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When do you need to confess to the bishop?
By c2
2/12/2008 11:40:40 AM
I have struggled off an on with masturbation, but I have never looked at porn. I have talked to bishops in the past and resolved the issue. I recently returned home from a mission and find myself masterbating 1-2 times a month. Is it really that bad? Do I need to talk to the bishop about it? I don't really think it is a big deal, I know it is a normal thing and I dont think I am really addicted because I went my whole mission without doing it and I rarely did it before. I just am feeling a lot of pent up tension and stress and find myself masterbating to relieve it. I know I'm not going to hell or anything like that, and it seems when I have talked to the bishops in the past they just say try not to do it and nothing really happens to me. I mean no church disipline or anything. They don't seem to concerned so is the occassional masterbation something you need to confess to the bishop?

Comments:

You should in this situation...    
"Go and talk to your bishop. Ask him these same questions and then see what he says. Just because the people of the world think it's okay doesn't mean that it really is. Plus, if you are asking if you should go then it means you should."
posted at 12:33:41 on February 12, 2008 by Matrix
I agree with matrix    
"I would definitely go and see the bishop. Even if it is *just* masturbation, realize that it is addictive and leads to other addictive tendencies. It is just a matter of time and circumstance to get hooked on something worse.
I had similar questions/doubts about needing to see the bishop too. I didn't really have a problem with masturbation, I just looked at pornography. And only occasionally. Usually about twice a month, and almost never more than once a week. And I didn't even look at anything that was very explicit. Just whatever happened to be in an R-rated movie here or there. Or a few suggestive, yet not nude, photos here and there. I saw way less than the average person, I told myself. I didn't do it that often, and it wasn't that bad, was it? I wasn't buying any 'adult' material, wasn't watching explicit pornography, and wasn't even seeing anything that wasn't in the main-stream.
Anyway, see how I rationalized it? I could have been in the recovery process way earlier if I would have just confessed to the bishop, held nothing back, and had that been it. I wish that I would have. It is way easier talking to the bishop than telling your wife you screwed up. Much easier.
Anyway, there is a quote from the recovery manual that talks about being able to contribute peace to the world instead of taking peace from it. That is what we need to do. If we hold things back and are constantly wondering if it is bad enough to confess, etc., then we aren't contributing peace to the world. We are torn apart inside- even if just a little bit- and aren't able to be as happy and peaceful as we could be.
Sorry for rambling, and hope that helps in some way."
posted at 18:55:35 on February 12, 2008 by roast_rump
Does a bishop really need to know every time someone in his ward masturbates?    
"Stop maturbating! It's morally wrong! If you find that you can't stop, THEN go see the bishop.
You know if it's a problem or not. Sure, it's definately not "unusual" for a young man to masturbate sometime in their youth but don't fall into to worlds way of making it 'acceptable' For worthy mormons, it's NOT normal. But what worries me about your blog is how you say you are using it as a way to relieve pent-up tension and stress. Now THAT sounds like addcition. Conduct your own experiment...stop masturbating. That will show you whether you're an addict or not."
posted at 19:13:34 on February 12, 2008 by Anonymous
Stay Steadfast...    
"First off... congratulations on your mission! thats allways fun...

If you are not sure if you need to see the bishop that probably means you do need to see the bishop... yes we are not perfect mabey we might accidently slip However! make sure you stop this right away... if you have the right atatude you can review what happened that lead up to your problem, pray and recomimit to try again. dont let it overcome or stress you out, there is nothing wrong with a simple talk with your bishop. He will always help you and I am sure you are willing to stop this anyway. be carfull what you say and think... it sounds like you are trying to rationalize this problem... that excess stress, concerne, and guilt (wondering of it is bad) has the potential to cause even more problems is this area... Remember God will always love you and is willing to help you if you ask... pray to see if you need to see the bishop... or simply pray asking for forgiveness from that problem so that you can relieve yourself from your stress and worries. There is no need to fear or wonder (in concern) if your confedence is strong in the lord. Stay Steadfast and inmovable... and you will not have to ask the "is this really that bad" question... ...kool!"
posted at 10:48:50 on February 13, 2008 by gondor44646
Thanks for the advice    
"I will go and talk with my bishop. In fact I went out and bought the addiction recovery workbook, even though I don't think I am an addict. I think it will be fun to go through and help me even more. I used that book on my mission with members and investigators as well as in my work as a therapist. Just to let you all know I am a girl and not a guy. LOL thanks for the advice, this blog thing is pretty cool."
posted at 15:57:22 on February 13, 2008 by c2
Addict or not?    
"Hi C2,

