Leaning into the pain
By Cool Hand Luke
4/27/2008 1:44:14 AM
I recently started going to group therapy, a program called life star. one of the things they say you have to do is lean into the pain when you start going through withdrawals. its difficult though because the more i come to understand withdrawal the more i feel like im not myself when im going through them. how do you make good decisions when your not feeling like yourself? They say you need to do things that get your thinking from the limbic system (pleasure center) to the frontal lobe. And have replacement activity. Ones that will likely appease your limbic system. I guess thats what I'm trying to do here.

I just read this on wikipedia. (The limbic system is also tightly connected to the prefrontal cortex. Some scientists contend that this connection is related to the pleasure obtained from solving problems.) Maybe the addiction isn't so bad after all. At least it gives us a major problem to solve.

they also say you have to replace the addiction. I have been trying to replace it with skydiving. if there was ever a time to put it to the test tomorrow (if i can hold out till then) would seem the best time to try. How long do withdrawals last? I have dreams all through the night, head aches, insomnia, weird sleeping habits during the day, most of all my mind just seems non compliant, dazed, zoned, completely unfocused. I seem to gravitate to boredom. It's almost as if my mind (subconsciously) does not get what it wants then it doesn't want anything at all. I want to believe thats not true. I want to believe I don't "need" this. It seems so pathetic. I guess I'm cool with it as long as I can come to understand whats going on and do something about it. That's why I have chosen skydiving as my replacement. cause I'm wondering if i can jump start my brain at such an extreme level, bathing it in hungered for neurotransmitters, that it may be a close enough fix. At that point perhaps I can feel after I've studied my scriptures and went to the gym and prayed and done a few other things I have done "all I can do" and be saved by grace. I know I need to keep it simple and realize I'm in the Lords hands too. Maybe I'm way off base but it's worth a try because I haven't figured it out yet.

Right now though this really sucks. I know I'm in trouble when I feel the adrenalin go into my hands and arms, my legs get weak, my chest starts pumping, my lungs start breathing, my stomach gets butter flies and I get light headed. It's at that point I feel high jacked and something has got to give or I'm a goner. It's funny I do feel the same sensations when I go skydiving. Except I feel great when I hit the ground.


Hang in there    
"Alcohol can take up to five days to physically leave your system. Most drugs leave between the three day and five day mark. Personally, I remember the third day as being the worst day of detox and each day after that much better. Good luck."
posted at 13:27:32 on April 27, 2008 by Anonymous

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"One of the great myths in life is when men think they are invincible. Too many think that they are men of steel, strong enough to withstand any temptation."

— James E. Faust

General Conference, April 2002