Am I alone?
By Matrix
11/17/2007 2:00:13 PM
I am a woman who is addicted to pornography and masturbation. I know that this is commonly associated with men so I feel like I'm alone in dealing with this addiction. I'm a new user here and I just want to know if there is anyone else out there like me. It's so hard to feel like I'm alone and have no one to turn towards to get support or to understand what I'm going through. I just don't want to go through it alone anymore.


Of course not    
"I know that in general help is very male focused...but I'd be willing to bet that for every 3-4 guys with this problem, there is probably a girl out there who is struggling. I myself struggled for many years. Before I even knew that what I was doing had a name, and that other people did it too. I was probably 10 or 12 when I started. It seemed like every other year I was getting up the nerve to go and talk with the bishop, but it was always shrugged off in a way....not that the bishop was dismissing the sin, but I don't think that they or I realized what an addictive power it really was. I never had any follow up with anyone, and it seemed harmless enough, I wasn't hurting anyone else right? So, I didn't get very serious about beating my habit until my sexual addiction lead me to rock bottom, sleeping with my boyfriend. Suddenly it was serious enough to warrant some real attention from my bishop, and some real repentance by me. What I wouldn't give to know what I know now, but like 10 years ago! There are support groups, there are steps to recovery, there is the atonement, and real repentance, there is HELP. Please know that you are not alone."
posted at 20:42:55 on November 18, 2007 by andie
Thank you Andie    
"Thank you so much Andie. You have no idea how much comfort that gives me knowing that there is at least one woman out there willing to come forward. Fortunately, I'm lucky enough to still be a virgin and I did talk to my bishop a year ago. I was doing so well for so long but I've just begun to relapse and I'm trying to pull myself out and was feeling very discouraged that I had no one to understand. I almost wish that I was addicted to drugs or alcohol because it seems more socially acceptable for a woman to be addicted to. You have given me hope. Thank you so much."
posted at 09:18:29 on November 19, 2007 by MATRIX
"Me too! I sometimes feel extremely alone in my situation. I am grateful to know that I am not the only one out there! I also (like Andie) started at a very young age 9 or 10. I even had a bishop ask me if I had been raped or sexually abused as a child because its a very rare thing for a woman to be having this sort of problem. It was years before I even learned what I was doing was wrong, by that time it was such a big problem I had no idea what to do.
My addiction eventually led me to sleep with my boyfriend (now husband) who also had similar problems. I didn't talk to a bishop about my addiction until I needed to talk to one about having sex. He seemed to think that the bigger problem was the fact that we'd had sex out of wed-lock. I only got "slapped on the hand" for my masturbation problem. I also thought that because we got married that the problem would go away. My husband and I did eventually get married in the temple but the problem is still there. It's been better but it hasn't gone away.
I am so grateful for the atonement and the course that it has (and still is) taking in my life. I am grateful for a bishop who suggested we go to group together... and now for this website that has helped me feel like I am not the only one out there."
posted at 18:03:27 on March 31, 2008 by toes_23
I love you!    
"Matrix it has been awhile since we have talked, and even longer since I have seen you here on this blog. I know life happens, and you've been pretty busy with life lately.

I've been thinking about you a lot these last few days and want to congratulate you on achieving your goal to have a temple marriage. You are an inspiration to me. I love the relationship that you have with your parents and with the Lord. You're testimony and friendship have meant so much to me these past couple of years and I thank you again for helping me to feel like I'm not alone.

--Always you're friend "
posted at 22:52:33 on September 4, 2010 by toes_23

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"Strength comes from uplifting music, good books, and feasting from the scriptures. Since the Book of Mormon was to come forth “when there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth” (Morm. 8:31), study of that book in particular will fortify us."

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988