Who can say if you are an addict or not, or if you need to see your Bishop? But it sounds like YOU are concerned. Going to 12 step meetings is a wonderful support and a good place to talk about what you feel. A listing of meetings is available on providentliving.org. LDS Family Services' Guide to Addiction Recover and Healing is a wonderful book that ANYONE can benefit from reading. I wish everyone in the Church would get a copy and work the 12 steps. Everyone's life needs a little improvement. (By the way, there are 'women only' meetings as well as those for men). Good luck."
posted at 12:29:43 on February 28, 2008 by Kris
I've heard it said...    
"If you stop the behavior and the problems go away, then you're probably not an addict. If you stop the behavior and the problems start, well then, you're probably an addict.

Only you can decide."
posted at 17:05:59 on February 28, 2008 by Anonymous
my opinion    
"I told my bishop that i was masturbating ,he told me that every body has done it.But we need to master our selfs .So i decided to work on it and prayed and read books and scriptures now has been almost a mnth since havent masturbated and i am able to feel the spirit more constantly"
posted at 18:51:53 on May 21, 2008 by amazing man
ben.    
"what happens to one who musterbates on mission does he get sent home?"
posted at 03:50:09 on September 5, 2011 by Anonymous
No    
"Especially if the missionary confesses versus gets caught."
posted at 14:56:28 on September 6, 2011 by Anonymous
See your bishop    
"and tell him that you masturbate to relieve pent up stress and tension. Don't let him shrug it off. Tell him your concerns and that you don't want to become an addict. You need to get to the roots of your problem, and find a legitimate way to deal with your stress and tension. I'm and old guy and I am an addict (no porn), and the way I became like that was because I masturbated to relieve stress, tension, and to medicate my pain and anxiety. I was sexually abused when I was five (by a girl in junior high school) and I started masturbating then. In my teen years, I used it as escapism from an extremely toxic family. My mission gave me PTSD, and I started again right after I came home. I also made out with girls a lot in junior high school and college (but not high school). That was also part of my addiction. There have been periods, some long, when I haven't even had the desire to masturbate, but for some reason, it always comes back, even in my fifties. Which is why I'm starting the program. You're at a point where you can ward this off, I think. Don't get into an addiction, because you won't be able to get a temple recommend, or hold certain positions in your ward, etc., but most of all because it's wrong."
posted at 16:46:02 on September 6, 2011 by ddg
Hi    
"Is masturbation wrong, because everything I've read is a 50-50 yes no thing.."
posted at 15:43:19 on December 18, 2011 by Anonymous
Yes    
"It is self sex and it is right in the world, but wrong with God. Sex is only to be with a man and his wife. Not her with herself, not him, with himself, and not with other people.

The Lord is very clear."
posted at 23:10:02 on December 18, 2011 by Anonymous
its been awhile    
"My bishop says masturbation is something I can take up with the lord and repent of, I don't need to come in and repent to him every time I do it."
posted at 00:37:41 on June 5, 2012 by c2
Your bishop is your "Judge in Israel"    
"meaning that he is the one who is authorized to help you and to receive inspiration regarding your particular situation, and we are all individuals with differing backgrounds and capabilities and understanding. Just do the best you can and follow his counsel.

I assume that you're still able to go to the Temple. If you can, go there frequently, once a week if possible. That might help you to keep on track better. Fill your life with good associations and good activities. You're a good person. Know that and act accordingly."
posted at 11:07:55 on June 8, 2012 by dog
thank you    
"I try telling people here not to be so hard on themselves for this, especially teens"
posted at 03:02:44 on June 9, 2012 by moronidenovo
Conscience    
"It is fantastic that you worry about this, it means you have the Holy Ghost still with you. Talk to your bishop he will totally respect that you want to change. You can take the action of what he sais and day by day strive to become like Christ."
posted at 02:14:30 on May 22, 2013 by Anonymous
hurt    
"This will sound awful. My husband was addicted to porn n masterbation. Hes gone to bishops. N hes going to 12 step hes slipped up a few times w masterbation not porn anymore. I have found out about it n became upset n angry trying to figure out what is so pleasing about masterbation so i did it my self twice out of revenge n stupidity. I wont do itanymore n have no desire to ive repent to my heavenly father n my husband do i need to go to bishop because i know with surity it wont be a problem ever again."
posted at 01:52:19 on August 7, 2013 by Anonymous
Imperfections    
"You told your husband? That's good. Honesty is important. I hope he's always telling you the truth about his problems. If he is, he's a good guy. We all make mistakes—it's being honest about our mistakes and repenting that matters.

