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Bishop Question
By Matrix
10/27/2008 12:43:53 AM
I'm going to explain this the best I can but I don't know if it will make sense.

I have to go see my bishop because I made a huge dumb mistake. I've talked with this bishop many times about my stupid choices. Well, I hate going to see him for any reason. I try to only see him because I have to, not because I want to. I feel so uncomfortable around him even when I have nothing to confess. I know he doesn't understand addiction let alone a woman with this addiction and I'm trying to teach him so he will understand. I hate how he treats me and how he looks at me. My friend has even noticed that he treats me differently and she feels bad for me. I don't know how exactly to describe it except that he treats me like I'm pathetic. He also only gives me two looks. One is, "Where you good this week?" and the other is, "I care about you but I don't want to talk about this because it makes me uncomfortable." If you saw the looks, you'd know what I'm talking about. He barely lets me confess as well. I usually interrupt him and tell him I came to talk to him for a reason. I'm fine with confessing and that really isn't the part that bugs me. I was stupid and messed up and I need to take care of it so I confess. He just seems so judgmental.

Toes told me once that it doesn't matter what my bishop thinks about me, it's what I think about myself which I totally believe. I just wish he didn't seem so afraid of me. I'm pretty sure he's scared to death about what will come out of my mouth next. Anywho, lots of rambling but I'm pretty much wondering if it's okay that I feel so uncomfortable around my bishop? I mean, is this a normal thing that I should just get over? I'm planning on talking to him because I believe my feelings shouldn't get in the way of something I need to do. I just don't want him to look at me like that. I want him to see me for me and not my addiction.

Okay, I feel like this doesn't make much sense but I still got it out there. I need some help with this one.

-Matrix

P.S. I keep blaming messing up on myself. I keep telling myself it wasn't apart of my addiction and that it was just my own dumb choice. Is that true? Does it have nothing to do with my addiction?

Comments:

Something better for you    
"Matrix.

Your story about your bishop is understandable. He isn't superman, he didn't even campaign for the job. Be patient with him. He is learning. I truly feel for you. I am actually amazed by you. You are so brave and so valient. I only hope I could keep doing what I know I needed to under those circumstances. I think the way you are handling things says a lot about your character. You have a lot of integrity. You have a STRONG testimony of the restored gospel and the value of the atonement. Why else would you keep pushing that handcart? You are a pioneer in these latter-days. You are enduring to the end. You are nothing short of inspiring.

On the mess up!....can I talk to you like an older sister?....DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN THAT POSSITION! When I read that you were drinking I was sick. You were speeding towards trouble before you even got there. Your are worth so much more than that. Heavenly Father has something better for you. You just have to have faith that you are worth it."
posted at 01:18:20 on October 27, 2008 by robin
Pray for your Bishop    
"Matrix,

When you meet with your bishop ask him if you can offer the prayer. In your prayer ask the Lord to help the bishop to understand your addiction and that the spirit will give him guidance in how he needs to give you advise. I have found that that will bring a special spirit into the room and he then can advise you as a true representative of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Scott"
posted at 04:01:08 on October 27, 2008 by smwil46
I agree with Scott    
"Praying will always pull the spirit into the room. Heavenly Father wants you to be doing what you need to be doing.
I still stand by what I said before though, it is more important what you think about yourself then what the bishop thinks about you. At the very least you see the guy once a week. But you're with yourself everyday.
Say a prayer before you go into his office. Say prayers for your bishop the week before you see him. Pray for his heart to open to your confession. Do what Scott suggested. I think there can be a lot of power in a prayer."
posted at 09:23:00 on October 27, 2008 by toes_23
Just an idea...    
"Is your dad in a position to give you a blessing?"
posted at 01:32:21 on October 29, 2008 by Anonymous


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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990