Toilet Paper.
By toes_23
6/9/2008 9:13:43 PM
"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
# Choose to Be Alive
# Choose to Believe
# Choose to Change
# Choose to Be Different
# Choose to Exercise
# Choose to Be Free "

----Russell M. Nelson

Usually when I read the 'quote of the day' I get to feeling shameful and depressed. But not today! This quote has everything to do with step three. Trust in God.

"The submission of one's will is really the only uniquely person thing we have to place on God's altar"

This is my second time on step three and this time I really feel like I can place my will onto God's altar. Before now I would give it to him and then take it back. This time I hope to be different.

I had this object lesson in seminary. Our teacher walked around the classroom with a roll of toilet paper and handed each of the students a square or two. On it he told us to write something about ourselves that we wanted to get rid of, a bad habit or something. After that we split into two groups (boys & girls) went into the bathrooms and flushed our squares down the toilet. When we went back into the room our teacher told us that if wanted to get that part of ourselves back, then we would have to go get it. Symbolically we were giving that part of ourselves to the Lord. We were trusting in Him.

Even though I had the problem with masturbation then, that is not what I wrote down on my piece of paper. Maybe was too afraid someone might read it over my shoulder... maybe I wanted to keep it for myself. Today I am ready.

I am flushing my addiction. I am giving up my will to the Lord. I know he will take care of me because he loves me and wants me to partake of the atonement.



"So I went to group last night. They're trying out this new thing where the husbands and wifes are doing a combined class. I thought it would help me out because I feel like a loser in the women's only class... because I seem to be the only one there with a masturbation problem.

Needless to say, it really didn't help too much. I feel sort of lost at group. I'm a women so I'm in with the "support the addict" people, because everyone assumes that because I'm a women it MUST be my husband who has the problem. I can't go on the men's side of things ... well because they're men. I don't necessarily think that I can relate to them any better... Maybe I can relate to them better then the women, but I think I can say what I really want to say sometimes when my husband isn't sitting right next to me (even though we usually discuss what we said at group with each other when we go home)...

I don't feel like I fit in anywhere... I'm starting to feel alone again."
posted at 09:53:27 on June 11, 2008 by toes_23
"I understand how you feel. I haven't actually been to a support group but I want to find one. I'm so terrified of being in your position where I'd be the only women with a problem. I'm here for you if you need someone who is going through exactly what you are. I just with I lived close enough so that I could go to group with you so both of us wouldn't be alone."
posted at 13:16:52 on June 11, 2008 by matrix
Me too.    
"I really wish you lived close by too. I am super frustrated with group right now. Almost to the point of not going anymore. I know that it's supposed to be helpful, and it is, but I don't feel like I'm working on my addition on my own anymore... I've got the manual, and I'm going to try and get hooked up with a therapist. I suppose if I do all three of those things (group, manual, therapist) then I should be well on my way to a full recovery... but group can just be so danged frustrating!
I don't feel any hate or animosity toward my husband at all when he screws up... (well I do feel hurt.. which is why I feel like a loser at group, like I don't have an excuse to be hurt because I have the same problem)
anyway, I guess I am just venting about it again.. I won't stop going to group... it's done me too much good to stop going."
posted at 22:22:11 on June 11, 2008 by toes_23
General Addiction Meetings    
"For the women who feel somewhat out of place at the women's only meetings for the spouses of porn addicts, you might consider going to a general meeting. I started attending meetings before the specific meetings began. I found drug addicts and alcoholics very accepting even though I was sure they wouldn't be if they knew what my problem was. After my first meeting I usually introduced myself as a porn addict and then talked in non-specific terms during my sharing like "acting out". Many men with the same addiction just introduced themselves as addicts and I wouldn't know we shared the same one until they told me privately. Addicts don't care if yours is different, they simply understand that you are struggling and the details aren't important.

My wife was afraid that her addiction (food) would be belittled by the "real" addicts. She ended up enjoying her general meeting so much that she didn't want to go to the wives meeting when it started.

If you live in Utah close to the Wasatch Front they also have meetings just for women who deal with sexual addiction in both Salt Lake and Davis counties at least.

If you're like my wife and don't feel that you can go to more than one meeting a week, you could alternate.

Just a thought, take it for what it's worth."
posted at 10:17:43 on June 19, 2008 by justjohn

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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990