Who cares?
By beclean
10/24/2015 4:12:49 PM
SJ, you and I need to learn not to care what our wives think about us. What they think is their decision and their problem, not ours. We can't change what they think; only they can.

Of course, it matters even less (if that's possible) what our parents, friends, acquaintances, and enemies think. It's their choice. We can't change it. We don't even know it most of the time. And, frankly, we're pretty much guaranteed that other people will disapprove of us and our choices about half of the time. No point in trying to improve that statistic.

"All that matters is what God thinks...," say our leaders. Except we don't exactly know what that is. We know he loves us. We know he sacrificed his perfect Son for us. That says a lot. Beyond that, we struggle to know what God thinks, especially when other people (and Satan himself) want us to believe that God no longer loves us.

So, if it doesn't matter what our wives (or parents, or friends) think, and if we will always struggle to know what God thinks, what does matter?

What we think.

The only thoughts we can control are our own. Therefore, the only thoughts we should worry about are our own.

In the past, I always saw myself as less than the man I could be. I felt I was not the person I wanted to be or should be.

And so, I wasn't.

Deep down, I disliked myself. I saw my actions as wretched, sinful, and selfish. I saw myself as trash, as someone to dispise.

And so, I was.

And I didn't see how anyone else could possibly care for or love me. My friends, my parents, my wife, my children, and even my God would never love me if they knew the real me, I told myself as if I knew their thoughts. How could they? I didn't even love myself.

Then, after learning from the likes of Litster and Dyer, I started telling myself that I AM a wonderful person, a fantastic creation, and exactly who I want to be and I'm supposed to be, just as I am right now. I loved my imperfections and mistakes—everyone has them. I realized that because of the atonement and sacrifice of God, I AM already the person I want to be.

And so, now I am.

Ignore what everyone else in the universe thinks about you, and change your own thoughts about you. These are the only thoughts you can change.

I would say I love you, I pray for you, and I am super excited for your sobriety and progress; you are doing fantastic.

But, really—who cares what I think? You shouldn't.


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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006