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Day 42!
By toes_23
5/27/2008 12:29:08 PM
I think I blogged about this earlier.. but I guess I just want to write down some thoughts that I've had lately, sorry if I repeat myself.

I finally feel good about moving on to step two. I didn't think that step one would take me so long, but I didn't think that "wanting to have the desire to abstain" would be so hard. But I feel like I have prayed for the desire to abstain enough. Now that the desire is there, and that i have been successful for awhile, I feel as if I am ready to move on! Yeah!

My husband also has the same problems with addiction as I do. He has not been doing as well as I have. I know that he is working on it. It makes me sad sometimes when one of us is doing so well and the other one of us is failing miserably. A few months ago it was I who was failing and he was doing so well. I am glad I am married to a man who I can have empathy for in this addiction.

I can't imagine harboring bitterness and hate towards his addiction. It is after all an addiction. He is working on it. I know that it will be a constant decision every day for the both of us, to not give in.

Again I am so grateful for the atonement! It is so wonderful to be able to be married to my sweetheart in the temple for eternity! I love that Heavenly Father had created a way for us to be forgiven! It is so wonderful to me that even though we are not perfect, that there is still a way to return to him!

Comments:

Great Job, Toes!!!!!!!!!    
"Keep up the good work. Step Two is all about Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. Here's a suggestion: 1) Get your notebook 2) Forget everything you've learned about God for a moment. 3) Now make a wish list of all the qualities and attributes you would want in your own personal God. The trick is to not write what you already "think" you know about God but instead write about what you "want" in a personal God.

When my sponsor had me do this I wrote the obvious things like "loving, kind, forgiving" and importantly, I left out things like, "condemning, punishing, wrathful" even though I had read those things about God in the scriptures. The beautiful lesson in Step Two is the realization that everything you write down is true of God. All those "negative" attributes we thought were God are really judgements upon various "groups" of people. On a personal level, our Savior is nothing but forgiveness, love, long-suffering and patience. Nowhere do we find in the scriptures God abandoning someone; nowhere do we find someone who just sinned TOO much for His redemption. Step Two teaches us that as powerless and unmanageable as our lives have become because of addiction, our Savior waits with open arms and the neat part is He knows that it won't be a perfect journey on our part. He knows we'll stumble, He knows there will be times when we are very ashamed of ourselves-even in recovery. The promise is that He hasn't brought us this far to let us fall into oblivion. He is always there taking a "personal" interest in our recovery. He isn't insulted by our sins. He knows they're necessary. Perhaps what saddens Him is when we fail to apply His Atonement that we may be healed. Well done, Toes! Someone in my meeting said something kinda funny...He called the 12 Steps, "Repentence for Dummies" I can relate to that. I've also heard a bishop call the 12 Steps, "The most in-depth repentence process he's ever seen"
Whatever you may believe, there are those who have followed simple suggestions and worked these Steps with another addict and actually had the obssession to act out removed. That is the miracle of the program. GRACE. I hope you are one of these people because you deserve it! Good luck."
posted at 19:46:20 on May 27, 2008 by Anonymous


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"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006