You appear to be honest about your mistakes, too. That's great! Welcome to the site.

I would say you shouldn't worry about your little experiments in the slightest—don't give them another thought. The real question is why did you do it?

Your desire for revenge might be a bigger problem than what you did—if you still feel that way and you don't find an appropriate way to express those feelings. Not that you shouldn't feel that way. You have every right to feel that way. We all have strong emotions that are not our fault — that's not sin. But harboring those feelings will make us unhappy if we don't deal with them. Maybe some of the sisters on this site can make suggestions on how to deal with those feelings.

Just a thought, perhaps you could tell your husband that the next time he feels like masturbating, he should just do it in front of you. Then, he won't be hiding anything, and you won't have to get mad at him."
posted at 03:53:43 on August 7, 2013 by beclean
hurt    
"Ok. Thank you. Yes im really honest guess why him hiding it doesnt help. But all i can do is be wise n not let his actions effect mine. Not good for either one of us. Just put my trust in God n hope he will continue to be true to what he says because i told him i would. Thank you for your comment."
posted at 08:15:54 on August 7, 2013 by Anonymous
Only a few    
"There are only a very few men who can just promise never to masturbate or look at porn and then keep that promise. That's because they've been doing it for years, long before they met their wives. Your husband's masturbation has NOTHING to do with you. He's not doing it to hurt you. He's not doing it because he doesn't love you or because you aren't pretty. He's doing it because it's a drug he's addicted to, and he has been for years. This drug releases all kinds of feel good chemicals, and it works EVERY TIME. He's been using it as his best, maybe only, way to cope with life when life gets stressful or boring or hard. He probably can't keep a promise never to do it again because life is going to get hard again... And he won't know what to do then. He needs to learn new habits and new ways to deal with stress and take care of himself so that he gets stressed less often. That can take years. So, for your own sake, so that you aren't hurt by him, please don't expect him to never ever do this again. That's like him expecting you to never get stressed and eat chocolate or sweets or junk food again. Could you make that promise and keep it for the rest of your life? He is not bad or trying to hurt you; he needs help ridding himself of poor living habits and replacing them with new ones. It's possible that you do, too, so you can work on it together! Kick it (on this site) might say your husband needs evil spirits cast out of him, and that may also be true, but even that requires your husband to learn new habits after the evil spirits are gone so they won't return."
posted at 09:48:36 on August 7, 2013 by beclean
Hope    
"So are you saying he wont stop. That he cant ever beat it? I dont believe that to be true. So whats next making new habits? Hes not a stressful guy dont think its that way for him. Theres no ryme or reason n yes its like a drug. But i hate to see him come so far as to do it all over again everyday . We want to be sealed how is it possible if we cant get passed it?My last husband is done w the church . Member all his life. Sealed in the temple n he just wanted the world so bad. I know my husband now is a better man n a god fearing man n w gods help he will beat this i know hes not over it 100% but one day he will be. Do we have to wait for that to be sealed?"
posted at 20:32:20 on August 7, 2013 by Anonymous
Its kept me from going to the temple    
"Its a problem, and its not fun to admit to doing. I'm a girl as well and I understand your struggle. I've never messed with porn or anything, but it is definitely something that can lead to other things. It has allowed me to have thoughts in my head that I don't ever want to happen, that I have never thought before but now they have surfaced. It needs to be under control. Good luck and know that you are loved by a perfect God and that He will forgive you! and He will bless you. Study the atonement and know that it applies to you always!"
posted at 22:22:20 on August 7, 2013 by daisy
You misunderstood    
"Anonymous, your two attempts at masturbation are not the same as Daisy's extended struggles with it. If you are not still tempted to do it again, I personally don't believe YOU must confess to the Bishop; take care of it with God. But if you are worried about it, go right ahead. It can't hurt to see the bishop and have the guilt lifted. That's all I was trying to do, eliminate the stifling guilt that often causes us to dispair and then make other poor choices.

