kicked out of school, excommunication, the real deal.
By SeminaryKid
2/3/2015 5:07:28 PM
this is kind of long story, but I won't tell all of it.
in a nutshell, here goes. I grew up in a very mormon family, so when I lost my virginity in high school it was unheard of to me. I didn't tell my family. I didn't tell anyone until college. I am going to BYU idaho and i told my campus bishop. i told him i want to go on a mission and get the priesthood and go to the temple. he told me that i had been forgiven and i was on the right track for all of those things. for two months i was so happy and hopeful and strong in the faith. when i finally felt confident that my testimony of christ had reached the certain point, I started announcing that I would be going on a mission at the end of this year, naturally my friends and family wee very excited for me! however, not two weeks later, out of nowhere, my new girlfriend and I had sex twice. we have stopped and are very anxious to start down the path to repentance together.
we've both pretty much accepted the fact that we will be kicked out of school. it is a violation of the honor code and our endorsements will be withdrawn.
I am not endowed, but she is. will she be excommunicated? if so, she is prepared for this possibility.
will she be sent home? her faith and activity in the church and her overall lifestyle will be much better off here, even if she isn't a student. she has a very difficult and hopeless home life.
how do I tell my parents, whom i just announced mission plans to?
we are very faithful that in the end everything will be okay, we don't doubt the mercy of jesus christ. we're just confused now. but we have very strict rules and plans about how to get the spirit back in our lives, together.
i will find out if i will serve a mission, depending on where i am a year from now.
thank you all so much for your help. god bless.


Keep going forward    
"I don't pretend to know BYUI's policy. I went there when it was Ricks. I do know that it is lead by good church leaders who make choices based on the spirit-what's best to help you. Just be honest. Confess your sins and face them-head on. Don't belittle or downgrade what happened when you confess. Repentance is not easy. But giving the Lord your burdens makes it so worth it. A mission is wonderful-keep working towards a worthy mission a temple marriage. God bless you and your girlfriend for trying to be worthy - now go get there."
posted at 17:34:13 on February 3, 2015 by SWarrior
The Future is Bright    
"This is a good place to ask the question. Through all the confusion the world puts us through God still loves you! He is the solution to this problem. He's not going to take away the consequences of your actions but will Guide you through the process, but its still our choice; listen to the world screaming all is lost or turn to God and follow His Councils however challenging.

I'm really just leaning these lessons now after putting my wife through Hell for 10 + years with my Pornography addiction and generalized twisted thinking disorder. So seeing this as an opportunity to make a brighter future for you and those around you is a very good thing. "
posted at 06:11:06 on February 4, 2015 by R_Matt
"You know you are in a tough spot but you've got a good attitude. Welcome to our site.

Ok, so I was there when it was Ricks too and so I can only share my experience. I had a roommate who had sex with her boyfriend while on a school break and aftwards her bishop had been working with her while she was there at school. I don't know the details of everything that happened. At one point, she gave up and went back home, but he actually kept in contact with her and encouraged her to come back to school. She had dropped out of classes but she did come back and lived there with us while working and figuring things out. She did not have a very good attitude about the whole thing. At one point she told me she planned on having sex with the boyfriend again when she got home, but even with that in her brain the bishop was still working with her.

I think the bottom line is a lot has to do with your bishop and a lot has to do with your attitude.

You'll probably have to delay the mission a bit, but you already know that. If your family is supportive then you can tell them. If they are not and you feel it would be better to not get into the details, then just tell them that you are preparing and working on getting ready. If people press you for more information you just answer with things like, "I want to make sure my heart is 110% ready." "I want to make sure I am ready to give the Lord my very best."

Hope we can support you here and help you."
posted at 09:18:37 on February 5, 2015 by maddy
Thank You All So Much    
"I spoke with my bishop, and he welcomed me with an outpouring of love. I am so glad I went to go spek with him when I did. I know he was called of God to minister to me during this. I have never been more hopeful or positive in my life! I am genuinely immensely grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow. I know that the Loprd will work through me to help me become the very most i can be!
my girlfriend has yet to speak with her bishop purely due to scheduling issues, but she is also very hopeful and we are very positive about working through this together. I know it has brought us closer together spiritually and emotionally. I am so grateful for all of your support. i know that the Lord always makes everything work for our good. don't ever give up. the blessings are disguised in the trials.
God bless all of you. "
posted at 01:25:29 on February 8, 2015 by SeminaryKid
God bless you    
"Good job taking that step. It is amazing the lies Satan tells us to keep us from talking to the Bishop."
posted at 01:41:25 on February 8, 2015 by SWarrior
prayers go out ot you    
"I certainlyu pray for grace to fill your life with guidance from God to do what you need to make the changes that you need to in your life. I am learning that in my experience in my misinterpreatino of what life is all about. Not to say what you have done or what any of have done, but that these negative experiences can be good growing experience to rely completely upon the Savior... Best wishes"
posted at 20:01:16 on February 8, 2015 by sjanderson
"I was reading my scriptures this morning (starting fresh) and found where in the first verse Nephi states that he has seen many afflictions. The word afflictions had a footnote to blessings. I know that God will make weak thing strong if we choose His way through our afflictions."
posted at 09:20:16 on February 9, 2015 by SWarrior

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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987