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Tired and Sore
By chubbygirl
4/23/2008 9:38:11 PM
Hi; My name is Chubbygirl, and that is probably a kind term for me. I'm 5'8" and weigh 315 lbs. About 3 years ago I lost 120 lbs and felt fantastic. But then a few major crisis happened in my life and the weight gradually came back on. About a year later I was a 100 lbs heavier and now am 125 lbs heavier. To make matters worse I have severe arthritis in my knees. Every step taken is with pain. My doctor told me that I have "a gun to my head". My knees are shot. I also am a borderline diabetic. You think that with these two major health concerns that I would be motivated to get the weight off, but here I sit blogging on the computer, depressed and feeling a real sense of hopelessness. I just got back from going out to dinner with my Mom and my sister. I had a steak, baked potato, vegetables, and cheesecake for dessert. Its like I eat every meal like it is my last one. I need help. I have been burdened with my weight since I was a teenager and I am now 46 years old. I need to overcome this addiction so that I can fully serve my Heavenly Father in the way that he intended me to. I know that I have a purpose on this earth. And Heavenly Father continues to lovingly wait for me. In the mean time I suffer, my wonderful husband suffers, and my children suffer. I have 5 great kids ranging in age from 22 - 13. The first 4 are boys and my youngest is a girl. What I find heart breaking is that my daughter is starting to follow after me. I can't bare that. I have to do this, but I cant' do it alone. I am going to set some goals over the next week.
1. to go to my doctor and get some help with the depression I'm dealing with. Dealing with the pain of arthritis is very debilitating, and depression is common for people who deal with chronic pain.
2. To go to my Bishop and sign up for addiction recovery through LDS Family Services.
3. To become apart of this online program. I feel Heavenly Father has prompted me to go this way. I plan to log in twice a day. I wouldn't mind a sponsor, but I'm not sure how to go about that. Any suggestions?

Talk soon- Chubbygirl

Comments:

no expert, but    
"If I were you I would look into some form of water aerobics. It would certainly be easier on your joints than most forms of exercise.
It is interesting how we each pick our own poisons in life, so to speak. I love food too, and whenever I eat too much (I know when it is gratuitous) it makes me feel bad too. There will always be pressure to eat a lot. Something tastes so good, or to prove that I am a 'man' I need to have a "healthy" appetite. I have to be careful not to delude myself and not to give into the peer pressure to eat more. Even good people (friends and family) expect me to eat a lot which makes things difficult.
One thing that helps me out is to take a little bit of time each day to think about what makes me happy in life. I really like the 2nd chapter of 2nd Nephi, where Lehi is talking about opposition, commandments, and happiness. There was a time when I wasn't sure that what he was talking about was true, so I made a big list of all of the things that made me happy and that made me feel good until I was completely convinced.
Taking small steps forward make me happy. Doing something makes me happy (avoiding idleness). Really, I truly feel happy when I put my effort into following the commandments and learning/doing good works.
Remember, we are here to have joy, and when we turn to God he will uplift us and care for us. Good luck and God bless you."
posted at 04:06:33 on April 24, 2008 by roast_rump
I have an eating disorder, too    
"I'm just beginning recovery, myself. I found an eating disorder recovery support group at lds.net. There are also addiction recovery support groups there but I have not checked them out yet. I intend to do so today. Where I live there are no lds family services addiction recovery groups (not in the entire state!) so I cannot attend meetings in person. I'm having to rely upon online resources.

I have the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program manual. I am trying to work the program but it is very difficult for me to do alone. I'd love to be able to communicate with you on this, if you think it would be helpful to you. I believe it would be helpful to me. :-) I use the same username at lds.net.

It sounds like you have made some very wise goals for this week. Congratulations! That's an excellent start."
posted at 08:27:20 on May 1, 2008 by rebmik
Hi REBMIK    
"I have also started the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program. I downloaded it off of the internet. I'm still on step one. I just found out that we are starting an addiction recovery program in my small home town. Our town is predominantly LDS and I'm particularly nervous about going. I don't know if I'm ready to see who else would be there. I'm going to go talk to my Bishop about it. I would love to talk with you as we work through the program. I've learned that though much of the battle with eating is fought alone. It sure is nice to have a partner."
posted at 20:33:07 on May 5, 2008 by chubbygirl
I am with you all the way hon    
"There is an online support group for lds. It is not church sanctioned but it usese the Book of Mormon for its background and 12step study. It is just another lds resource for recovery. There are onlime meetings in the morning on this recovery area. You can reach it by going to Heart-t-Heart.org and going to the online meetings and logging on there. There are also forums and other areas of interest to the lds addict."
posted at 08:14:15 on May 14, 2008 by frog
The Lamb    
"A lamb fur has oils in it,that helps fight the arthritis for your legs. cosco sells a nice lamb skin. You should treat yourself to one and trade one habbit for a talent.The Lamb of God has given us oppertunites in his precepts.I pray that you would find your path in righteousness to overcome these temporal burdens of the flesh."
posted at 00:11:38 on April 18, 2009 by teancum
My Prayers go Out    
"I feel your burden, I too have fought against things that I could not overcome. I could not win, but we can win, don't go it alone. I don't know if you are still blogging but I am praying for you today. I love the book he did deliver me from bondage your story is very much like the authors. Please pick it up and work through the steps with me. Please shed the hurt that you have covered up with the weight. I love you sister."
posted at 09:31:06 on April 20, 2009 by sobermind
God bless you    
"Chubbygirl,

I feel like you took my thoughts and feelings and wrote them down for me. Food addictions are so hard. We can't abstain from food.

I can tell you that I run an ARP meeting in my ward. If the one near you is anything like ours, you will feel welcome in no time and begin to really feel our Heavenly Father's love for you as well. We have such an awesome group and we laugh as well as cry - every meeting! I always feel so much better after a meeting.

I wish you well and hope that you find success and support."
posted at 18:24:28 on September 3, 2009 by sistershan


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"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."

— Jeffrey R. Holland

General Conference, April 2006