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By sjanderson1
12/30/2015 2:36:29 PM
Okay
Here I am again, working on one day of sobriety. Frustrated with myself, trying to be patient with life and stuff, but so frustrated with money being short, job not being fulfilling, finding that p@rn is deceptive to suck me in to believe that there is a magical place far away that I can escape to. My struggle is that I am not being challenged in my work. I have wanted to excel, wanted to work hard, I don't mean to be a victim. Instead of writing this right now, I guess I could be vacuuming the office instead of sitting on the computer looking to be entertained. There are a lot of details that I don't have time to go into here, but suffice it to say I know how to work, there is no opportunity to do anything of value or contribute. In honesty I guess it is the holidays and people are on vacation and I should be not so hard on myself, but it is been years of this, wanting to get ahead, wanting to be challenged. I know as I said before I can be doing more, and in fact instead of droning on about how life is not fair I will go an do something like that, vacuum the floor, even though it isn't my job, it won't be noticed and it doesn't make a hill's worth of difference, but I can at least try and be transparent with God and myself.

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"Strength comes from uplifting music, good books, and feasting from the scriptures. Since the Book of Mormon was to come forth “when there shall be great pollutions upon the face of the earth” (Morm. 8:31), study of that book in particular will fortify us."

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988