A little hope
By Humbled32
3/23/2015 3:14:41 PM
The weekend has passed by and I know God was with me. I feel so trapped and bound by my husbands problems. Still not admitting he even needs help or our marriage needs help I trudge along hoping for a change. Yesterday as we got home from church he let me know of a couple thoughts he had. One that someone's legs were nicer than mine.... Which he automatically got mad about when I started questioning him. Anyway, later that day he said he hated me and that I was stupid and I should go pray. So I did. I prayed as Nephi, that I would have strength to break the bands that were holding me down. That I would not be tricked into feeling the wrong things. That my mind may bare truths and that I may not be deceived. It happened. I did not faultier and the spirit was burning in my heart as I spoke to him. Today is back to new challenges or old ones that are continuous problems. I mean today has been a hard day.... A lot of times people talk about trusting their instinct in this. I would like to add I truley believe it's more than an instinct. I feel it's the spirit warning. I believe in the spirit of truth speaking to me and every situation my husband lied about yesterday was manifested through the spirit to me. I believe and trust in gods help and I hope that one day things will change. I hope I can find relief and each day not be such a selfish struggle.



First, I 100% know what you are talking about that the Spirit shows you the truth even when someone is lying. The Spirit of discernment is an amazing gift from our Heavenly Father. Personally, I didn't always want to believe what the Spirit was telling me because the truth hurt and I wanted to doubt. But as I learned to lean in and trust those whisperings, I've been able to cultivate it to the point that I trust those feelings even when 'evidence' points in another direction.

I pray God continues to bless you with the peace and firm strength you had yesterday. Sometimes those strong experiences are followed by long drougts without miracles and we have to hold on to their memory to get us through. But it is always in God's plan and His perfect way.

I want to support you in holding strong. What your husband said to you was emotionally abusive. Comparisons are both emotional infidelity as well as a form of manipulation to demean and control you. But far more serious is calling you stupid and that he hates you.... that is abuse.

I understand that addicts can come from dark places where they say those type of things to their spouse. I believe that he can heal and your marriage can heal. But in the mean time, it is entirely unacceptable for anyone to speak to you like that. To treat you that way and demean you.

Do you have an action plan for if he engages in abusive language? Do you have boundaries for what to do? Praying is obviously step one. But might I suggest prayerfully making a response plan for if it happens again so that you know in advance what actions to take to make it easier when you are in the heat of an emotional exchange."
posted at 13:01:03 on March 24, 2015 by maddy

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"Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. "

— Spencer W. Kimball