It is dispair, sorrow, fear, and the inability to forgive yourself that often fuel addiction. It's important for addicts to know they are normal, good people. Otherwise, they will keep turning to their addiction to help them feel better about themselves.

I didn't say your husband can't overcome it. Of course he can!! All I suggested is that he is not perfect and most men can't stop cold turkey this addiction they have had for more than half of their life. You need to be prepared for him to struggle with it as he tries to overcome. Maybe he won't! Then you'll be really happy. But if he does struggle, and you aren't prepared for struggling, you'll only become more depressed and angry, and that's not good for either of you. He needs to learn new habits. That CAN take a long time, and he will need help from people who have gone down the same road before him. But he absolutely can do it!

And your husband doesn't have to be perfect before you can be sealed. He won't ever be in this life. And the sexual urges and desires won't ever go away. That's how you know he's a man and he's alive. If his urges stop, he's dead. However, he can control them and be faithful to you.

Are there group meetings in your area for spouses of addicts? Ask your bishop."
posted at 11:20:45 on August 8, 2013 by beclean
I agree    
"I feel good. I know hes doing his best. No i have no want or desires to do that at all!!! Ive got bad an axiety n self esteem issues that haunt me from yrs of thgs in marriages. I depend to much on my husband n need to start worrying about myself. This is my new habit. Not letting others affect my thinking or changing who i am. I can be better at this n cope better just have to get in the right state of mind. Im on bed rest for pregnancy ( his first) so i guess all i do is worry , but did that before to anyways. Just need to take up a good book n start writting in my journals again . Help bring me some peace with constant worry for my husband. N alot of prayers . Less negativity. I always assume the worst because thats what the outcome has been in the past. Gotta get rid of the past n look forward more. Thanks for ur comments."
posted at 10:48:43 on August 9, 2013 by Anonymous
Mosiah 26:29 "if he confess his sins...him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also"    
"Is Masturbation wrong?
President Spenser W. Kimball, “I believe the youth of Zion want to hear the clear and unmistakable tones of the trumpet, and it is my hope, that I can play the tune with accuracy and precision so that no honest person will ever be confused. I hope fervently that I am making clear the position of the Lord and his church on these unmentionable practices. Self-abuse: Masturbation, a rather common indiscretion, is not approved of the Lord nor of his church, regardless of what may have been said by others whose “norms” are lower. Latter-day Saints are urged to avoid this practice. Anyone fettered by this weakness should abandon the habit before he goes on a mission or receives the holy priesthood or goes in the temple for his blessings.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1980/10/president-kimball-speaks-out-on-morality?lang=eng
First Presidency, ““Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body. Pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit so that you can be clean and virtuous. The Spirit of the Lord will withdraw from one who is in sexual transgression.” (For the Strength of Youth [pamphlet, 2011])
“In modern society, it is far too common a tragedy for young people to cultivate a strong sexual appetite even before they begin to date. Children should be taught…what masturbation is and why it is wrong. Parents who avoid guiding their children in this matter do them a disservice. “Talking with Your Children…” Ensign, 12-1986
After we gain a testimony that the Law of Chastity forbids the behavior of masturbation, we may receive more light and knowledge that God’s law also requires repentance of our lustful thoughts:
ELDER DALLIN H. OAKS, OCT. 1995, “The First Presidency has declared that “there is a distinction between [1] immoral thoughts and feelings and [2] participating in either immoral heterosexual or any homosexual behavior.” Although immoral thoughts are less serious than immoral behavior, such thoughts also need to be resisted and repented of because we know that “our thoughts will also condemn us” (Alma 12:14).”
“And verily I say unto you, as I have said before, he that looketh on a woman to lust after her, or if any shall commit adultery in their hearts, they shall not have the Spirit, but shall deny the faith and shall fear… the…whoremonger…shall have their part in that flake which burneth with fire & brimstone which is the second death…that they shall not have part in the first resurrection…I, the Lord, say unto you that ye are not justified, because these things are among you. 20 Nevertheless, he that endureth in faith & doeth my will, the same shall overcome & shall receive an inheritance upon the earth when the day of transfiguration shall come” (D&C63:16-20).
What can we do if we violate the law of chastity by fantasizing about a lustful thought or masturbating?
First pray:
“If you feel…carnal minded…in any way, turn immediately to the Father and allow Him to replace these thoughts with peace. As you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, you can also discover any negative beliefs you still hold. Ask your Father in Heaven to remove these…must continue to live by spiritual principles. If you stray from them, repent immediately and ask God at once to restore your peace through His Spirit.” (A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, Step 10, ¶ 5-6 and Step 10, Action Step # 2)
Then confess to the bishop:
“Admit to…proper priesthood authority…the exact nature of your wrongs…Confession also involved seeking forgiveness from the Lord through prayer and through any necessary priesthood channels. Priesthood leaders play a critical role in the process of repentance. They will keep your confession confidential and help you throughout the process of repentance…a priesthood leader …who understands the recovery process usually responds with understanding and compassion. Be completely honest with them. If you partially confess…you will not be able to resolve a more serious, undisclosed transgression…turn to the Lord’s authorized servants…Great blessings can come from the Lord through those who hold priesthood keys…” (A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, Step 5, and Step 12).
What should you expect after you pray and confess to your bishop?
“if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also” (Mosiah 26:29).

