Who cares?
By beclean
10/24/2015 4:12:49 PM
SJ, you and I need to learn not to care what our wives think about us. What they think is their decision and their problem, not ours. We can't change what they think; only they can.

Of course, it matters even less (if that's possible) what our parents, friends, acquaintances, and enemies think. It's their choice. We can't change it. We don't even know it most of the time. And, frankly, we're pretty much guaranteed that other people will disapprove of us and our choices about half of the time. No point in trying to improve that statistic.

"All that matters is what God thinks...," say our leaders. Except we don't exactly know what that is. We know he loves us. We know he sacrificed his perfect Son for us. That says a lot. Beyond that, we struggle to know what God thinks, especially when other people (and Satan himself) want us to believe that God no longer loves us.

So, if it doesn't matter what our wives (or parents, or friends) think, and if we will always struggle to know what God thinks, what does matter?

What we think.

The only thoughts we can control are our own. Therefore, the only thoughts we should worry about are our own.

In the past, I always saw myself as less than the man I could be. I felt I was not the person I wanted to be or should be.

And so, I wasn't.

Deep down, I disliked myself. I saw my actions as wretched, sinful, and selfish. I saw myself as trash, as someone to dispise.

And so, I was.

And I didn't see how anyone else could possibly care for or love me. My friends, my parents, my wife, my children, and even my God would never love me if they knew the real me, I told myself as if I knew their thoughts. How could they? I didn't even love myself.

Then, after learning from the likes of Litster and Dyer, I started telling myself that I AM a wonderful person, a fantastic creation, and exactly who I want to be and I'm supposed to be, just as I am right now. I loved my imperfections and mistakes—everyone has them. I realized that because of the atonement and sacrifice of God, I AM already the person I want to be.

And so, now I am.

Ignore what everyone else in the universe thinks about you, and change your own thoughts about you. These are the only thoughts you can change.

I would say I love you, I pray for you, and I am super excited for your sobriety and progress; you are doing fantastic.

But, really—who cares what I think? You shouldn't.


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"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
  • Choose to Believe
  • Choose to Change
  • Choose to Be Different
  • Choose to Exercise
  • Choose to Be Free "

    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988