I know. Because when I try to clean myself up, Satan always attacks my wife in the worst way - when that happens, I know we end up aurguing. But I know that when I listen to her and find out what she is thinking, and listen to the Spirit, everything is a little smoother.

Finally, you must not let this slip or these current slips get you down! Ever! Because if you are alone and keep beating yourself up for the slip, you are letting Satan control your thoughts and actions by acting out more. And that is the most difficult thing for us addicts to do. To recognize that we slipped, pray for forgiveness and move on. I know it has been difficult for me in the past. I would steam and fume about messing up, but now, I know that if I do, I fall victim to Satans trap of Anger, frustration and resenment. And I know that when I start feeling resentful or angry at myself because of an embarrasing thougt or act, then I fall again.

Sorry for being a little preach! But this is what has helped me with facing this. I hope it helps

SPRITGIANT"
posted at 00:10:26 on February 5, 2009 by SPIRITGIANT
P.S. Ademdem to first post    
"If you have the SA white book, what I am talking about could be fount on pages 48-49, in the chapter The Spiritual Basis for Addiction. It has helped me to recognize certain obsesive thoughts and break the cycle of condemning thoughts. Hope it helps. SPIRITGIANT."
posted at 00:14:02 on February 5, 2009 by SPIRITGIANT


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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006