“That’s another satanic suckerpunch-that it takes years & years & eons of eternity to repent. It takes exactly as long to repent as it takes you to say, “I’ll change”—and mean it. …change, growth, renewal, & repentance can come for you as instantaneously as for Alma and the sons of Mosiah.” Holland, For Times of Trouble BYU3/80
“I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness” (D&C 64:7)."
posted at 11:42:11 on August 9, 2013 by Anonymous
The M Word    
"It looks as if everything that needs to be said has been said, but I will add my two bits.

I was also addicted to mb before and after my mission, and I did not slip up at all while on my mission. Does it feel good and pleasurable? Sure it does. Does it relieve tension. You bet. But there are a multitude of downsides which are not realized in the short term. We are here to follow the plan of salvation, and the plan of salvation is about joy and not pleasure. The difference? Joy requires short term pain, heartache, perseverance, and selfless service in order to gain long term happiness that will be realized in the eternities if not here on earth. Pleasure is diametrically opposite to this spiritual construct, and mb only impedes our spiritual growth.

Think back to the time when you had this under control. You felt clean and spiritually confident before the Lord. I imagine you don't feel that way anymore. Now you feel at least a small amount of guilt and you want to justify your actions. It is amazing how the adversary leads us along and then when you look back you see how far you strayed from the path.

You can get this under control and feel good about yourself again. See this less about confessing to the Bishop and more of a path to feeling good again."
posted at 23:38:34 on August 9, 2013 by stayingclean
Question    
"Will I go to hell for having sex before I'm married? What will happen if I confess to my bishop?"
posted at 14:50:42 on August 31, 2013 by Anonymous
You are probably already in hell if you had sex    
"If you are a good person inside, with desires to serve God and keep his commandments, then you may be feeling extremely conflicted, worried, torn, shamed, guilty. I believe that this life, when combined with those stressful, depressing feelings, IS hell. That is what we call the "buffetings of Satan," and it's not fun. Turning to Christ through repentance, including meeting with the bishop and willingly following his counsel, can rid you of those feelings and rescue you from your hell.

You can also ignore those feelings now and feel them at some later point. But that's not a good plan.

Jesus doesn't want you to feel these bad feelings longer than you need to to turn to him and follow him. He has the Way if Happiness. Your bishop is there to cry with you and help you get through the process. He loves you. Go see him, if you need to. He will do what he is inspired to do for your benefit. He's not going to ridicule or embarrass you. He's going to help.

