Hard Times
By toes_23
4/1/2008 8:54:32 PM
In the Addiction Recovery Program manual on step five it says "A common characteristic of many who have suffered from addiction (you or your spouse) is a sense of isolation."
The best thing for me has been the wonderful open communication that I have with my spouse. We have a code word and a rating system that we use when we are struggling with our addictions. He says " I had a hard time." and I ask "How hard?" and then he tells me on a scale of one to five "how hard" of a time he has had. One being trouble controlling thoughts, five being full blown masturbation. (or vice-a-versa)
We have had this "code" for most of our marriage. It leaves things open for communication without having to worry about who is listening to us. I think that as we have gone to group and worked through the steps that we have been able to be more open and honest with each other. It is easier for me to go to him and tell him that I have had a "hard time."
It's wonderful to know that I AM NOT ALONE. I have the unfortunate fortune of sharing the same addiction with my husband, it has helped us grow and develop a deeper eternal love for each other.


"I once again have had another hard week. I suppose my triggers are stress related. I just hate how I am indecisive on whether or not I want to give up my addiction... well I WANT to give it up.. I just feel that it is so reinforcing for me. There doesn't seem to be an immediate negative consequence, but there is an immediate positive one. "
posted at 19:20:43 on April 15, 2008 by toes_23
Maybe it has nothing to do with indecision?    
"Let me guess...deep down in your heart of hearts you hate acting out in your addiction, you wish you were righteous and clean? But, alas, there come those times when all that goes straight out the window and all you care about is getting your "fix"??? It's not a matter of "indecision", it's "addiction"
You described addiction to a tee. If it were a matter of choice we would have stopped long ago. The fact that those moments of obssession come and cancel out our true righteous desires is a symptom of addiction and there's only one solution that I've found that works."
posted at 19:45:26 on April 16, 2008 by Anonymous

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"I will speak briefly of the principle of repentance. How grateful I am for the understanding we have of this great principle. It is not a harsh principle, as I thought when I was a boy. It is kind and merciful. The Hebrew root of the word means, simply, "to turn," or to return, to God. Jehovah pled with the children of Israel: "Return . . . and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful . . . and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God." When we acknowledge our sins, confess them and forsake them, and turn to God, He will forgive us."

— Richard G. Hinckley

General Conference April 2006