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Early Marriage as a result of sexual tension
By Created
1/24/2015 8:14:57 PM
I really want to get married early, right after my mission. I just have so much sexual tension. Am I normal? Why do people in the church wait so long sometimes?

Comments:

i believe you are 'normal'    
"not to be too much of a smart a@@ but i believe you are very normal. After nearly 15 years of marriage i am begining to learn that s@x is indeed optional. i believe that what we are here to learn is how to rely upon our Savior completely. The challenges that we face in a 'modern' era are a little differnt from maybe those of days gone by, but utimately we have to develop that faith over time. i believe that I try to cover my fear and inabilty to rely upon the Savior by s@xual acting out, overeating, worry or otherwise doing anything that draws me away from teh Savior. i am reexaminig a lot of things in my life.

i imagine that this doesn't answer your question and proabably just is a distraction, for that i apologize. what i am learning though is that i have to follow the Savior just as well as i can. I don't know your situation, it sounds as though your desire to be married soon is honorable and a good desire, but just by getting married that s@xual tension WILL NOT GO AWAY! I believe there are legions of folks who would testify that just by getting married DOES NOT relave s#xu$l tension in the LONG RUN. For a while things may be okay, you may be ale to cage the monster, but in my humble opinion and experience there is only on person who can remove that problem from your shoulders and that is the Savior. i hope this helps, please forgive me for my boldness."
posted at 18:03:08 on January 25, 2015 by sjanderson
Yes, You Are Normal    
"Don't get married early if your concern is sexual tension. A marriage is so much more than sex and cannot be sustained on sex alone. Most recently returned missionaries are not spiritually, financially, or practically prepared for marriage. There are more important things in life than sex.

As an RM who has been back 2 1/2 years and not even had a girlfriend, I feel I am at least somewhat qualified to answer your question. Why wait so long? First off, if I could control if I were married, I would, but an interesting girl that would be my wife has not come along yet (though not due to my lack of trying). Dating and marriage are incredibly personal and sacred things. Does sexual frustration contribute to my dating problems? Yes, but I'm much more worried about finding a girl who's right for me.
You can do it. Get married early if God says you should. Get married if you find a companion in whose company you feel elevated. Don't get married for the sex.


We do an absolutely terrible job in church culture of teaching people how to deal with sexual urges. The line "hum your favorite hymn" is so cliched (and it doesn't work with me)."
posted at 00:39:09 on January 26, 2015 by intothewest
Yep    
"Intothewest - Such a perfect comment. Spot on. Thank you. I have nothing to add except my +3 to what is said above.

SJ- as always. You rock."
posted at 11:15:01 on January 26, 2015 by maddy
I'm 21    
"This is really common, for a LDS guy to want to get married to have sex. That is normal to have that urge. But what I disagree with is rushing into a marriage just to do that, because once those two minutes are over on your wedding night you have 60 years plus an eternity to lice with that woman. An orgasm isn't worth it if you married the wrong partner.

So my recommendation to you is don't worry about it to much and do what every single Mormon guy does to hold off until marriage: Masturbate"
posted at 01:47:56 on January 28, 2015 by Anonymous
Dear trolling 21 year old    
"I refer you to my comment above "We do an absolutely terrible job in church culture of teaching people how to deal with sexual urges."

Just because church culture does a terrible job at teaching us how to deal with sexual thoughts and urges does not mean that masturbation is a good or valid option. There are some great ways to reduce sexual frustration (reexamining hurtful and sexist attitudes towards sexual matters, exercise, becoming involved in a forum like this, finding hobbies, friendships, music, etc.)."
posted at 03:12:20 on January 28, 2015 by intothewest
I read your previous comment    
"I have a lot of friends that take this approach on dating, "the right one hasn't come" or "I'll know when I meet her." Dating and marriage is very personal, but I find out interesting when people say that because in my opinion there are thousands of worthy women that any mean can technically marry but don't for a list of personal reason. I sorry of reject the idea of a perfect woman/match because nobody is perfect and you can make most work I if you really wanted to.

Anyway, with my comment I'm just saying it how it is. I'm sure you masturbate and you can't deny that marinating doesn't help alleviate sexual stress. Humans are made for sex, why do you think so many leaders encourage us to get married asap. Of course you know these things but I just find it interesting so many people like to think they don't need to masturbate yet they usually rely on it in order to avoid breaking the law of chastity. I can't count how many times I wanted to have sex with my girlfriend and tried holdings off for weeks on masturbating and I just wanted to have sex even more, until I masturbated and they're was led pressure. Unfortunately many people use porn which is bad, but that's a whole other topic.

You and I can say masturbation is wrong and is a big/small soon, but you can't deny it's role in helping people abstain from sex. There may be some who go to extremes on this and say how it's screwd up their lives but on a normal average level, I believe it's one of the biggest reasons many return missionaries who have been deprived of any female contact can avoid having sees the first month. I don't reduce faith and the gospel, obviously that's the main and most powerful reason."
posted at 10:02:05 on February 2, 2015 by Anonymous
In the World, not of it    
"Yes, humans are made for sex. It's hard wired into us. But I think you overestimate its power (especially on other people, since you only know your own sexual urges) It is not uncontrollable. Our attitudes on sexuality come almost entirely from this modern culture which we are in. People are not driven entirely by sex. Yes, it is a contributing factor in human behavior and a significant appetite. But it is not the only one. The human experience is so much more than sex."
posted at 21:35:07 on February 9, 2015 by intothewest


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"My brethren who are caught in this addiction or troubled by this temptation, there is a way. Don’t accommodate any degree of temptation. Prevent sin and avoid having to deal with its inevitable destruction. So, turn it off! Look away! Avoid it at all costs. Direct your thoughts in wholesome paths. Please heed these warnings. Let us all improve our personal behavior and redouble our efforts to protect our loved ones and our environment from the onslaught of ography that threatens our spirituality, our marriages, and our children. "

— Dallin H. Oaks

General Conference, April 2005