But unrepented premarital sex will not land a soul in outer darkness or in some future eternal hell. Such unrepentant sinners still receive a kingdom of glory. I wouldn't worry about "hell," like some kid worried her parents will spank her. Instead, I'd be more worried about the unhappy feelings it's causing you right now, and make the necessary changes to be happy again. God loves you, and you have infinite worth no matter what you have done. Ask him to guide you through repentance. He is there."
posted at 16:43:54 on August 31, 2013 by beclean
Please help/ I dont know what to do    
"I have a question as well, if thats ok? Before i was baptized i used to masturbate, i wasn't a mormon so i didn't think it was bad. I havent done it on purpose but when i am sleeping somehow i am masturbating and i wake up not having control over what happened and i feel like i didnt even do it on purpose. I have made sure that i didnt just do it any more on purpose like i used to before i was baptized.. so when i have not done it at all i dont understand how tht happens to me while im sleeping.. i get really mad because i feel like i had no control over it and didn't do it on purpose.. do i need to talk to my bishop? i dont feel i should or tht i would be comfortable with telling him about that when its not even on purpose i dont even know im doing it. It has happend at least 4 times, BUT thats only in the past year, which is not too bad but i dont understand why tht is happening to me while i sleep.. i just wake up and im like what the heck.. Any help from you guys or what you think i should do i would extremely appreciate it. Should i just keep praying unto heavenly father to help me and not have tht happen in my dreams and still ask for forgiveness from him about it??"
posted at 21:12:22 on August 31, 2013 by sara123
good point, kick it    
"Guilt has its purpose. I guess I'm used to the addict mentality of over doing it."
posted at 01:08:01 on September 1, 2013 by beclean
Sara    
"I wouldn't even worry about what happens in your sleep. Don't let it bother you at all."
posted at 01:08:34 on September 1, 2013 by beclean
BECLEAN    
"thank you, i really needed a 2nd opinion. i just have been thinking about it a lot, so i kept thinking tht i had to talk to the bishop or something and repent but it hasn't happened after i got baptized on purpose."
posted at 22:34:46 on September 1, 2013 by sara123
OK Sara    
"You now have one opinion from me and one opinion from someone else on this site, and we both completely agreed with each other. You have nothing to worry about.

But if you are still worried about it, the thing to do is go tell your bishop. If what you have told us is true, he will not punish you. He will simply tell you not to worry about it, just as we have done.

There is no need to repost your question over and over again on this website. Everyone can see all five times you have posted the same thing. If no one else is answering, it's probably because everyone who sees the question agrees with the answers that have already been given.

Welcome to the website. If you have any other concerns or if you want to share your opinion on any of the other topics were discussing, please go right ahead."
posted at 09:45:31 on September 2, 2013 by beclean
BECLEAN    
"ok thank, i kept refreshing the page and it kept reposting it.. sorry. But thank you"
posted at 12:02:30 on September 2, 2013 by sara123
Elder Boyd K. Packer was entirely clear on this matter, Sara    
"he said that nocturnal emissions (dreams that result in orgasm for boys/men, so called "wet dreams") are not evil and that you don't need to confess them, and that you shouldn't feel guilty about them. It applies to sisters as well as to brothers. And he is perhaps the straightest of the brethren on matters of chastity.

That being said, I had a similar problem, except that I would actually wake up before the dream had finished, and I would be so groggy that I was almost defenseless, it seemed, against continuing it. So in my half-awake (or 1/10th awake) state, I would continue, but almost never to completion. Usually only for seconds before I stopped. I confessed these things to my bishop several times, and he finally told me (and this is written in my journal) that I would have to determine whether I was accountable in my groggy state. Hmmm. Isn't it just like the Lord to leave some things to us and expect us to grow and come closer to Him through it?

That being said, your case is clear cut: you should feel no guilt and you probably don't need to discuss it with the Bishop. Remember what several of the brethren have said, and Elder Scott reiterated some years ago: one of Satan's FAVORITE tools is unnecessary guilt, and he spoke specifically of sins that have been repented of and confessed and therefore forgiven, but for which someone still feels guilty.

If you want to discuss this with your Bishop, you're certainly welcome to. It will clear up any misconceptions. Plus, he has the power of discernment in his position and he might be able to determine if something deeper is troubling you and this might be a precursor to an addiction. If you're doing this in your sleep just because you're healthy and have a strong sexual desire, that's o.k. If you're unconsciously self-medicating (as I did for years), then you need to find out what pains you're trying to soothe or what voids you're trying to fill in your sleep, before they surface in your waking hours and take over your life with an addiction like mine.

