Print
Sometimes it Takes More Than Once
By Grandma N
12/8/2008 7:13:03 AM
Sometimes it takes more than once going through the program for a complete healing to take place. I am one of those, back for the third time - this time in a group.

I went through the program twice on my own when one of my children was attending the program for a pornography addiction. (I am happy to say that he is a recovering addict of several year's success at this point in time. Tho it ruined his first marriage, he has re-married and he and his new wife have been sealed in the temple...his is a good result because he threw himself into the program. )

As for me, we recently had a class in Sunday School about the recovery from addiction program, and I was touched that my healing was not complete...in fact, I'd been praying for help. Then the missionaries asked me to drive an investigator to the program...and I realized Father was trying to tell me that this was the answer to my prayers.

In the past few years I have managed to eat myself into insulin resistance and still found myself eating things that I knew could kill me. If that is not addiction, I do not know what is.

Yet, as one person said above, it is the "socially acceptable" one. And I too have people saying, "All you need to do is eat less..." Bless their hearts, they mean well. But I am standing up and saying, I cannot do this myself. I am an addict. And it took almost 63 years to admit it!

The first meeting I attended was on Step 7 - Humility, and by a great "coincidence" was the one I needed most. I guess I have felt that somehow yes, God could change me, but I think I expected it to fall on me from Heaven and that I would be instantly changed into this eating controlled person. And I felt I was somehow flawed because God could change others...why had He not changed me?

The class finally helped me understand that all things happen in the due time of the Lord, and that if I have asked to be healed, in sincereity, then it WILL happen...but until then, I have the responsibility to seek out means of control for myself and that God will strengthen me to do it as I make my little feeble efforts. This I will not be left to do alone as I submit my will to Christ's. Don't ask me why I didn't get that the first 2 times on my own...duh...

Anyhow, I took two steps this week toward control. 1. I fill a small plate with food before I eat anything, and 2. when I am eating, I put down my fork between bites.

Not huge things, actually very small, easy to do things...but I have been more in control this past week than I have been in months. Next week I will continue those and add one or two more.

We can do this. And by the way, I appreciate how everything I have read so far has been encouraging and sharing without ugly crosstalk.

Comments:

Welcome GRANDMA N    
"I am also a compulsive overeater, and working the steps again. I am very happy to see your blog and look forward to having you be a part of my online "group"!

Yesterday I was asked to speak in Sacrament meeting on the 21st, on the 1987 Christmas Message by Pres. Monson: "In Search of the Christmas Spirit". I am so grateful for this assignment, because for the next 2 weeks I'll be focusing on the main points of the talk: In seeking the Christmas spirit, we are really seeking to be more Christ-like; as we give service we will feel that spirit.

As part of my recovery I read from the scriptures, and I read some 12-step literature, each morning (then I come to this site, to read and sometimes write). I find this is necessary if I am to have a clean day in recovery. So--this morning I read from the 12th-step chapter in my OA book, and was very encouraged. It is good to read that the miracle of "physical, emotional, and spiritual healing" can come!

Next I turned to the LDSAR book, and found this quote from the 12th step chapter:

"Step 12 involves the third anchor—service to others—that ensures a continued recovery and a remission of sin. To remain free of addiction, you must get outside yourself and serve. The desire to help others is a natural result of spiritual awakening. You have a message of hope for other addicts..."

So...for the next 2 weeks, though I am not yet at the 12th step, I will be focusing on the idea of service. I was always taught not to skip ahead when reading a book, but I'm glad I'm reading the 12th step now--I might have gone years (failing so often, as I do) without reading the great message of hope written there.

Oak, I appreciate your comment. I know that Heavenly Father will give us ideas on things we can do to help us keep our recovery. You might want to read Step 12--it does talk about coming to a place where the compulsion is lifted--though we do need to "endure to the end", to "continue the journey one day at a time for the rest of our lives." We truly can have HOPE for relief from our addiction.

Today I hope we all have a good, clean (and yellow!) day, with God's help."
posted at 09:35:13 on December 8, 2008 by stargazer
A thought from Earnie Larsen    
"I definitely agree that it takes more than once working through the 12 Steps. It has for me so far. I think working them on your own can make it a lot tougher. Meetings and places like this site have been crucial. I think a big part of my first relapse at nine months into recovery was because I hadn’t been to a meeting for about three weeks.

Recently I read “Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul” in there is a quote from an Earnie Larsen, “Part of recovery we can’t do alone and part no one else can do for us.” Only I can really work the steps for myself between meetings and take steps like you are making Grandman, but having the support of others and hearing or reading their thoughts to keep me going is much “life support” as doing my dailies.

The biggest reason I am here today is because I missed my usual Monday meeting and didn't get one last night."
posted at 08:58:22 on December 10, 2008 by justjohn
Me too    
"Grandma,

I have eaten myself to diabetes. And being 100 pounds overweight. We were discussing in our ARP meeting a few weeks ago the same realization that we don't do this on our own. We simply have to take care of the "prerequisites" as I call them, and Heavenly Father does the rest! How great it is to realize this! I was really weighed down wondering how I was going to beat this addiction.

Thanks for your post and your reminder that we aren't in this alone, and that sometimes it takes longer than we think it will."
posted at 18:43:20 on September 3, 2009 by sistershan


Add a Comment:


***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)








help
join
"The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that it is right at our fingertips and there is no escape. Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you. You find yourself unable to stop it. But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you. Likewise, even though the Internet is saturated with material, you do not have to watch it. You can retreat to the shelter of the gospel and its teaching of cleanliness and virtue and purity of life. "

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004