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Telling "Loved" Ones
By Matrix
10/13/2008 12:11:04 AM
I've learned the hard way (a couple times) to never ever tell certain people about your addictions. You don't always know who you shouldn't tell until it may be too late. Some pretend to be okay with it for a while, some let you know from the beginning that you are a worthless filthy sinner, and some just kick you out of their world completely.

I've had this happen to me a handful of times. It weeds out the friends really quickly. The only ones left are those with similar or the same addictions. Ones who have no right to think they are better then you because they are in your same shoes. Those people are few and far between. The other ones are better then me. They are good Mormons and good Mormons don't do these things ever and because I've done them, I'm not a good Mormon even if I've repented. They either want nothing to do with me because of it or the burden is now theirs to deal with because I chose to tell them. They understand the consequences of my actions better then I do. Mind you, these are only friends, not spouses but I still have to tell them whenever I mess up. Because I tell them these things, all the weight of the sin is now resting on their shoulders and they have to face the world carrying the weight of what I've done.

They suffer for my sins. They are the ones who have to choose everyday to not let it affect them so they can live their lives normally. They suffer worse then I do because I don't understand how bad my sins are. I am far worse then they will ever be. I'm just like every other addict including the ones who think what they do is okay and not hurting anyone. Even if I've repented, I'm still an addict and I'll still slip back into my addictions no matter what. I'll never overcome this. I'm a horrible person, I always have been and I always will be.

Comments:

I disagree    
"I disagree with you. No one feels the burden of your addiction like you do. No one but CHRIST. You are not giving yourself any credit and that disappoints me. You are worth the hard fight. You are. You can get better, you have been. You can do it Matrix, one day at a time. Please don't give up."
posted at 01:03:09 on October 13, 2008 by robin
Matrix    
"People who judge you or treat you differently aren't worth your friendship. I wouldn't advertise my addiction. Talk to a sponsor or a support person or people in meetings about it but other than those people, most will not know how to deal with it.

You said, "I'm just like every other addict..." That's a liberating realization because RECOVERY is available to every addict. Being an addict doesn't mean that you'll "slip back into (your) addiction no matter what" Most of the addicts that I call friends have alot of clean time. You're not a horrible person. Perhaps you're a sick person who wants to get well. Most of us fit into that category. The self-pity is dangerous. Instead, get into the actions of recovery. Meetings, Sponsor, working the Steps. These are the actions that break the cycle and change lives. Don't give up."
posted at 01:17:02 on October 13, 2008 by Anonymous
No Better, No Worse    
"We LDS folks are all sinners, and some of us have addictions. People with addictions can recover, but only with the help of God. I think recovering addicts are the most awesome people I've known--humble, compassionate, grateful... I can see you are in a lot of pain, and know that is hard. I also think you have some addictive thinking going on there, though, with the "I'm SO awful, there's no hope for me; other people don't get it, I'm alone." That thinking will get you right back into using--so, if you want to get into recovery, you need to ask God to help you get out of that deceptive and incorrect addictive thinking. You might be horrible indeed, but there IS hope. God is stronger than you, and can help you. Do you have a 12-step book you can browse when you feel weak?"
posted at 08:19:32 on October 13, 2008 by stargazer
Don't...    
"Self pity is the devils greatest tool."
posted at 16:06:41 on October 13, 2008 by Anonymous
Studying the Gospel.....    
"President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve taught: “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1986, 20; or
Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17).

This is right from Step 1. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Fear Not, Move Forward, Believe in the Savior, and Study his gospel. That is the only way! Otherwise it will be self-fulfilling prophesy.

Hang In There Matrix."
posted at 16:18:35 on October 13, 2008 by nyronian
Sarcasm    
"Okay, the stuff I said before was just things people had let me know. It's not that I believed it, it's just what "friends" had told me. I got angry at them and deeply hurt. I'm still working on getting over it. To hear people tell you horrible things like that puts you into a depression. Yes I've done horrible things but I realize that, God has forgiven me for most of them and so it's not right to have someone use those things against me. The last time someone said something mean to me really hit me hard. They were my best friend and I trusted them. It threw me down so far because I hadn't done anything to them. It was honestly all something that they had made up and it hurt to be blamed. The best advice I have is, if God can forget it and forgive, so should you."
posted at 10:50:54 on October 20, 2008 by Matrix


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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

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General Conference May 1990