Welcome to the site and we all wish you the best."
posted at 10:29:05 on September 3, 2013 by dog
HELP    
"Ever since I can remember I have had a sort of sexual curiosity. I don't know why, but I did, and still do. I remember one day I began having strong sexual urges after watching a music video that was pretty provocative. I think I may have been in 6th grade. Anyway, after that I get into a habit of what you call masterbating. I had no idea it was wrong, and I had no idea what it even was until very recently. I am 16 now, and I don't know what to do. I know it is a sin for sure now (I wasnt positive that it was a sin until I found this site, but I felt guilty. whenever I did it). I am so glad that I have found this site, and I hope some of my questions will be answered to help me become clean again. I am so scared and I really hope someone can help me. I have been called to be the laurels president, so I have to leave behind this addiction. I say its an addiction be because I cannot stop now. Going to seminary is helping, but I find myself slipping every now and then. Nobody knows of my addiction as far as I know, and this is the first time I have ever confessed. Please please please help. I am terrified to the point of tears! I don't feel worthy to even look at the temple. I feel so worthless. Do I need to. talk to my bishop? Or can I just go through the repenting process on my own? What is the repenting process in this case?"
posted at 23:29:57 on September 8, 2013 by Anonymous
HELP    
"Ever since I can remember I have had a sort of sexual curiosity. I don't know why, but I did, and still do. I remember one day I began having strong sexual urges after watching a music video that was pretty provocative. I think I may have been in 6th grade. Anyway, after that I get into a habit of what you call masterbating. I had no idea it was wrong, and I had no idea what it even was until very recently. I am 16 now, and I don't know what to do. I know it is a sin for sure now (I wasnt positive that it was a sin until I found this site, but I felt guilty. whenever I did it). I am so glad that I have found this site, and I hope some of my questions will be answered to help me become clean again. I am so scared and I really hope someone can help me. I have been called to be the laurels president, so I have to leave behind this addiction. I say its an addiction be because I cannot stop now. Going to seminary is helping, but I find myself slipping every now and then. Nobody knows of my addiction as far as I know, and this is the first time I have ever confessed. Please please please help. I am terrified to the point of tears! I don't feel worthy to even look at the temple. I feel so worthless. Do I need to. talk to my bishop? Or can I just go through the repenting process on my own? What is the repenting process in this case?"
posted at 23:40:45 on September 8, 2013 by Anonymous
Anonymous    
"The fact that you're on here trying to get better signifies how full of worth you are. The first step is talking to your bishop. Sexual addiction isn't something that will just go away with scripture study, prayer and seminary, though I've found that all of those help a lot. You're bishop will help you through this, just like mine helped me, and it is only through him and God that you will truly be able to free yourself from this. That being said, all bishops are different. Some are great with helping people with addictions, and some REALLY suck :P You've gotta confess to him in order to receive God's full forgiveness though, and keep in mind he's been ordained by God, and will not judge you because of this. After confessing to your bishop and going through the steps he'll have you go through, you'll find that resisting temptation will be made much easier. But there's a chance that it will just keep coming back over and over again. I'll include a link at the bottom that's helped me a TON over the past few months. It's directed towards pornography addiction, but the principles Tony Litster puts out there are exactly the same for masturbating. The program is some really life-changing stuff, and I can personally attest that it help me dig myself out of a HUGE depression over my addiction, and helped with a ton of other aspects in my life...and it's all over E-mail and videos.
Good luck, anonymous!

