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I'm new here...
By bbgc72
9/1/2008 7:28:45 PM
hello everyone. I just began attending the meetings ARP. It is very small, and only the general meetings, not specific to porn/sex addictions - which I wish it were, but I know this will help.
A little background: I've been heavily into pornography and masturbation since I was about 12 or 13. I am 36 now. I joined the church 11 years ago, 2 weeks after my daughter was born (I was with her mother for 5 years living together, but never married, we were too different).
I honestly have seldom had more than a month or two without viewing something, or beginning to masturbate (even if I stopped before I had "finished), or even just dialed up stupid 800 #'s that I knew would have some lusty sounding recording.
I want to completely defeat this, and I'm very practical in the fact that I know there will be occasional relapses and its a process, but I do believe in the Savior and in the truth of the Gospel. It's just so difficult, especially when a peson doesn't have any real emotional support group. I'm an only child, and my parents arent very close at all, even though they are only 45 minutes away. I believe a lot of the reasons why I began the addiction was due to what's called "intimacy disorder", where I needed so much to be close and able to trust others, but found it so hard. I'm a fairly confident man - but initiating contact and making friends without them coming up to meet me is terribly hard. I was just called to be a Ward Missionary (and my bishop knows my problems) so I believe this is an inspired thing that will really help me in my efforts. I've always noticed that if I was truly focused on protecting myself from the temptations and doing the right safeguards (prayer, scriptures etc.) that when I am blessed with relationships with others, then that makes things a lot easier. I've just in the past fallen in those times because I guess I took the gospel for granted, and wasn't as valiant in sticking to those things I NEED!
I just was divorced about 1 1/2 years ago to the love of my life (we were only together for 3 years, but we balanced each other with so many complimentary traits...iti was so good, and losing it was a real hell in my life, a real wake up call) ; and it took almost that entire time to be truly able to move on from what I had destroyed. She discovered my porn addiction, and within 5 days told me she was divorcing me. It was a hard thing to accept. And even harder was forgiving and moving on from what I felt wasn't a very good effort from our Bishopric at the time to try to have the two of us work together with marriage counceling etc. I was fully willing to do anything to keep it together, but....without someone there and all alone and beating oneself up every minute etc....it's so easy to keep falling into the same traps again and again.
Well, right now my number says day 1 - but I believe I can make it to 10 or higher and eventually within the year - to a couple months or more. I'm really glad I've found this site. So many of the stories - of success or heartbreak - are so inspiring to me. I'm not alone in this. I can do it. I want to, and I know that Heavenly Father wants me to also!

Comments:

you can do it !!!!!    
"JUst stick to it I know that you can do it , myself and oters are here to help and to listen to you . We are brothers of the spirit, may the lord bless you and keep you safe from harm and also you are in my prayers !!"
posted at 07:52:13 on September 2, 2008 by newsoul
keep it up    
"Glad to hear that you're going to the ARP meetings, it's defnitely the most helpful thing I've done. I'm still an addict (it doesn't even feel right to say I'm a recovering addict yet) but having a group of people that I can share my feelings, struggles and successes with is such a great help.

Stay close to the Lord and he will help you."
posted at 01:29:49 on September 3, 2008 by zoltib


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"The Savior teaches that we will have tribulation in the world, but we should "be of good cheer" because He has "overcome the world". His Atonement reaches and is powerful enough not only to pay the price for sin but also to heal every mortal affliction… He knows of our anguish, and He is there for us. Like the good Samaritan in His parable, when He finds us wounded at the wayside, He binds up our wounds and cares for us. Brothers and sisters, the healing power of His Atonement is for you, for us, for all. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference October 2006