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Here's how Ive managed to stay sober for 90 days.
By salide
1/28/2009 8:42:45 AM
I finally decided to get help in the spring of 08 after almost 35 years of being an addict. I started when I was 5 or 6. I was going to SAA meetings once a week, but I kept on acting out. Then after I got sick and tired of being sick and tired of it all I decided to get an SA/SAA sponsor, and went to meetings almost everyday of the week, I initially I only made it 24 days but only because I wasn’t “working the program” everyday and I was looking for a “softer more gentle way”. Finally, I decided to make my recovery a top priority. Not just a priority, but an EXTREME priority. My previous philosophy, which did not keep me sober for the previous four months, was; to do the minimum that I could get away with. Not necessarily because I didn’t want to get better, or because I was lazy. I just wanted more time to be with my family, because I was finally able to reconcile with my wife and five kids that I had left. I left them because I thought that I needed “the freedom to go find myself because they were holding me back from me being able to be the real me”. What a load of crap!
Anyway, on October 27 2008 I started again but this time with an extreme vengeance. These are most of the things I do to enable me to stay sober from my sex and love addiction.

- I pray and meditate 2X daily
- I read the scriptures 2X daily
- I call my SAA/SA sponsor daily
- I READ! READ! READ! literature about my addiction or other books related to the topic of addiction, daily
- I write in my journal 2X daily, and of those 2X daily, I write down, at the end of the day 5 things I am thankful for.
- I have a 50 minute commute to work, one way, so I listen to the book of Mormon on CD.
- At work I listen to BYU radio instrumental, or classical music
- I exercise daily
- I went to MEETINGS! MEETINGS! MEETINGS!, 6 days a week, had there been another one to make 7, I would have gone
- I attend SAA, SA, and also LDS AR meetings
- I fast weekly and will continue to do so until my membership privileges are restored
- I pay tithing
- I strive to be as active as I can according to my church membership status at the moment
- I follow the 12 step programs Im involved with as strictly as I can. I don’t aim for “spiritual perfection, but spiritual progression”, and when I break boundaries, I immediately check it in with the group and/or sponsor. In other words, I “work the program” daily as thoroughly as I can.
- I memorize a new scripture every week by putting it on a note card and on the other side I write down affirmations. I pull it out whenever I can.
- I meet with my Bishop once a week.
- I plan my weeks, days, and even hours, on paper, to as much detail as possible so I don’t have to catch myself with unnecessary or unexpected down time.
- I DO NOT have a filter on my computers. Why? If you are a true addict, it wont work, but it will however protect your kids from the addict in your house.
- If you do manage to stop your addiction without proper healing and recovery then I think you are fooling yourself because in reality, all you’ll end up doing is switching addictions or you’ll act out in even worse the next time, or you’ll just end up being a “dry drunk” who abstains from the addiction, but has not properly healed and will continue in “unhealthy living”.
- I keep my priorities in strict order. It should be; God first. Second, you/sobriety, then whatever else is important for you like, family should be third, and so on and so on.
Ok so how many of you out there think Im too extreme? How many of you think that “your situation is different” with you or your spouse? Ok, now how many of you or your spouses are still acting out?

Everyone has a different type of sex addiction or behavior. For example, for a long time I thought I was just a sex addict but by the grace of God, I just found out recently that Im a love addict also. Therefore, everyone also has different tools they use to stay sober. Im not saying on any level that you all have to follow what I do. That would be ridiculous. What I am saying though is that we as addicts really are “different” and we will always be different, and if you really want to be sober, then youll go to ANY EXTREME to get that sobriety. Today is day 90 for me and I cant begin to tell you all the positive changes Ive seen in my life, just in the last 3 months. And another thing, do you really think that I really enjoy doing all the things Ive just listed to keep me sober? Heck no I dont! They take up a lot of my time and can be very inconvenient at times. I used to race triathlons and was in great shape, but now? Now I look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy because I use all my free time now to do things that keep me sober. Plus, do I have to mention all the gas and money I spend trying to get to all these meetings? The list could go on about how this recovery had turned my life upside down. But, you know what? I thoroughly do enjoy being sober and I enjoy getting to know for the first time in my life, this person called “God”. When I finally figured out that I wasn’t Him, then I got to know Him. My point in saying all of this, is that it sometimes takes lots of inconvenient sacrifice. Another thing that I cant stress enough: humility!, humility!, humility! My motto now is, “The lower you go, the higher you’ll reach!”. The sooner you stop worrying about who in your ward or community knows, the easier it will be to recover. Im not saying go tell everybody or anybody, but what I am saying is pretend like everyone does. You have to strip yourself of every ounce of pride, because we are all “unworthy creatures”(Mosiah 4:11) after all. Do I still seem that Im “extreme”? Well, yes…Ive been “extremely” blessed the last 90 days and I don’t intend to look back. I used to get angry and resentful about the thought of having to deal with this addiction the rest of my life. Now I don’t worry about it. All I have to do is worry about staying sober for today, God will do the rest. I used to be very angry at God for giving me this addiction. Angry to the point that I started to not believe in His validity. How could a loving father give a trial that was incurable, I used to think. I sometimes would even argue with the teacher at the AR meetings about whether God really did exist because of addictions. Well, one part is true, this addiction, like any other addiction is NOT curable, like Diabetes etc etc etc, but it can be managed, and yes, you can stay sober with the help of God the Father and His son Jesus Christ. Sobriety is like a testimony in my opinion. You have to work at it everyday if you want it to grow. Please keep in mind that I have not written these things to “boast in my own strength”, in fact, boasting in my own strength is a one way ticket to breaking boundaries, and then you are just one step away from acting out. Im certainly not here to say that I know it all now, in fact, the longer Im in my recovery and sober, the more I realize how much I DON’T know. No, I write these things, to say that if I can do it, then so can you, but only if youre willing to go to extremes and turn your life upside down for the greater good , and by "greater good" I mean, your spouses and children for most of you on this website Im sure. If you want to know more about me, my story in greater detail, and the other things I do to stay sober, please free to contact me on this website or at salide1@yahoo.com.
God bless you all.

Comments:

Thank you!    
"This is what true recovery looks like. Amazing that there are no comments to this blog. I hope you come back and help those who are struggleing.

This gives us HOPE!!"
posted at 16:15:10 on October 3, 2011 by Hero
awesome!!    
"dang, this is some serious mindset! Wow, I am so glad that you have taken the step to do everything. You give me more desire. I realized over conference that I need to devote myself to serving and uplifting others. that is one thing I will add to my list. I also went to my first 12 step meeting in months. Mostly bc everyone on this site highly recommended it. I want real recovery, too!! I am going to make it more priority even before other "fun" things I would rather do. I like the idea of a weekly fast. I am going to try that sunday. (I think it is fast sunday in my ward anyway). Addicts are some of the most disciplined people I know. Is this a concidence?? We are being taught discipleship the HARD way. Can't say Im grateful but I am way more diligent than I ever have been. still a long way to go...."
posted at 22:22:04 on October 3, 2011 by warrior


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"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
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    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988