http://curethecraving.com/"
posted at 03:36:06 on September 9, 2013 by john5
Anon    
"I know you feel fear and humiliation and guilt, but you don't need to go through that anymore. John5 is right. For sexually related sins you do need to go talk to your Bishop, but there is nothing to worry about that. It'll feel almost impossible to say the words but you can do it and the weight that is lifted is huge! He is there to help you and protect you not punish you.
I am also going to make just a small comment here about your calling....this experience will help you serve better. I am going to make up a number here, but I would guess that 80-90% of the girls you will serve will be having THE SAME problems, feelings and experiences you are. You will be able to serve them better as your testimony of the atonement grows. When you tell them you know that Jesus Christ is the healer of wounds, you will be able to say it with a conviction born of experience. God called you there for a reason and this is all part of that. Trust Him.
Don't ever doubt your worth. Christ died for you. He put His life on the scales on one side and you on the other and your worth tipped the balance so decisively that He never even questioned it. Therefore, when we belittle ourselves, we are on some level belittling Him. You are precious beyond anything in this known universe.
I was probably 14-15 before I even knew the word masturbation either. You absolutely can stop. Do you see that green button the says, "Recovery Manual". Click it. Download it. Start reading it EVERYDAY. Talk to your Bishop. Don't carry this one more second than you have to. You can do this. Thank you for reaching out for support. You are a very brave girl!"
posted at 05:11:39 on September 9, 2013 by Maddy
Help    
"I have had problems with masturbation for as long as I can remember. When I found out it was bad I told my parents and they said I didn't need to talk to the bishop because I was recognizing the problem and I felt so guilty about it. But after about a year, I had the problem again and I confessed to my bishop. I hadn't done it in a few months so he helped me to feel forgiven and free of my sin. But then a year later, I did it again. And again, I went to my bishop who told me I could be forgiven and that it was just a little slip up. Now my mission papers are in and my call should be coming soon but I've been stressed and struggling with inappropriate thoughts ever since I submitted my papers. I have had the problem again but have tried hard to stop as soon as I start. I know satan is working hard to get me not to go on a mission and I don't want to have any feelings of guilt out in the field. Do I need to confess again?"
posted at 05:35:10 on June 1, 2014 by Anonymous
Help    
"I have had problems with masturbation for as long as I can remember. When I found out it was bad I told my parents and they said I didn't need to talk to the bishop because I was recognizing the problem and I felt so guilty about it. But after about a year, I had the problem again and I confessed to my bishop. I hadn't done it in a few months so he helped me to feel forgiven and free of my sin. But then a year later, I did it again. And again, I went to my bishop who told me I could be forgiven and that it was just a little slip up. Now my mission papers are in and my call should be coming soon but I've been stressed and struggling with inappropriate thoughts ever since I submitted my papers. I have had the problem again but have tried hard to stop as soon as I start. I know satan is working hard to get me not to go on a mission and I don't want to have any feelings of guilt out in the field. Do I need to confess again?"
posted at 05:38:59 on June 1, 2014 by Anonymous
Anon    
"Hey there Anon - Welcome to the site.
So my answer is really simple. Yes, go talk to your bishop. Masturbation is not going to keep you from a mission if you are trying to stop and confession is part of that. Just pull in all the tools you can to get the help and support you need. Seriously, no worries. It is bad because it pulls us away from our Savior. Leave behind your shame and fear and lean 100% on the atonement.

You are getting ready for a HUGE life event. Your mission is going to involve lots of change and new experiences and insecurities. You know that. Your brain knows that and our brains seek comfort when we are edgey. Even good, anticipation edgy but especially anxious, fearful edgey. Masturbation is common during life events like this. Just spend some time thinking about the roots of the problem. Is there increased stress? Fear? Expectations from others? Stuff like that can trigger you back in to problems. Find the source of the problems and you'll do a lot better at stopping them because you'll know options to fix what really is triggering you. In the end, the solution is always the same. Even if we don't fully understand why we have the temptations. Jesus is always the solution."
posted at 15:14:58 on June 1, 2014 by maddy
Free Online Program    
"Hi Anon,
Maddy is right! Another thing that I have seen help is a free program (for those 20 and under) that really explains where this all came from, how we can recognize it and what steps to take to stop acting out. It is more than just stopping, you need to find what the source of the problem is.
You are SOOOOOO not alone! Congratulations on having courage and conviction to recognize it and moving forward. I wish there were more young men like you! Way to go!
Here is the link:
http://www.fortifyprogram.org/"
posted at 15:48:28 on June 1, 2014 by 1stepatatime
The heart of the matter    
"They still want your money at the end of the day. So jack off as much as you like, have a couple shots. Visit Starbucks often and do whatever you want to do, after all it's your life, not there's. Being mormon is like living a lie that's been passed on from one to the next. If they can lie to you about one thing, why can't they lie to you about everything"
posted at 02:32:37 on June 10, 2014 by Anonymous
The word    
"Why would God give you the natural desire to masturbate if it were not good for your development and serve to prepare you for marriage? It is part of his plan to prepare you for bonding with the one you love."
posted at 02:50:13 on June 10, 2014 by Anonymous


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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988